hello feel crap for asking this feel like a terrible big sister..... my little brother moved into our one bedroom flat over 7wks ago moved in with me and my husband (were just married 7 wks ago) he had brought trouble to our door a couple of times and rang us 4 help because he has been fighting last night it was a family engagement party and he got blocked, embarrased me nearly smashed cups and all ive ended up digging him in the face then he nearly started a fight with another guest at party. He shows me nor my husband any respect hes selfish............Wot should we do?
2006-09-02 23:49:10 · 34 answers · asked by Angela 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
How old ? are we talking child, youth, man ??
2006-09-02 23:51:08 · answer #1 · answered by pat.rob00 Chef U.K. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know some friends that have the same issue as you. The only thing you can do is to be hard. And ask him to move out and get a place. You don't mention his age if he is over 18 he is a responsible adult. He is not your responsibility any more. You will find that if he stays there will be more trouble and might even try and split you and your husband up. A destructive force is no good for you. You are trying to build a life for yourself why allow someone to spoil that for you. A little kindness wont help this person because all they think about is just taking, taking, taking. There is no regard for you. If he is a nice brother why is he moved into your one bedroom flat. He seems a really selfish person to me and you could do without him. Give him a deadline date. And if he hasn't found anything buy then or refuses to move or gives you yet more excuses. Just wait for him to leave the flat and while he is away grab his stuff and throw it outside if he starts banging the door inform the police this is the only way to deal with these people belive me.You have to be cruel to be kind. Forget family when somebody is like that they are not family good luck and take care.
2006-09-03 00:44:14 · answer #2 · answered by nicecupofteanicecupofcoffee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well one thing is for sure, if you carry on letting him live with you, your marriage will be a disaster. Your husband is great for allowing this in the first place but enough is simply enough and you simply have to let him go ...... give him notice ... on month ... and make an appointment with the local council to see a homeless persons officer on the basis that you have given him written notice and they must now provide him with emergency accommodation. You have to be cruel here otherwise it will destroy you all. Your brother will change for the better but not overnight! You cannot carry him anymore and just tell him ....
2006-09-03 00:00:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can I suggest that when you married your brother was not part of the package. And when you married, you committed to eachother. It must be miserable.
Regardless of his behaviour, your flat is too small and you need privacy. Explain if you can and give him a set time to find his own place/make own arrangements. This is not selfish. Just reasonable.
2006-09-03 00:09:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a time limit say 2-4 weeks and tell him you want him out by then as you need your space your be amazed how many people will put him up and to be fair its not going to make your marriage any easier with him around when hes gone you and your hubby can relax and run round naked!
2006-09-02 23:57:01 · answer #5 · answered by ms_j_uk12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me as if your brother has problems. Why is he behaving like this? Personally, I would tell him to sort him self out and find somewhere else to live. Behaviour like that is unacceptable especially when its coming 'home' with him...to YOUR home, not his. You and your new husband need this time together as a new couple and not have to worry about what your brother is going to get up to next
good luck
2006-09-03 00:03:07 · answer #6 · answered by Snuffy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your home...lay down the house rules, have him agree to them and the penalties attached to them....make the panties painful and humiliating....he's acting like a child so treat him like one....introduce the cane and corner time.....6 swats on the bare with one hour corner time in front of your husband or anyone else who is in the house at the time is a good deterrent.
2006-09-03 01:00:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi this sounds interesting. All conflict arises from individuals not being able to communicate effectively. If you would like some genuine assistance on this please email me. I am a certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Life Coach. please answer the following questions when you reply.
How old is your brother?
How would you describe your relationship with your brother when you were growing up?
When this problem was to disappear, how would you know this?
Describe respect.
I look forward to hearing from you.
2006-09-02 23:58:55 · answer #8 · answered by budhha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with him and talk to him abot what he's doing and why he is doing it, and make him realise that that behaviour is not acceptable. And sad to say but if the behaviour doesnt stop you are going to have to tell him to find somewhere else... Good luck!
2006-09-03 01:10:52 · answer #9 · answered by buttafly_biattch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't cope, and he refuses to respect or appreciate you for what you're doing to help him, kick him out. He obviously doesn't care how he's affecting your lives or putting you at risk of harm from the trouble he's bringing.
2006-09-02 23:56:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you have a problem on your hands. A lot more info is required before hazarding a solution
2006-09-03 02:26:34 · answer #11 · answered by oldbutwise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋