i am 45 and single and was dumped by love of my life for life of drugs . ive dated many but cant love anyone .

Question

i was married for 10 years and had two kids and was so happy and at 40 my wife started seeing other men and started doing drugs and i tryed to hold on but i finally had to let go . now i miss love and this dateing thing is impossible to me . i want real feelings not sex alone and ive tryed giveing my new dates time and some of them were willing to be serious but i wont waste a ladys time if im not feeling something. i know how to love but its not happening and im a good looking 45 and have lots to still give someone and ive tryed everything . i thought maybe someone knows something i dont . im true hearted and wont go any other way but im gentleman and i dont like breaking things off with wemon . i love wemon but none have caught my heart yet and im panicing here .

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear about your ex-wife and drugs. They do so much damage in relationships. It is impossible to have a relationship with a drug.

I appreciate the fact that you are a gentleman. A rare find in today's society. As for looking, I think if you would relax, and just enjoy other women's company and quit trying so hard to find true love, it just might happen. I think that you might be trying to "replace" the love that you had with your ex. I am sorry to say but that won't happen. I have been married a couple pf times, and I had a different love with each of them. One was much more emotional than the other one, and that one was much more mental and physical. They both felt right. So give your self sometime. I understand and think it is awesome that you care about their feelings the way you do. But like I said if you relax a little, and stop "hunting" and enjoy each woman for who and what they are, you will find the right one when you least expect it to happen.
God Bless

Answer 2

10 years is a long time to be with someone and to have to let go the way you did ... is difficult at best.

I read years ago in a magazine study that it takes approximately 4 months for each year a person is together to "really get over" that relationship. So let's say for argument sake we'll just count the 10 years of marriage. We are talking (as a genaral survey consensus) that it would take you approximately 40 months or about 3-1/2 years to "really" move on from this hurt of marriage brought to you.

I can almost relate to your situation and it is difficult at best. I have been divorced 12 years and am still wondering the same thing. So.... don't try to force it. Allow yourself tie to grieve. Allow yourself time to be angry about it. Allow yourself to review the good things in the marriage, be thankful for them, then learn from the bad and move on in a more positive way.

I have found that when you can do those things and sincerely be okay with them, you'll be better at moving forward in your life.

I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

Don't panic. It hard to find a woman you have things in common with and love. Especially after your experience. But there is a woman out there for you but you just have to keep looking. Its like going to purchase something real good. You may have to try a lot of stores and see a lot of things to compare it to, but when you find what you want you will know it. You might even look at some inter racial dating, White, Mexican, Black, Asian, Join some clubs. Had an uncle that love to square dance. Go to church singles groups in your town, but do not think that because some one goes to church they are good.
Good luck in your search.

Answer 4

Keep Trying. You'll find who your looking for but not if you give up. Take some time and relax and just go out and have fun, a night with the guys now and then. When you look for love sometimes we look too hard because love finds us when we least expect it. I hope you find what your looking for. You deserve some good luck to come into your life.

Answer 5

This from a women's point of view...you sound desperate, and i dont mean to sound disrespectful, but you come across anxious, you said it yourself you are panicking...but why are you panicking, is it because you feel time is running out...listen you will find the right woman with time, but remember not to be looking for a woman to re-fill the shoes of your wife...cause then you will never find her, simply because none of them will be what you are looking for. Dont try so hard, sometimes when we dont try so hard we still get results, and when we try too hard we overlook the very thing we wanted, which is right under our noses so to speak, but Good Luck.

Answer 6

I agree that you are trying too hard. Releax, do the things you enjoy doing with yourself or with your kids. You have to love yourself before anyone will love you. Challenge yourself to something new like taking a class at your local college. Dont worry about finding love...it will find you. And remember your not alone.
T

Answer 7

I'm sure you'll soon meet someone you love and who loves you too. it's about time.

In a mean while, you can enjoy your life as a single. go on a vacation and do whatever you haven't been able to do for the last 10 years.

good luck!

Answer 8

You had wife do that and you are worried about being single right now? I personally wouldn't get involved with anyone for 2-5 years.

Answer 9

I agree with... oldsoftee2001

Stop trying so hard...
Be by yourself (ALONE) for a while
and while you are doing that.
WAIT AND SEE WHAT (who) COMES TO YOU!
(after 2 or 3 years of this it just might scare you who (WHAT) did come to you)

do what you like and enjoy
took me 2-5 years to remember what "I" liked to do

Do what You like and enjoy...
bet there'll be women there doin' that too.

Answer 10

Don't panic. Your health and good looks will last long enough to find another love. Be careful and be patient and be about your normal business. It will happen by surprise.