how to cope with self harm?

Question

i have been self harming for 5 years now and stoped for a while and i ened up cutting my wrists open last night the reson is that i had an abortion last week and i cant cope with it my boyfriend has not been there for me he says its to much for him to cope with and when i try and talk to him about the abortion he just said you should just get over it it was not a baby it was somethink that would have been a baby i was 8 weeks and i just cant get oer it i just dont know what to do any more am scired i might go to deep with cutting myself

Answer 1

Honey I don't know how old you are but an abortion is a tragic thing if it comes into your life. No one just gets over it. You can let your boyfriend know that yes it is a tramautic experience you just went through and you need his help for support. I was sixteen when I had an abortion and i am now 46. I was forced into an abortion because my Mom signed the papers and i was a minor so I couldn't do nothing about it. Every year what would have been the babies birthday I mourn and think about what it would have been and what that baby would have been like. Its hard to forget and tell your boyfriend to grow up because that was a real baby you were carrying actually if he can't or won't be there for you dump his *** and find a new guy who will treat you better. Good Luck and please don't cut anymore self mutilation is not the answer I know because i too am a cutter. Try to relax and think of good things and not the negative things and you will find that you won't want to cut as often.

Answer 2

Talking it over with the Samaritans would be a good starting point, but also a visit to your GP would be a good idea.

Someone I knew who self harmed was told to put an elastic band round her wrist and whenever she felt that she wanted to self harm she was advised to pull the elastic band and let it go. The pain from the band was really sharp and it was a way of getting relief without actually cutting.

This is only a short term measure and you do really need to talk to someone. GP's today are not shocked at people self-harming and they are very sympathetic.

Good luck and take care

Birdie

Answer 3

First thing brake up with that boy. I'd say kill your self but then again I know some dead people and they say that isn't a good idea. Its kinda sucks you care, "now". You should have never went into the things you did thinking you where ever going to care again. But there is one of two things you can do for your self. Drugs or Religion. Thows are things that can help you not think of this stuff. Also here are a few lil'things that will help a lil. Choo Gum, Drink OJ, Piss People off, and don't care. (If you can) You can contact me if you wanna, I'm up for talking. You seem cool. Saying I cared would be an understatement.

Answer 4

Hi there... Sounds like you are having a REALLY rough time and gone through some traumatic stuff. :( I hope that you have the help and support of a good therapist. If not, I am including a link to a therapist search below.

DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) is often very helpful for cutting. It teaches you how to regulate emotions (something trauma survivors often have difficulty with). I would highly recommed finding a good DBT program/group. If you don't already have a therapist, you might want to find one who is trained in DBT.

I hope you find more support. You deserve way more help than you are getting. Good luck!

Answer 5

Well done for stopping! It shows that you don't want to live like that, just try to hold on to the will that made you stop.

Your boyfriend sounds like an immature jerk and you would be better off without him! If you need someone to talk to go to your doctor or call the Samaritans. Also, talk to either your parents, if you can, or to some close friends. I'm sorry to say that if you post things like this on here you are going to get abuse and stupid comments from losers who don't understand. You really need to talk to a person, preferably someone who can give you the help you need.

Take care and stay strong.

Answer 6

The key is to learn how to identify your emotions, triggers, and stressors, so that you can learn how to better deal with them in the future, or how to avoid or lessen them. Allow yourself to hurt and to be angry and to feel guilt, but also remember that you have to learn how to deal with these things and how to ease them. Important

Every one of us is different. We all SI for different reasons and in different ways. If none of these suggestions work for you, then don't give up. Change them. Try something totally different, or do the same things in unusual ways. Individualise your coping methods. Tailor them so they fit you snuggly and comfortable. Maybe instead of writing you can use a tape recorder. Or instead of doing something nice for yourself, do something for someone else. There are many ways for us to heal, and not everything that works for someone else works for us.
Don't give up. Keep trying, and remember to try each thing you think of more than once, because it takes time to get used to new habits and get rid of the old.
And no one is perfect, but if you can go three days, or eight, or thirty without SI'ing, then remember that you may have SI'ed, but you went without it for a time. Every bit of progress is great, but too often we don't recognise it as a forward motion. The fact that you went 8 days without SI'ing is much more important than the fact that you did end up hurting yourself.
The three things that help me not to cut the most:
1. Wearing long sleeves. See, I rub at my scars a lot, and sometimes looking at them makes me want to cut. I have problems bathing when I am in a cutting mood, because it means I have to see the cuts. I have found that keeping them covered, even at night, helps me avoid cutting.
2. Writing or painting about self injury helps me. Either writing about it, or writing out coping methods (like now). It helps get it outta my head. It doesn't really bring any special awareness, but it does keep me busy, especially mentally. It takes the emotional edge off.
3. A support group with other SIs that I can talk. It's obvious your husband is not giving you the support you need. this one is on-line

You can contact me anytime

Answer 7

www.recoveryourlife.com

Try this site out. It is there to help people who self harm. I havent visited it myself but there are forums and advice on how to deal with it.

I self harmed for many years wen i was a teenager, it was the only way i could cope with difficult situations. When i did seek help, i saw a counsellor who listened to me and never judged me or told me my problems where not important.
I learned how to cope with my problems and not cut myself. It wasnt easy, and the need to cut myself never went away but i learnt to handle that need and not do it.

I am 40 now, and not self harmed for 7 years. I still want to at times but now i can reason with myself and not do it.

Things will improve, and maybe finding someone that you can talk to will help you the way it helped me.

I wish you all the best

Answer 8

You really need to talk to someone about how your feeling Samaritans are good you can also email them but you really need some professional advice and you need to talk
it's hard that your boyfriend wont talk to you therefore you need support from other friends, family , support group etc.. whatever works best for you!
you don't need any one to tell you that self harming isn't the way to help

Answer 9

This isn't a question one person can answer.

There are good sites on the web where you can get help and support. Amongst the best are recoveryoulife and lifesigns. They offer good advice and message boards where you can talk to people who can relate to what you're going through. I've been there myself, so I know how hard it is. Hang in there, you'll get through this. Best of luck.

Answer 10

self harm is very serious,, and there is always a chance you will do some serious harm to yourself.

I am very sad to hear about the abortion, I am sure it was a very hard thing to have to do,, and sounds like you didn't have much support from anyone.

you might try a local support group or seeking professional theraphy.
Please try to take special care of yourself.