2 Naughty jokes Rate them pls.?

Question

A couple just got a new house. The husband turned to his wife and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge for him. She agreed and left. When she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in fornt of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her ''Do you want a screw for that hinge?''
She looked back at him and said ''No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window.''

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A man was coming home from work one evening when he passed a tattoo and piercing studio. He then had a spontanous idea. He walked in and asked the man to tattoo 'I love you' on to his dick. After the few minutes of pain it was done.
When the man returened home the first thing he did was show his wife. She replied: "Dear, why are you always trying to put words in my mouth?"

Answer 1

3 Nuns die and go straight to heaven. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates. He says,"Welcome, Sisters. Before entering Heaven, everyone must answer a question correctly, but since you served so faithfully, I'm sure you'll have no problem." To the 1st Nun he says, "What is the 1st book of the Bible called?''She says,"ooooh, that's easy ~ Genesis." With that, bells starting ringing, music started playing, and the pearly gates opened to allow her in. To the 2nd Nun, St. Peter says, " What were the names of the first man and woman created by God?" She says, "Ooooh, that's easy. Adam & Eve." Bells started ringing and music started playing and the pearly gates swung open to allow her in. To the 3rd Nun, he says, " When Eve first set eyes on Adam, what was the first thing she said to him?'' The Nun got a very puzzled look on her face, then said," Ooooh, that's a hard one." Bells started ringing.............................

Good jokes, by the way.

M

Answer 2

7 and 7

Answer 3

Lol, those are cute. Heres a true story that i still find funny.

A women was in the checkout line at her local grocery store. when the clerk tried to ring up her tampons the price wouldnt come up so he got on the pa and asked for a price check for tampax, another clerk came on thinking he said thumbtacks, and said, the kind you push in or pound in with a hammer. how embarrassing.

Answer 4

joke 1= 5
joke 2= 2

Answer 5

Cute. The tattoo joke reminded me of another old one: Two nurses in a Canadian hospital were changing shifts. Gertrude, an old fat one was coming off shift and Trixie, a young pretty one was coming on. Gertrude tells Trixie, " I was giving that handsome young patient Mr. Roberts a bath today and discovered he has a tattoo on his penis. It spells 'SWAN'. The next day the nurses are changing shifts and Trixie tells Gertrude, "I gave Mr. Roberts a bath last night and saw the tattoo. It doesn"t say 'SWAN', it says 'SASKATCHEWAN'.

Answer 6

100 out of 100

Answer 7

Very good for (naughty) humor 10/10
Points off, as not suitable for all situations/persons 7/10
Average overall rating each 8.5

Answer 8

Tattoo joke is #1

Answer 9

First one was ok, second one was good!

The wife ask her husband to repair the leaking faucet. "Do I look like a plumber?" her answered. Later on she asked him to clean the porch. "Do I look like Mr Clean?" was his answer before leaving for a game. When he arrived home, both things were done. "Our neighbor said he could help me if I brought him in bed or baked him a good cake" his wife explained. "So you baked him a cake!" though his husband out loud. "Do I look like Betty Croker?"

Answer 10

These are not the kind of jokes that make people laugh
Look at yahoo jokes and you'll get the idea