2006-09-02 22:52:14 · 29 answers · asked by J. S. 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes...
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes...
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp...
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/entertain...
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jok...
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/...
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.ht...
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm...
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index...
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
get your laughing gear round these beauties
2006-09-03 10:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
An attractive and overtly vain young woman was at work on day when she happened to overhear some of male coworkers gossiping ...
They were whispering that ,while they all agreed that 'she' was a knockout, there was something left to be desired in the 'breast department'.
Convinced that they could only be talking about her, she decided to remedy this flaw a.s.a.p. and, looking in the Yellow Pages under 'Breast Enhancement' found the number of a Dr. Mulrooney, called, and made an appointment for that very afternoon.
When she arrived at the Doctor's offices, she was intrigued by a sign that said "Non Invasive Augmentations" ... and asked the doctor how it was possible to enlarge her breasts without any sort of surgical procedure.
He instructed her to remove her blouse, and handed her a sheet of paper.
"Now", he said, "I want you to rub your nipples and read this aloud, three times."
Feeling silly, but bolstered by the doctor's encouraging nods, she did as she was told ... rubbing her nipples and reading out loud, "Scooby-doobies, Ooby-doobies, I would like some bigger boobies." Blushingly, she repeated the phrase two more times.
The doctor then told her to get dressed, go back to work, and come back at the same time the following day.
Confused, but willing to give it a chance, she went back to work and was quite astonished that by the time she was boarding the elevator she could sense a tugging stress at the buttons of her blouse !
Elated, but fearing that her newfound bosom might be only a temporary fix, she decided to do a little maintainence ...
Making certain to be the last to get on the lift, she turned her back to the others, began to discreetly rub her nipples, and chant under her breath, "Scooby-doobies, Oobie-doobies ..."
After a moment, a fellow behind her leaned forward and quietly said,
"Excuse me ... you must be patient of Dr. Mulroony's."
"Uh ... well, yes, I am ... but how on earth would you know that !?"
The man then turned toward her, and whispered in her ear ...
"Hickory-dickory- doc ..."
2006-09-03 12:52:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why is sex like riding a bike?
you have to keep pumping if you wanna get any ware
what do a rubix cube and a penis have in common?
the longer you play with them,the harder they get
whats the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
you can bung your load in a washing machine and it wont call you a week later
have you heard about the super sensitive condoms?
they hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman
how do you know when your getting old?
when you start having dry dreams and wet farts
what does parsley and pubic hair have in common?
they both get pushed aside before you carry on eat ting
2006-09-06 15:34:48 · answer #3 · answered by beckybarmey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
2006-09-03 13:21:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"? About three inches.
What's white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall? George Michael's latest release.
2006-09-03 06:59:42 · answer #5 · answered by shoosh_b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did god create the female 0rgasm? So a woman can have somethin to moan about even when theyre enjoyin themselves
2006-09-03 11:49:47 · answer #6 · answered by bekkij37 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok Little Johnny saw his mom get out of the shower and he pointed at her crotch and said, "What's that?"
His mom stuttered and answered "That's mommy's black sponge" Johnny was content w/ this answer so he went on his way.
The next day Johnny asked his mom "What happened to your black sponge I looked everywhere for it."
His mom was taken aback before answering "Oh mommy lost it."
A few days later Johnny went back to his mom and said "Mommy, I found your black sponge, it's at MIss Johnson's house, and Daddy is washing his face in it."
2006-09-03 05:57:12 · answer #7 · answered by LalaLola 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Johnny's walking to school with his mom, when they see 2 dogs having sex. "What are those dogs doing?", asks Johnny. "Making a puppy", replies his mom. He's satisfid with his answer, so continues to school.
Later he walks into his parents room while they are having sex. "What are you doing Dad?", asks Johnny. "We're making a baby son", he replies.
Johnny replies, "Can you turn her over? I want a puppy!"
2006-09-03 06:19:42 · answer #8 · answered by David S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a couple:
Girl to boy: "Can I see you for a sec?"
Boy to girl: "You can see me for all the secs you want!"
Q: Why does a monk wear shorts in the bath?
A: He does not want to look down on the unemployed!
2006-09-05 05:09:28 · answer #9 · answered by Phil P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In Ireland we have tea at sex
2006-09-03 05:56:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's this teacher who asks a question to her 3 students Mark, John and Shawn. Teachers says: " Mark, suppose ur having dinner with your date and sudddenly u really have to go to the toilet, how would you tell this to ur date? Mark replies: 'That's easy, I'd tell her, Excuse me, but I really have to piss!' "No" the teacher replies, that's very rude! John how abut u? John goes: " Pls excuse me but I need to go to the toilet", teacher says, much better but still not very polite. How abut u Shawn? Shawn replies " Excuse me but I have to shake hands with a very good friend of mine whom I hope u'll get to meet after dinner!"
2006-09-03 05:55:51 · answer #11 · answered by bchboy_998 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋