hi i come from a strict family. They are constantly trying to take control of my life and use emotional blackmail if i don;t do what they want or say. for example, i am not muslim or hindu, so don't have to have an arranged marriage. but last year they forced me to meet up with a girl they want me to get to know and eventually marry. and said if i didn't do it, they will disown me from the family. also said that if a particular elderly family member dies and i don't get married before then, they will have nothing to do with me. what do u think i should do? i am a grown adult and live at home, work and also don't have freedom to do things. if i defy them, they then get very controlling and aggressive (not violent tho). i feel trapped, no one understands what i'm going through. it makes me stressed.
2006-09-02 20:04:57 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you are a grown adult... move out and live your own life...
2006-09-02 20:08:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to stand up for yourself, and stand up to them. If you are over 18, you are considered to be an adult. Find your own place, that is safe and affordable, and learn to live your own life. Total strangers in the street will treat you better than your family is treating you. Do you want to be bossed around all your life? I would make sure that I worked hard to be even more successful than I ever planned on. Parents do not have the right to force their children to marry anyone in this day and age. Are you kidding? This is foolishness. Stand up for yourself, or you will still be being bossed around when you are thirty, forty whatever. Don't even tell them that you are moving out, find a place....do not tell them where it is until you have been moved out for a few months, so that they will not show up on your doorstep and threaten you with all this crap. Stand on your own two feet and make your own choices. Be a man and live your life! Good luck and have a good night!
2006-09-02 20:19:24 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No family should tell you who to meet and marry..Yes I know it's the culture but it is wrong.....It can't end up a healthy relationship ...You should be able to pick and choose who you want and your family should accept it...I doubt you will ever change the way they feel..but you can't be dictated to....This is a free country where we have choice to do with our lives as we see fit....You are right I don't know exactly what you are going thru but I can understand that it bothers you and you have every right to be stressed...I don't see where living with and being married to someone who you don't love is the right thing...Good Luck and I hope you can figure this out
2006-09-02 21:05:56 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your problem is that you don't yet have family of your own. And you are depending on your relatives for family relationships and emotional support.
I suggest that you find a woman to your liking, marry her, and have a family of your own where you will be in control. And if your other relatives decide to disown you, then so be it. You'll have a family of your own. And you won't need them or their dictatorial relationships.
2006-09-02 20:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the answer to that depends on you. I mean you are an adult you should be alvle to make your own decisions. If you think that you can find a girl for youself and marry her go ahead. If you by any chance like the girl your parents are trying to hook you up with don't reject her just because your parents tried to get you guys together, if you happen to like her then concider. It all depends on you. If you think that you are not ready for commitment then they will just have to deal with it. It's your life and you should live it as you please in your own way. They lived theirs now it's your turn, we have only one life live it to the fullest ;)
Take care.
2006-09-02 20:18:31 · answer #5 · answered by 4eva-pink 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your parent maybe afraid of losing their "baby". you got to leave the nest. they have to come to term with it. you need to lead your own life. marry the lady they choose for you mean they are still in charge after you are married. if they truly love u, they should set you free & trust you will be willing to come back & visit. they wouldn't disown you if they really love you. My mum try to pull that one on me but after 12 yrs of marriage today with a wife of my choosing & a 5 yrs daughter , we just went with my parent for dinner last friday. no probelm. be BRAVE & peace , man.
ps i happen to be a christian, so i pray like crazy those times.
2006-09-02 20:49:09 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Order this book or get it at your local bookstore: "Toxic Parents" by Dr. Susan Forward. It is a wonderful book. You deserve to be treated well in life.
2006-09-02 20:23:47 · answer #7 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-01 06:09:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey yeah your an aldult so you can make decisions for your self but once your making a decision do it for u not for any one else ask your self is that what i really want not anyone else their not going to live it u are do it for you.Are you going to be truly happy doing that?Trust your self its your life they only live in it you live it do it for u.
2006-09-02 20:42:29 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lot of times
2006-09-02 20:11:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋