Umm, this is kind of an awkward question...?

Question

I know that for GUYS it's perfectly fine to look at porn blah blah blah, but just a while ago I heard suggestive noises coming from the computer room in my house, so I walked in thinking it was my dumbass brother turning up his porn but instead it was my cousin who is 13. She appeared to be doing something to herself and well I was mortified. (Cause it's illegal as well as embarassing). So she quickly explained and got the hell out, and I saw that there were a whole bunch of Adult websites in the history. I know that she had been spending late nights in the computer room, but I always assumed that she was Myspacing or something. I'm worried about this not because she's um touching herself but more like because this behavior had become somewhat of a habit for her. How can I SUBTLELY stop this.

Eheheh -_-', since the moment of my birth my parents told me that if you look at porn before the age of eighteen it's illegal.

Answer 1

Don't allow her to be on the computer, When you go to bed or leave her alone, unhook the keyboard, or unplug the computer and store it away. If you don't want to do that, then get a parental control program and block those sites. You should also tell her parents what she was doing.

Answer 2

Well, firstly, let me just say that although it was awkward for you, it was probably REALLY awkward for her. I thinkk that even if you find it gross, it's better that she's masterbating than physically having sex. Maybe her fascination with porn has been more of a curiosity about sex. Has anyone openly talked to her about it? Sex is just labeled "forbidden" and made to seem taboo to a 13-year-old. This automatically leads to a disturbing fascination. I would say to you that it's time to do a few things: 1. Stop lying to her about things. Just be open and honest about what's going on. If it doesn't come from you or some place reliable, she'll end up receiving misguided information and traveling down a scarier path. 2. Monitor what she's doing more often. Try parental locks or just popping in to see what's happening. Check temporary internet files if you have to. But show her that you're there, you care, and you will be on her case and in her face. She will be more reluctant to stop. 3. Be consistent! Think about setting up an environment where she can talk to you about her feelings/thoughts ore often, but if you're going to do that, don't freak out! The more open communication, the more you learn about the situation and the easier it is to remedy your problem. I hope this has been some help to you!

Answer 3

I admit I may be a bit too open (and I'm a man, as you can notice), but why should she be forbidden to look at whatever she wants? She is in an age where she should discover the power of sex, and massive pornography is one of the expressions of that power.

Why should she be forbidden to touch herself? Masturbation indicates a healthy sexual behavior, where the person releases his or her repressions. Don't worry about it. Her uses will evolve, and if she discovers that you're chasing her down or something, she will have latter problems for she will see some parts of her sexuality repressed for no reason. The awkward thing is to be pursued.

Another thing is if it's illegal or not. I live in a country where it's illegal to drink and smoke until you're 18 and the average starting age for those activites is 13 and 11 respectively. Don't take laws seriously, if you don't want to get paranoid.

Good luck for you both!

Answer 4

You can't "Subtlely stop" her. She is 13 and having all kinds of emotions and its normal for 13 year olds to masterbate. (yes even for the females) However I would say its time for someone to talk to her about sex, you dont want her getting the wrong ideals from them porn sites.
You also may want to explain the laws to her about minors viewing porn. Maybe you should block porn sites from the computer. Let her know its normal to have the feelings she is having and its also normal to masterbate but its not ok for a 13 year old to veiw porn.
Your parents did NOT lie to you about that....Go to any porn site and it clearly states if your not 18 and in some states 21 please leave. It is against the law for a minor to view porn. However they arent going to do anything to her for it. Unless she is looking up kiddy porn and someone reports it then they can take your computer and charge the adults for it.

Answer 5

I don't have much more to add to what has been said, I just feel the need to try and say one thing in general.

Regardless of gender, Porn should not be okay. I don't know how many guys, beyond myself will testify to this, but it is more addicting then almost any drug out there. In addition to that, it's a D*MN good way to ruin a relationship/marriage FAST!

Answer 6

Masterbating is illegal? Oh God I am going to be in prison for a long long time...lol. I am not sure what to say. I would sit her down and talk to her. This is pretty natural and she should be told that she should not be ashamed of this. I remember when my parents first caught me with the girlie mags and they stayed hushed hushed and missed the oppurtunity to talk to me about sex. So instead, I learned it like most kids do, from magezines, internet and friends.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

Install Net Nanny for your computer. Tell her parents to install it as well (if she lives somewhere else). Keep the computer in the living room.

Alternately you could install one of those keystroke recording programs, see where she goes ( and if she has a myspace) then embarrass the living crap out of her by posting messages in her blog/myspace as well as anywhere she has left a message. Talking to her is probably better than alienating her, but its not quite as amusing.

Answer 9

What the other answerers said, plus talk to her about it. Try to make it so that it's not awkward and help her feel less embarassed. There might be a reason she's isolating herself and forming this habit.

Answer 10

Get the computer out of that room and into a less "private" room in the house. Don't allow her to use the computer.