My 4 and 6 year old have small chores around the house but most important is cleaning up after themselves (putting away toys), they are to put dirty dishes in the sink after eating, they MUST clean up their rooms. They don't have to vacuum, wash dishes, or lawn maintenance. I believe having chores shows responsibility but my parents say I am too hard on them. My children are extremely smart and as a result of their cleaning, they now have a routine and are much cleaner children. I see nothing wrong with this. As they get older, they will have even more chores to do and they will be rewarded for it. But I was given chores at the age of 5 and there is nothing wrong with me. Any ideas?
2006-09-03 03:55:51 · 34 answers · asked by Southern Lady 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Wrong?! WRONG?!?!?!?!
Good heavens, woman, it would be wrong NOT to.
The chores you've assigned all sound very reasonable to me, as does your sensible plan for increasing their responsibilities over time.
You seem to understand all this very well, so I'm guessing that what you're really asking about is "the grands" coming down on you.
It seems to come with the territory for most grandparents to be over-indulgent, which is fine, as long as they don't have the day-to-day responsibility for the kids.
Just remind your parents that they they gave you chores to do, and that you are the parent and must decide for yourself what is best (as they did when they were raising you). Remind them that, as the children won't have 24/7 servant help all of their lives, learning how to take care of things, and developing the habit of doing so young is in their long-term best interest.
(I had a roommate who had grown up with servants, and she had no idea whatsoever how to go about mopping a floor. Had to ask what the procedure was. Seriously.)
Don't let them bother you; they're just being grandparents -- they can't help themselves.
Try to find amusement in their attitude, rather than taking it seriously as a legitimate criticism.
2006-09-03 06:56:14 · answer #1 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my family my 'rents work 4 10 hour days and my brother, sister, and I tend the house whenever possible. Whoever doesnt have after school activities comes home and helps pick it up. We are fairly clean with the exception of my sister who is only 11. I think that chores help us in the long run because if we dont learn house keeping or cleanliness now when will we, when its too late? Chores are a wonderful way to get your child/ren ready for the rest of their lives. When I was 5 I started doing dishes and my own laundry because my mom didnt have time to get to it every day. I think the chores you have chosen for your kids are decent and even if you gave them a few more simple tasks it wouldnt be hard on them at all.
-- Me help keeping the house up I dont get an allowance or any money for it unless I happen to need the money for a particular reason.
2006-09-03 05:56:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving small children simple chores, especially to clean up after themselves. I've know too many grown people that have never had to do anything for themselves and they think that the housework just somehow happens magically. My 5 year old actually loves to help set the table and do simple chores, maybe because I make a game out of it and really make a big deal when he does it, especially if he does it without being asked. One day he put his shoes in his closet without being asked and I pretended they must've been put there by the tooth fairy or something. Every day since he puts them away and we have fun guessing who put them there.
Bottom line, you are a good parent for doing this. Your parents just want to be grandparents - let them spoil the kids a little - but keep doing what you are doing.
2006-09-03 04:05:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
When I was a child, my mom gave me pretty much the same chores you are giving your children. I think it is good to give kids some responsibility. They realize that they (not you) will be responsible for cleaning up any messes they make and, consequently, they will think before they make them. If I got out blocks or paints to play with, I knew that if i made a really big mess, I would be the only one to clean it up. This made me more organized and cleaner. As I got older (10 or so) my mom adding vacuuming my room and washing dishes to my chore list. She also gave me an allowance which I think is not only a big incentive for kids to do their best, but also teaches them principles of saving. Giving children responsibility for their actions teaches them that all actions have consequences and they will therefore think before doing something.
2006-09-03 04:06:29 · answer #4 · answered by Samsarin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great!! You've started them off young in learning how to take care of their own things. This will make it easier to advance them into contributing to taking care of the house.
I think it is horrible when parents don't expect anything from their kids when they are young, and suddenly dump a lot of chores on them at an older age. These parents get frustrated that their kids rebel, and it really is their own fault.
Keep up with the good work! As long as you praise them when they do the chores, express that it's important, and yet allow for their age in how well they're going to complete the chores - they will definitely benefit later from the routine you've established now.
2006-09-03 05:24:19 · answer #5 · answered by katnkaboodle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think when parents become grandparents they generally forget what they were like with their own kids. They never want to see you discipline your kids. You are saying that you had chores at five and they are giving you a hard time about making your kids do the same thing. I think chores are a good idea. Your kids are taught responsibility and to be tidy, which are life lessons they will carry with them for the rest of their lives. You are also giving them a chance to be rewarded for thier work, not just giving them hand outs, which is also another important life lesson. I'm sure you have already tried this, but keep reminding your parents of what they were like when you were a kid. good luck! you're doing great! keep it up!
2006-09-03 04:11:47 · answer #6 · answered by emilyanne 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Giving children age appropriate chores is always a good idea. At such a young age, kids always want to be Mommy's helper so they are willing to do what you ask and it gets them in a habit of taking care of their things. It also makes them feel like they are an important part of the family. Make sure you tell them that regularly.
I also think that it helps them not to be helpless, spoiled brats when they get older.
As my son got older, I taught him how to do more age appropriate chores like doing his laundry and cleaning his own bathroom.
You turned out ok because your parents gave you chores. They just now have that selective grandparent memory, where they believe you had a happy-go-lucky childhood with no responsibilities. My mom doesn't remember my sibs and I ever having to lift a finger to care for ourselves, but she just doesn't remember correctly. I'm thankful that my parents gave us chores. We had a lot easier time with life when we got out on our own than some of my spoiled friends did.
2006-09-03 04:10:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh no. Kids can do chores. I think kids should do chores. I make my boys clean up the lawn before I mow, put thier toys up every night, clean their rooms, set the table, clear the table, vac a few times a week, walk the dog, and bathe the dog (this is for 4 kids, so don't think I am running a slave labor here LOL).
I think it is important for kids to learn how to clean house because they will have to do it for themselves one day. My ex NEVER cleaned even his room so when we got married it was a major shock for me that I have to work the same as he did AND clean. That is one reason he is an ex LOL.
2006-09-03 07:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by mommato4boys 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is wrong at all. I was given chores at age six. I gave my four year old and seven year old chores. But just small ones. My four year old has to make her bed, clean her room, help me put clothes on peoples' beds after they are washed and folded, and help set the table. My seven year old son has to make his bed, clean his room, help me vaccuum, and help me dry the dishes and put them away for me. They are very responsible and it only takes them about an hour a day to do it.
2006-09-03 05:38:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you. I have already raised two children and now I am raising a grandchild who is now 6.
My little girl cleans up behind herself, puts toys away, dishes in the sink, dirty clothes in the hamper and cleans her own room with the exception of changing sheets and stuff like that.
She also helps me put the dishes in the dishwasher, and helps me take clothes out of the dryer and fold them. And then puts her clothes (socks, panties and night gowns) in her dresser.
Your parents say you are to hard on your kids because they are their GRAND CHILDREN. It was ok for us to do chores but now it is not ok for our kids to do it.
Well from experience I can tell you that the only reason your parents think that way is because you always think and feel differently about your grandkids.
Grandkids are special and you tend to want to baby them, please them and so forth.
When you have grandkids, you will be the same way probably.
The only reason I'm not like that is because I am raising mine and to me, she is just another one of my kids.
But I still let her get away with things that I would have never of let my kids get away with. I am a lot easier on her.
2006-09-03 13:28:50 · answer #10 · answered by ETxYellowRose 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋