Any kool jokes any one has seen on tha net, movies Picture Ect............?

Question

Make ME Laugh Ma Yahoo peps

Answer 1

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I was such an ugly baby ... my mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

I'm so ugly ... my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could ... but he pulled through."

Answer 2

This rich lady got very angry at her French maid. After a long list of stinging remarks about her shortcomings as a cook and housekeeper, she dismissed the maid.
The maid, with her Gallic ancestry, couldn't allow such abuse to go unanswered.
"Your husband concedes me a better housekeeper and cook than you, Madam. He has told me himself."
The lady just scowled and said nothing.
"And furthermore," the angry maid continued, "I am better in bed than you!"
"And I suppose my husband told you that, too?"
"No, Madam," said the maid. "The chauffeur told me that!"
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Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap

Answer 3

Qn : Why do zebras like old movies?
Ans : Because they're in black and white!