Ok my son is ten I hate to say this but he is a wuss, I know it's mean but he lets everyone beat up on him and he doesn't do anything about it. I don't cundon getting into fights but I tell him if someone hits you fist the hit them back and make it hurt then they'll leave you alone he won't do that because he is to scared to. I tried to get him into classed like ty kwon do and stuff like that I even offered my husband even offered to join with him. How do I get him to stand up for him self. I don't want him being the one always getting made fun of or beat up all the times. We even tried sports and other activities but nothing works. Can it be that I raised him as a single parent untill he was five or is it just who he is.
2006-09-02 19:58:42 · 20 answers · asked by I wish I wish 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
He's a great kid and makes friends easely but their are alot of bullies in middle and high school and I want him to be prepared for it.
2006-09-02 19:59:55 · update #1
I don't mean wuss in a bad way maybe I should have said more sensitive than others sorry, I really love my son I just hate to see him get hurt almost everyother day, I don't want him to hurt anyone I want him to be able to stand and hold his ground. I was raised with all boys fights were common between all of us I even join into the fights I got my butt beat alot I am just not sure on how to handle a more sensitive child.
2006-09-02 20:24:00 · update #2
This is a difficult question.Your son is so timid.
You must find a way to cure this.
Example: Take him to public park, take him to sports ground.
Convince him to join them.
Try to talk to other child whom bully your son.
Just make him know that: He can do everything !!!
Sorry for my poor english !!!
2006-09-02 20:09:06 · answer #1 · answered by ?B?ch Vân Phi - Huckleberry Finn? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My daughter was quite passive in the same way, and I was also concerned. I always told her to never start a fight, but to do anything she had to in order to defend herself; and I also showed her a male's sensitive spot, along with a couple other techniques. Although I didn't think it phased her, she was apparently absorbing all of the information, as time later proved.
Your son apparently doesn't feel the need to defend himself just yet; but when that time comes, just make sure he knows what to do for self-defense. After all, he can't have his parents following him around all the time... that will only make things worse.
Sometimes it's not all physical, but psychologically knowing how to handle situations also. Perhaps he would feel a bit more comfortable knowing how to handle it psychologically (at a 10 year old level, obviously). Would the school counselor be able to help out?
"Listening" is a key word in getting any issues resolved, as is his own timing. Once he feels he's had enough abuse, he'll eventually defend himself, as long as you allow him the independence to do so.
Good luck!
2006-09-03 05:21:37 · answer #2 · answered by ♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered having him talk to a counselor? If his being timid is causing problems for him and he won't talk to you about it, and resists trying other things maybe that would help you to understand. They can sometimes give you a perspective you wouldn't normally have.
I have a son at the opposite end of the spectrum. (he is 4) He is strong-willed, and defiant. He doesn't care what anyone says or thinks. He stands up to people to a fault. (never been physical with anyone always verbal, I am afraid with age he will become more physical.) I have tried to figure out the reasons on my own, and have had no luck. I enrolled him in counseling a few weeks ago. I'm not sure it is helping him yet. Some days I think so others not. I guess it is a wait and see kind of thing.
You wish your son would stand up for himself more and be more assertive....I wish mine was more timid and more sensitive.
2006-09-03 03:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by mrsjav 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is not a lot you can do. Just continue to tell him to stand up for himself. Act out situations and how he can react so he can do it without having to think "how do i deal with this". Karate is a good idea so he can defend himself. Single parent has nothing to do with it. My son is raised by me and he comes to the aid of those in trouble and will pull the bully off his friends. Mind you if he gets beaten up it doesn't worry him as much as someone hurting his feelings. Just keep being there for him but if he comes home with bruises or is withdrawing it is time to step in and talk to the school
2006-09-03 05:59:06 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boys have to face some tough choices or fights. Ask him to talk to about it when he feels a need too. If he up against a bigger boy maybe ask him in a funny way, Yeah maybe should walk with (your son's even bigger) buddy. Maybe he like to show this other kid what's up
I ran with up to three friends as a pack and sometimes that wasn't good enough
If he's in a tough sitsuation, he might need a not so parental decision. A learning decision
Good luck, live long
2006-09-03 03:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In middle school some kids are bullies and some aren't. Your son is one of the kids that aren't a bully. Leave him alone, if he is uncomfortable fighting don't force him to. Or would you rather he steal a gun take it to school and end the bullying that way? He is NOT a wuss, he is NOT a sissy he is just NOT a fighter at this point in his life.
2006-09-03 04:25:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Giving your son some self-defense lessons as you already do is perfect. But you shouldn't be giving advice as you have thought of and mentioned otherwise, like asking him to hit back when someone hits him. It only contributes to making your son cultivate violence and may not be good for him in his future.
Instead, tell your son to tell those who do hit him that it hurts when they hit him! And, tell him to report the matter to the school discipline master. After this, if those bullies fail to understand his gentle advice, he will act and respond naturally. It is what we call human instinct!
So, as parent, don't read too much into such incidents unless it becomes serious in which case it will become a public and police issue!
By the way, would you mind if I suggest you brush up your language a bit and make it somewhat elegant?
2006-09-03 03:15:58 · answer #7 · answered by Sami V 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not all kids can do sports. But karate would be a good choice. It does sound that your boy might be smart in math and science. A little Einstein. That is so cool! If that is so you should try to get him in a more intelligent school rather then public school. As the public school system likes the stupid and hates the smart! Good luck dear!
2006-09-03 03:15:51 · answer #8 · answered by wishuponstarson 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the parent. Emnroll him in a Marshall Arts class. And have He and dad go together and them practice at home. teaches him disapline of the mind as well as how to deal with someone that is a bully. teaches respect. Go to the school and talk to the teadcher there you and your husband while your son is in school. Then Enroll him.
2006-09-03 03:04:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your husband do ty kwon do with him thats a good Idea. Possibly even rewarding him for going (money for belt increases).
I would say confidence is 75% of the problem. With martial arts your confidence usually skyrockets.
He doesn't need to learn to beat people up just defend himself well.
2006-09-03 03:06:46 · answer #10 · answered by sheltz32tt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
does he have any friends that aren't as sensitive as he is? If he does, then maybe he could talk to them about it. I think joining something, anything would be good for him. It doesn't even have to be a defense sport. Get him into the 4-H, boy scouts, a soccer team... anything that will help him feel better about himself. Good Luck!
2006-09-03 14:41:41 · answer #11 · answered by mommato4boys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋