Filthy infidels! Can you not see that you are doomed by your support of the Sunni heretical Islamic radicals?

Question

Death to bin laden, the Saudi tyrants, the Wahabbists and hurrah for the great noble Iran, Hezbollah,and the great martyrs that continue to die for the cause of Allah! As for the civilians who are killed, they too are martyrs and will find a place in Paradise. In'sh Allah!

Answer 1

72 Questions on the 72 Virgins

By Martin M. Bodek
http://www.martinbodek.com/

Muslim fundamentalists believe that a "martyr" (shaheed) who dies while fighting in the holy war against the infidels (jihad) goes to paradise where he is given 72 beautiful virgins for wives plus a number of never aging boys for slaves (apparently, pedophilia is allowed in paradise as well as slavery and polygamy). This is the eternal bliss that the suicidal Islamic terrorists crave. In an interesting twist, if a woman dies as a martyr, she is rewarded with only one husband since women are supposed to stay monogamous even in heaven -- according to the same Islamic doctrine.

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1) What if the bomber wants girls with more experience?
2) What if one virgin is no good in bed? Does she get replaced or is he stuck with 71?
3) If he's gay, does he get male virgins?
4) What if he's celibate? What does he get?
5) What if he hasn't reached puberty yet? Does he get 72 Xboxes till he comes of age?
6) If he's bi, does he get 36 of each?
7) If he blows himself up while building the bomb, does he still get credit?
8) What do you call a relationship with 72 women, a menage-a-soixante-douze?
9) Are they like 72 wives or 1 wife and 71 concubines?
10) What if he's ugly or smells bad and the virgins don't want anything to do with him?
11) Is there viagra in paradise? Ya know, just in case?
12) Is there an age of consent?
13) When they're deflowered, do they get replaced by new virgins or are they "born again"?
14) Do they become his common-law wives eventually?
15) If he has a tryst with a 73rd virgin, do the others consider it cheating?
16) Do the virgins have a union? If so, can they strike if they're not satisfied?
17) Is there a temp agency that replaces virgins if they call in sick?
18) What if the bomber's into animals? Does he get accommodated?
19) Why 72? Is 71 too few? Is 73 too many?
20) If it was a female bomber, how do the male virgins prove their virginity?
21) What happens when paradise runs out of virgins?
22) Can a bomber make reservations on specific virgins before he blows himself up?
23) If there are no virgins available, is he put on a waiting list?
24) If he's a catholic priest, does he get 72 little boys?
25) Would you call a female bomber a bombshell?
26) Would you call a child bomber a bombino?
27) Is it not 73 out of respect for Barry Bond's home run record?
28) If the bomber previously dated one of the virgins, does it get awkward?
29) Do they have a bomb squad in paradise just in case one of the charges didn't go off?
30) Did they start using female bombers because they ran out of virgins for the guys?
31) If she's a lesbian, do they "convert" the virgins, or will straight girls suffice her?
32) Does a hermaphrodite bomber get hermaphrodite virgins?
33) If so, are there 72 available?
34) If they run out of virgins, do they get inflatable dolls till they find more?
35) If a bomber finds an infidel in paradise, can he blow him up and get 72 more virgins?
36) Could the Koran have had a typo and it actually provided just one 72 year old virgin?
37) Is Muslim hell being one of the 72 virgins?
38) Instead of 72 guys, would a female bomber settle for 1 man who does dishes and garbage?
39) Do the bombers go broke on Valentine's Day?
40) If he's monogamous, does he pick one of the 72 or does he get a supermodel?
41) What if he doesn't like either gender? Does he just klutz around in paradise?
42) Eternity is long, and eventually he'll grow bored of his 72 women. What happens then?
43) How does he pick the 72 to begin with? Lottery? Beauty pageant? Police lineup?
44) Is he allowed to covet his neighbor's virgins?
45) Do the virgins have agents and/or contracts?
46) If so, can a virgin request to be traded or put on waivers if she's unhappy?
47) What should he say if one of the virgins asks "Does this Burka make me look fat?"
48) If he gives the wrong answer, is he uh, screwed?
49) How is anyone expected to handle a catfight amongst 72 women?
50) Did the 9/11 hijackers who didn't know they were going to die get 72 virgins too?
51) Are scouts employed to find virgin talent?
52) Do the virgins ever retire, or do they remain virgins forever?
53) If they retire, what kind of pension plan do they get?
54) Wouldn't it be interesting if they're virgins because they're ugly?
55) So is it 72 Muslim girls or like 1 virgin from every culture?
56) Wouldn't it be sweet if Lorena Bobbit got hired as one of the virgins?
57) What does Gloria Steinem have to say about all this?
58) When he gets home, does he have to say "How was your day?" to all 72 virgins?
59) Do they have counseling for sexual addiction in paradise?
60) If the virgins start hogging the remote, is he in hell?
61) They must take up an entire theater when they go to the movies, huh?
62) Are there restaurants in paradise that can accommodate a reservation for 73?
63) If a virgin suffers from multiple personalities, is she considered two virgins?
64) Does he get all the virgins at once, or do they have an installment plan?
65) Is the bomber entitled to subsitutes, exchanges, or refunds?
66) What if all the king's horses and all the king's men can't put the bomber together again?
67) Is "not tonight, dear, I have a headache" a valid excuse in paradise?
68) Do the virgins come with a warranty?
69) If so, does paradise replace defective parts and provide on-site service?
70) What do you call a lifetime warranty if you're dead?
71) Do siamese twin bombers get 144 virgins?
72) Who gets to clean up all those nasty sheets?
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Answer 2

There are alot more Sunnis than there are Shia. And the Muslim nations (including Saudi Arabia) are coming together to talk about how to ''handle'' the Shia radicals. The day will come. Watch out.

I, personally, do think the Wahabbists are as radical in their beliefs than the Shia.....too very fundamentalists. But, the Shia in Iran and that area of the world are fanatics, with killing and conquering their countries being their goals. Muslims, Shia and Sunni, are suppose to live together----------they are of the same faith-mostly.

And, no one who commits suicide when killing innocent people is a martyr and will see Paradise. Mohammad said anyone who commits suicide will spend eternity doing the same thing over and over and over. You would like to keep blowing yourself up over and over and over? Martyrs are those who are killed by the enemy when they are in a fight. Suicide is a sin.

Ah! These radicals, as I see them, are the Shia. And, they had better start looking at the true meaning of Islam.

Answer 3

Filthy beast! Camel dung! Your heretical ways will not be tolerated any more! bin Laden and his Jihaddist martyrs are holy warriors bent upon the spread of the Holy Faith of Allah! You and your worship of Ali shall end, with your being sent to hell! It is because of you and your ilk that Islam is being coloured with defeat, and your support of the crusaders will ensure their victory.

Answer 4

Your religion is an oversimplification of the Christian doctrines and mysteries perpetrated by the false prophet Muhammad and the quran was written by a monk who met Muhammad in the desert.

Repent and belive in the gospel of Jesus who's true man and true God.
Whose mother is the mother of God, the ever blessed virgin.
He truly died on the cross for your salvation and was ressurected and Who at the end of time will come to judge the living and the dead.

Answer 5

And what if Islam is incorrect in the interpretation of scripture and Mohammad was a deranged lunatic possessed by a simple demon with an overactive imagination?

Answer 6

Oh no, another Allah loony who thinks his brand of the lunacy is better than the other brands of the lunacy. Just for something different, try making contact with reality one day and see what you've been missing.

Answer 7

Dude, it's people like you that make the world so hate filled. Why are you so closed minded? And how in the world did you get your interpretation of the Qa'ran wrong?

Answer 8

Why do people take this crap so seriously. Damn, we all die...when we die we will find out who God really is and if there is one...so until then, just get along with people and try to make the world better...and stop your damn whining!

Answer 9

I understand that the religion of the Muslim is that of "peace" . Though many dont pratice it. instead they murder innocent children and women. They are cowards that will hide their faces from the one true God in Heaven. May we all pray for "God " to grant us all peace and to "have here as it is in Heaven" .He will judge the wicked .

Answer 10

I think I'm the only person here who gets that you're making a joke. Good job.