She doesn't make any effort, any advice?

Question

I don't wanna talk to her about it, because I don't want to offend her or make her embarrassed. But the situation is basically this:

When I kiss her, she's fine with it and she's happy to go for hours, but she'll never make the move. I've accepted that, now. Maybe it is a guy's job, huh? Still, if there's an chance for us to say, "kiss" (maybe we're lying down next to each other), it always feel like she purposely does things to avoid anything from happening. Like, she'll sit up, or turn away... not "as" I go to kiss her, but almost as if to prevent it before.

An example sees us at her place one evening. I asked her to come and lie next to me as we watched a film (I didn't actually wanna watch the film, come on!) but she said, "if I lie down, I'll fall asleep." Why isn't she getting the hints?

I feel like I make it so obvious that I wanna make a "move" (and not even anything like actual sex), but it just seems to me like she's purposely avoiding it.

Any advice or stuff?

NOTE: I'll add that maybe she ISN'T avoiding me on purpose in these situations, but that's the impression I get. It's so subtle that maybe she isn't even doing it on purpose, but, hm!

I don't push her "sexually", like, I've never tried anything on with her except making-out and we trust each other 100% so she knows I respect her anyway.

But it seems like she's not interested in this stuff to me at all.

It's her first serious relationship ever. Maybe she's just shy or adjusting to the changes?

NOTE: You're not ready my question properly, THIS ISN'T ABOUT SEX. I'm not talking about sex. I'm just talking about kissing. I don't even care about sex.

NOTE: I'm in LOVE with this girl, she's been my best friend for 3 years before we got together some months ago and I'd never cheat on her or anything, I'm not like that at all.

Answer 1

Sounds like fear to me. She seems to be afraid to make a dumb new at this sexual stuff mistake. Can you blame her since even I sense you have experience. I wonder do these situation happend ever time you guys are together? If so you are pushing her away and eventually she will run. Stop pushing. Stop having make out sessions. Do things like holding her had, pecks on the check and hands. Do things that a really young couple would do that wouldn't lead to other sexual acts. Take it really slow. This will take the pressure off and she may just come around. Oh last advice for yourself invest in some really good lube for you own personal use. You'll need it if you plan to stay with this girl and work things out without talking to her.

Answer 2

Yup I agree with you she is purposely avoiding it. She is obviously not ready for the type of relationship you want so you have two choices.

1. Stay with her and wait knowing the day may not come anytime soon when you guys do the deed.

2. Move on. This of course will depend on how much you like this girl. The choice is up to you but please do not string this girl along if you know you are going to be unfaithful. Just end it if you think you cannot wait.

Answer 3

wow she is really immature. maybe you should talk to her it won't embarass her, just tell her that it makes you sad when she doesn't act intimate to you. tell her that you want her to start making moves(kissing). she could also be insecure. it also depends on your age. if this is high school love maybe she just isn't ready for that and you have to respect that. if this is older love then she really doesn't need a bf until she matures a little bit. just make sure you let her know that you love her. anad the most important thing is to talk to her. you could even say"listen I love you a lot but I feel like something is bothering you. You seem to be avoiding kissing, If you don't like that just tell me and we will go at your pace. I just love you a lot and I want this relationship to work for me and you. Please lets talk about this. I love you."-change it to fit you. eye contact when you say this. look concerned.
you have to make sure to use the I love you so she doesn't get the message that you are breaking up. Try that and see how that works.

Answer 4

She sound like she is a very conservative person. Instead of initiating intimacy ask her to do it. If that does not work then to talk to her about her reservedness. Is she a virgin, cause if she is that could be the reason she is so reserve. Maybe she thinks if you guys start making out, you will eventually want to take to third base. She may not be ready for that step. Therefore, she tries to prevent any actions that may lead to that.

Answer 5

Dude.. this same thing happened to me.. way before it was all peachy.. time went by and she was acting the same.. avoiding every possible move from me.. just the same as u said..
it went on like this until one day i had to ask her what was going on as i felt she was pushing me away..
Then one day..i found out that there was a new guy entering her life and tearing us apart.. i still am going through a lot of pain..
All I say is, be careful brother.. play your cards safe and dont get too attached..
Though i lost mine.. I hope u'll be able to keep yours..
Good Luck!

Answer 6

i think you're dealing with a annoying time with this complicated stuff. it fairly is fullyyt as much as you, in case you like her yet can not settle for the form you're taken care of you could call it off! Or could be you could take some circumstances chatting along with her and show your situation approximately her being herself and make issues better out. i'm not on your shoe yet it rather is all suggestion i supplies terrific of wonderful fortune mate!

Answer 7

I have experienced something similar before. You need to share your feelings with her to find out how she truly feels. When a girl really likes a guy she might get scared. It has nothing to do with you, but a lot of girls are just like that. Be patient with her. Show her some understanding and if it is meant to be everything will work out.

Answer 8

I know you dont want to make her uncomfortable and all, but you really do need to sit and have an honest talk with her. Tell her what you are feeling, that you really like being near her and kissing her. Tell her how you feel about what she is doing and that to you it feels like maybe she is avoiding intimacy with you. Make sure she knows that you are not trying to pressure her for sex, that genuinely want to know how she feels about more physical intimacy.

Answer 9

She may be avoiding situations where she believes you're going to try and initiate sex and she's not ready for that. She may view your romantic intentions as a motive. And she probably isn't even aware she's doing it.

Answer 10

It seems you arent getting the hints. She will let you know when she is ready. You need to ask yourself if you are willing to wait. She may not be as into the relationship as you are.