Is it okay for you to in a relationship with someone that lied about a very HUGE, important thing?
my boyfriend and i have been going out for a month and a couple of weeks, he asked me if i was a virgin (i am) so i said yes, i asked him and he said yes, too. however the problem stems from his best friend who is alsomy best friend, he told me, that my boyfriend is lying and that he had sex with three girls, severals times, but i asked him, r u sure ur a virgin, he still insists that he is, but i know that my best friend would not lie. what do i do, so i stay with him, do i play with his head to try to get him to tell the truth. please help me.
2006-09-03 02:50:18 · 26 answers · asked by vernoica 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
How does your best friend know that your boyfriend had sex? Did he/she WATCH? Participate? Did your boyfriend tell him or her?
Basically, it comes down to a matter of trust. Whom do you trust more?
To get to the truth of the matter, you may have to tell your bf that your best friend told you that he's had sex. Tell him you're confused and ask him if it's true. Then ask him if there's any reason why his best friend would tell you something like that.
Is your best friend a guy or a girl? It could be that maybe they're a little jealous of your relationship with your bf and are trying to sabotage it? I know this sounds awful, but it's a common occurrence.
I hope that you can get to the bottom of things soon. Best of luck to you.
Oh, and P.S. -- Don't have sex with this guy until you can completely trust him. Give the relationship time. If he IS lying about his virginity, he could be lying about lots of things. You need to get to know him better. :)
2006-09-03 02:56:28 · answer #1 · answered by chrissyberry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is why is he lying to you. Is it to protect your feelings, as in you said you are a virgin so he said he was also to make you feel more comfortable? Or is he just a pathological liar? One month is not nearly long enough to really know anyone. Your options are to 1) stop seeing him 2) tell him that you know the truth and want him to tell you the truth or 3) keep seeing him, be very careful, DO NOT engage in a sexual relationship with him and see if, after you have know each other better and have built a basis for trust, perhaps he will tell the truth. Good luck and if you are very young, don't take this guy too seriously.
2006-09-03 02:55:33 · answer #2 · answered by knowledgeisgood 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Friend,
Since u r very much concerned about your bf's status, u shud not cross question him all the time about his virginity. it might give way to suspecion.
one thing is sure, either your bf or your best friend is lying.
Who knows whether your best friend is lying about your present bf so that u wud dumb him
and he cud become your new bf.
At the same time who knows your present bf is waiting to get his turn on u and dumb u later,just like the other girls.
So both of them must be monitored carefully.
U must have the eyes of a hawk and ears of a dog.
Since your best buddy told u that he(bf) had sex with few other girls.and if u think he is telling u the truth,then ask him for the contact details of those girls, if possible ask him to arrange a meeting with them so that u cud personally ask them about your bf. if he says i dont know any of their details and if he keeps stalling, then god knows, he might be bluffing.
But since u mentioned that your best friend doesnt lie, try to ask him for those girls details. if he's your best friend,then he wud never let u down.
At the same time, keep an eye on your bf all the time. Be in touch with him on the phone when ever he is not their with u physically. and ask him where he is and whats he doing now. somday u might know whats he upto and where he is. and if u do everything as planned,then
the truth will come out in the open.
Dont worry, dont feel depressed. But please dont have sex with him. atleast till u know the truth. Its for your own safety. If he had sex with those girls, god knows whether he used protection(condom) for that or not. So keep yourside safe.
Dont worry, ok? everything will b in order soon.
May god help u find out who's cheating whom.
Always remember, what i said and i will pray for u.
So, let the investigation begin..............
Good luck.
2006-09-03 03:47:53 · answer #3 · answered by Bravo mike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your boyfriend lied to the friend about sleeping with the girls to make him look good? If you don't figure out the truth I would end it now before you get too attached. It's only been a month and he's already lying to you! Good Luck Sweetheart ; )
2006-09-03 02:56:15 · answer #4 · answered by lottie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless your best friend was one of the girls (or guys) he supposedly had sex with or somehow watched, she or he has no way of knowing for sure what he did or did not do.
"do i play with his head to try to get him to tell the truth". No. Maybe you should just wait until you are mature enough to be in a relationship before you date any more.
Bottom line, you don't know if he lied or not. If you can't trust him to tell you the truth, you don't need to be around him.
2006-09-03 03:04:30 · answer #5 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question is why does it matter? Is there a religious reason or you do you just want someone that is untouched? And How old are you? Most people lose thier virginity in thier early teens. To be honest someone needs to know what they are doing somewhat. Two virgins having sex is like the blind leading the blind. If he lied dump him and find someone who is experienced in the art of sex. Someone that wont lie about it and someone who will teach and guide you in your sexual experience. Just keep in mind SEX IS NOT a one sided experience.
2006-09-03 02:56:47 · answer #6 · answered by llll_bouncer_llll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl...the friendship built in trust...if you trust your friend and do not trust him, that mean you are not in love with him and you are not ready for sex...why you asked for virgin or not?
Anyways, he could not trust that you are virgin either...these days...virgin or not is not a important issue no more...as long as you love each other.
Bottom line is ....forget about virgin...you are make thing up to bring relationship into a bind....you will never have boy friend if you keep acting childish like that....good luck.
2006-09-03 03:05:39 · answer #7 · answered by Duke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please, never try to play head games with anyone. You don't know if the best friend is lying or has an agenda of his own. Tell your bf what the best friend said and let them straighten it out. Both of them need to come to you with the truth .... one of them lied. Anytime there are trust issues in a relationship, the relationship is damaged. If your bf has lied ..... walk away.
2006-09-03 02:56:55 · answer #8 · answered by lollipop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He lied to you once about a major issue (about his virginity or lack thereof), so what's to stop him from lying about another major issue? How can you love someone you don't trust? Everyone lies about small things, once in a while. But, if they lie about something major, that's different. It could be that you think it's major, but he thinks it's very minor. But, if it's a major issue with YOU, then I say dump him and move on.
2006-09-03 03:00:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is confront your boyfriend . u can never live in a doubtful relationship . if you feel your guy is lying ...try to find out the truth , if you know your best friend is sure about what she is saying , u should discuss this with your guy . if he is at fault his expressions , guilt , anger will reflect . u deserve better girl move on
2006-09-03 02:57:02 · answer #10 · answered by ruchi p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋