The funniest takes ten! What is your best blonde joke ever???

Question

No offense to any blondes, i have blonde in my hair, too. But blone jokes are HILARIOUSE!

Answer 1

BTW I am a blonde too, and I find these hilarious..


Joke 1

A blonde is driving down the road one day, when off to the right in a field she sees another blonde, sitting in a rowboat (on dry land) attempting to row across without any effect.

Enraged she pulls the car over, jumps out and shouts across the field, "You make me sick! You're the reason why blonde's get the rep of being dumb all the time. If I could swim, I'd go out there and kick your butt!"


Joke 2

A blond, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops. They duck into an alley where they see three potato sacks lying next to a trash can. Thinking quickly they each jump into a sack and pull it over their heads just as the police are rounding the corner. The officers walk up to the sacks and kick the first one that contains the red head. "meow, meow" she says

"Oh its just a cat" the cop says.

They then go over to the next sack, which the brunette is hiding is and kick it. "woof, woof" says the brunette.

"Oh its just a dog" the cops decide.

Finally they make their way over to the final sack, where the Blondie is hiding and nudge it with their foot and the blonde says "Po-ta-to..."


I have more, but I don't want to type them up right now...

Answer 2

Once upon a time there was a magic mirror that could tell
when you were lying. If you were, ZAP! it would suck you
in and you were gone forever.

One day, an old lady, a brunette, and a blonde happened by
the mirror. The old lady looked in it and said, "I think I'm
the most beautiful woman in the world." ZAP! The mirror
sucked her in and she was gone.


The brunette looked in and said, "I think I'm the most
beautiful woman in the world." ZAP! The mirror sucked her in
and she, too, disappeared.


The blonde looked in and said, "I think. . ."


ZAP!

________________________________________


One day while on patrol a police officer pulled over a car
for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to
roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the
nice red sports car was how hot the driver was! Drop dead
blonde the works. "I've pulled you over for speeding
ma'me.....could I see your drivers license...? "...Whats a
license...???" replied the blonde. instantly giving away the
fact that she was as a stump. Its usually in your wallet...
replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes the
driver managed to find it. Now may I see your registration!!!
Asked the cop. Registration....whats that...?asked the
blonde. Its usually in your glove compartment said the cop
impatiently after some more fumbling she found the
registration. Ill be back in a minute.. the cop said and
walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch
to run a check on the womans license and registration. After
a few moments the dispatcher came back. Ummm is this woman
driving a red sports car. Yes....Replied the officer. Is she
a drop dead gorgeous blonde? asked the dispatcher. Uh...Yes
replied the cop. Heres what you do.....said the
dispatcher.Give her stuff back and drop your pants.
WHAT!!!?Icant do that. Its ........inappropriate..exclaimed
the cop. Trust me....Just do it..said the dispatcher. So the
cop goes back to the car gives back the license and
registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher
said. The blonde looks down and sighs..... Ohh no......not
ANOTHER breathalyzer....

Answer 3

Okay a read head a brunette and a blonde are kidnapped by a mob.their hands r tied and they are put on their knees. A gunman comes up and points the gun at the brunettes head and asks do you have any last words, no says the brunette so the gunman says ready, aim, the bruenette suddenly yells TORNADO!!! spooking the gunman long enough so she could get away. So the gunman goes over the the read head and asks the same question do you have any last words, the read head says no, so the gunman goes ready, aim. . the read head suddenly yells EARTHQUAKE!!!! spooking the gunman yet again and she is able to get away by then the blonde seeing what the other two had done is up next, the gunman goes to her and asks her do you have any last words, she says no the gunman goes ready, aim, the blonde yells FIRE!!!

Answer 4

A Russian, an American, and a blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "So? We were the first on the moon!"
The blonde said, "Who cares? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other, and shook their heads. The Russian said, "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'd burn up!"
The blonde said, "We're not STUPID, you know! We're going at night!"

Once there was a blonde. She had read about ice-fishing, and decided she wanted to try it, so she went to the ice and began cutting a hole.
Then, a huge voice said, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
So the blonde moved over and began cutting a new hole.
The voice came again. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The poor girl tried one more time to cut her hole, when the voice came again. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!"
She turned her head upward and said, "Lord? Is that you?"
The voice said, "No, it's the manager of the ice rink."

Answer 5

try this:-
Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third grade
Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

Answer 6

Who finds the blonde jokes the funniest?

A blonde girl

Answer 7

A blond is in Dallas and will board a plane to New York. She boards the plane with a ticket for coach but sees first class and wants to stay there. An attendant stops her from getting there and says, "your ticket says coach, you can't go to first class."

She says no, i want to go to new york first class.

So then the attendant grabs an officer on board and tells him that the blond won't move to coach. So the officer tries to tell her to move but the blond keeps saying," I'm flying to New York first class!"

Finally, the officer tells the pilot about the situation and the pilot gets an idea. He whispers something in the blonde's ear and she moves to coach.

The attendant is shocked and wonders how he moved her.

The pilot replies," I told her first class wasn't going to New York."

Answer 8

"Microwave"

There is a blonde, she wants to buy a microwave. So she goes in and
askes the salesclerk, "How much for that microwave?"

The salesclerk replies, "We don't sell Microwaves to blondes."

So the next day she dyes her hair red, and goes in and asks the same
question. The salesclerk answers, "we don't sell microwaves to
blondes."

So the next day she dyes her hair brunette and goes and asks the same
question. The salesclerk replies the same way.

The blonde asks how he knows she is a blonde. The clerk says, "That
isn't a microwave it's a TV."

Answer 9

How do you drown a Blonde? Put scratch and sniff perfume at the bottom of a pool!

Answer 10

a blonde and her kids were going to disneyland. the blonde was driving. she saw a sign said "disneyland left" so the blonde went back home lol