question about my poor cat help will be well appreciated and will give 10pts to most helpful answer!?

Question

i have 5 cats 1 female (mom of the 4) and 4 males they are all neutered males 1yrs old had them since day of birth.1 of my boys is very timid and skiddish torwards his litter mates and lives on top of my fridge.he will not even get down to go potty instead he will urinate on the fridge until im available to bring him to litter box.i feed him up there and water bowl up there too..unfortunitly i will not put a litter box on top my fridge..Am i inabiling his behavior? should i stop feeding him up there so he will be forced to get down to mingle with the others? i just cant keep seeing him living like this..and theres no reason his sibling love him! we all do but this is what he wants..does anybody know how i can make him included in our rather large family? i mean this all started because b4 the boys were neutered they would pick on him alot..but since then about 2 weeks now they dont want to hurt him anymore..please give me tips if for sum reason theres not enuff info pls email me! ty

thank you all so very much for you positive help with this..its going to be definitly hard to pick a best answer because theyre all awsome! however i want to comment on the few that mencioned maybe anothier home would be better where he was the only cat..maybe this is true..but these cats are like my children..and we would not do this to our human kids right? so he will need to remain here maybe i am being selfish but im also protecting him from potencial abuse..i mean not many could put up with the things he does..he has alot of behavioral problems more then i could ever list in this 1 little 1000 character word paragraph..but lets just say not many would want him if i explained his true personality..im doing this cat a favor and he will never know how lucky he is to not be starving,homeless,and abused..i think like 1 of you mencioned theres medication 4 this and if all else fails he will b living in my bedroom.he loves humans its just one of his big brothers he fears & take time2vote

Answer 1

Keep all your children(cats). Give the scared one privet place in house in a room the others are never to get near him. When he realizes in a few days that they can not get to him. He`ll show growing signs of calmness. Then maybe month or more when he seems totally relaxed and contented, let him see one of his brothers with them in a Carrier in his room. If he gets real scared, remove brother and try in a couple days same. Bring treats scared one likes each time giving or leaving for him when you bring in brother. He will identify treats he likes with one of his brothers being brought in each time. When he is calm and use to one, bring a different one.This way they all get reacquainted and the scared brother feels save with them in a carrier. 6 months to 1 year possiable for trust. Then you`ll be able try them out of carrier. When all goes well leave door to room open for no longer scared one to come out on his own. Do not make him leave safe room. Let him do so when and if he does. Your explanation does appear he is scared of brothers. Give him lots of love and never get upset at him for this or you`ll cause it to get worse. And please when he has his own safe space, concetrate on equal to more attention for him, because, if he feels forgoten and put to the side, he will have emotional problems still, because of how he already is. Spend time with him, hours if possiable, when he first gets is safe room. But It would be best to rule out a health problem by having him checked by vet. Many health problems can cause this action and worse. As soon as you can, get no less than six full size cat boxes. Now that there adults get Dr.Elsieys scoopable cat litter. Never scoopable for kittens. Pets mart has it, were i get it. If a cat doesn`t like litter feel on feet or for any reason they go else were. Thats not you situation. Just wanted to let others know. Please,do not give me points for this, I answered to help one of, all cats I Love.

Answer 2

1) Cats are not human children
2) sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
You have too many cats. However much room it is, it is not enough room for 5 cats. That's what they are trying to tell you. They are cats so they are doing it in a crude way by trying to drive the least liked member of the clowder out. What else could they do? Sign a petition?
As hard as it may seem the pariah cat must be found a new home where he can be the only cat.
When he gets to this new home he might need a course of kitty anti anxiety medication and some tender loving care by his new people. Maybe you can visit him.
I am sorry to be blunt. But sometimes we can be so sentimental about animals that we forget they are animals. Most cats don't live with their mothers and litter mates all there lives. Love sometimes means sacrifices. If this kitty would be happier living with a new family than shaking from fear on top of the refridg. You must buck up and do the right thing.

Answer 3

We have done rescue of cats for over 8 years and have run into this with a few cats. They dont hide on top of the fridge, but seem to more go towards the top of the closet.

Here are some tips: First , You need to get him off the fridge. Bring him into a spare room if you have one where none of the other cats are allowed. Close the door if you have to. For some reason, even though he is used to the other cats, He isnt happy with the situation and is doing what he can to be away from it. Keep him in the spare room and do your visiting time in there free of the other cats. Not only is there the risk of injury if left on top of the fridge, but keeping him up there will only help keep this problem going.
You may have to keep him seperated a few weeks even a few months to get this problem under control. Lots of time and patience are going to be needed here to help gain his trust and for him to feel comfortable.

Lastly, If all else fails and he still isnt comfortable. You may want to consider finding a good friend who could home him. I know how you say cats are like your children, as my cats are the same way. But you also have to consider that he is unhappy right now, and if it means taking him to a household with no other animals, wouldnt you want to see him happy?

Answer 4

Time for kitty to be a big boy and since the others will not hurt him go ahead and block off your fridge and other high places so he does not fall or poop in wrong places. I would also not force them to be together but maybe in a small room put him and one other cat in the same room and let them mingle on their own. Then try him with each cat individually, then try two cats, then three, then all of them in a small room. Do this gradually and make sure in the small room the kitties have food, water and a litter box. Also you do not want to keep the cat in a small room all the time. Good luck he will come around eventually.

Oh yeah also put their food bowls by each other but not against the wall. The cats will be more relaxed if they can see around them while eating. I have 3 cats, one timid, one lazy and one crabby. They all came to be happy together.

Answer 5

Take him off the fridge and put stuff up there so he can't get up there not behind it. Yes, he is a very scardy cat or ill. I would check with vet to make sure he is healthy and not afraid of being injured more than he is, Some cats have suffered broken ribs or hurt stomachs and are too afraid of getting worse. Check it out, if all is good, I would search carefuly for the right home for him. A very quiet home, no kids, other pets, no partyers, etc. Indoor cat only for sure.If he is urinating up there, he may be ill for sure. he can't belong in a home with other cats when you find him a home. But he must get off that fridge and watch for areas that he will go and hide, make sure that her can't get into dangerous spots and he will try to be illusive. He may even try to get out and run away. Get him to the vet. Some vets know people that lost their cat and would be a perfect match for your cat. Gotta do what is best for both of you. I bet he is suffering somehow that a soimple medication could fix. P.S. don't listen to that idiot that sugested pepper up there, this is harmful to your cat and could be very miserable and cause so much irration i the eyes, body, mouth, and genitals too. Don't do anything like that. It is creul. I know you won't.

Answer 6

I feel your not helping him with his behavior by catering to him like that please stop that first. If you can go to your local pet store like a Pet Smarts and they do have cat cages that you can put a litter box and a place to hang his food & water there too. This will first get him off your fridge (that can be a health problem for u & your family most of all)
This will also help him feel safe and can get him started toget relax and u dont have to catter on the fridge. Ask your vet your cat may have anxiety issues which medication can help. But first I can't stress this enough stop the top of the fridge it is harmful for u and really the cat as well....
Keep the kids away from the cat this sounds to me the cat has been messed with too much by them. I'm sure the kids mean no harm but it sounds like it's already been done & your kitty is stress out....You may considder to place the kitty a new home maybe a home where he is the ONLY cat and maybe with No kids....
Animals do change as they grow up and as well after being fix....
Best of luck dear...

Answer 7

I would suggest trying to force him to come down-- put stuff up there so that he can't get up there anymore or spray him with water so that he knows it's a bad idea to be up there.. Maybe try to have one on one time with him by locking the others up and maybe only bringing one out at a time.. it may be only one cat picking on him, try to find out which cat is the problem makes/bully. Then when you can figure that out keep a water bottle on hand at all times and hen the bully starts picking on the scared one then spray him.. This will make him realise that it is not OK and that you are the only leader in the home.. If all that fails then i would suggest re-homing one of the cats.. Probably the scared one.. He may be happier with somebody that doesn't have any other cats.. He will settle in quickly and hopefully be much more relaxed without the other cats..

Answer 8

This is what I would try, get a box with a lid. Prepare a nice little bed in the box, with an old piece of my own clothes, take the cat off the fridge and put it in the box. I would put the box in a room that the other animals don't go into. Set up the kitty litter and food in the room and leave it be.
Let it get used to that, once it starts coming out of the box on its own, I would let it start with the other animals again.

Answer 9

This cat is obviously anxious about the others cause he remembers how they treated him, he is not sure of himself and if you make it more comfortable for him to live on the fridge he will. Don't try to force him to feed with the others cause cats can be stubborn enough to starve themselves before doing what they are supposed to. Instead of isolating him and making him even more unsociable, buy him a pet taxi and keep it comfy for him, make it his special place where if it gets to tense for him he can retreat to. Start out by putting it on the fridge and putting his food and water in it...remove the door so he wont feel imprisoned, after wards bring it down and scrub down the fridge with some lemon so it will no longer smell familiar to him, this way his cozy taxi will be his last retreat, place the taxi close to where the cats are and move it closer little by little, eventually take out his food and move it further and further from his taxi but closer to the other cats, if he freaks don't try and comfort him cause your reinforcing his behavior. Do this and be patient and he should get better if not sadly he would be better off in a household where he is the only baby.

Answer 10

I think you may be enabling him to a degree, but I think the cat will probably jump back up there as soon as he's finished. I would try and make some time with just you and him, to help him build his confidence. Cats usually need loads of time to change their behaviour, but I think if you put the food close to but not on top of the fridge, and pat him while he's eating it will offer him comfort. Then over a week or so, slowly move his food further and further away from the fridge. This way you are encouraging him out of his comfort zone a step at a time. He will probably still seek out the fridge for refuge, but as long as he's not up there all the time.

Answer 11

Such impressive answers! Everyone's put so much thought into this.

When you have such a situation, it is obvious the cat is very frightened and unhappy. This will take time and patience to change. There are several things I would try - if one doesn't work, surely another will.

I would take the cat into my own bedroom (shutting others out if necessary), along with food, water and the litter box. In addition to have you to cuddle with at night, pay as much attention to him individually as possible until he feels "safe" and comfortable. Gradually introduce the others one by one. In an ideal world I would suggest that others be allowed to sniff through the door when it's cracked open, just to get aquainted, but with him knowing he is still safe. He may become more curious to rediscover the others. Or, you may figure out if it is just one cat that is picking on him, and deal with it that way.

Ultimately, the goal is for everyone to get along, of course.

If it's of any comfort, we raise & show Ragdolls & have occassionally taken in other's cats (a friend of mine died & I ended up with her Ragdolls too). Especially in one case, one of those cats was just totally whomped by *everyone* - talk about Omega! She was the sweetest, most lovely kitty; she was not only appreciated for herself, but also because my friend had bought her especially for my male. There was so much sentimental value. But it was either keep her miserable and locked up, or find a very special home for her. Tearfully, we did the latter, placing her with a kitten so SHE would be the Alpha cat. She is exactly that, now. The family adores them both, and QP is finally happy again, receiving well-deserved spoiling. :-)

Point being: If we really love the cat and have it's best welfare in mind, sometimes another home could be a happier place for them... :-(

Good Luck sweetie! Your kitties are lucky to have found such a caring home.