When does it stop hurting?

Question

Im 25 years old ,was w/ my girlfriend 3 years broke up 9 months ago have'nt really dated, miss her very much having a hard time

Answer 1

I don't know....I wish I could tell you.

But, there are some things you can do until you *do know*.

--as others have mentioned, you need to get back out there again. It doesn't even have to be about finding dates, or finding someone new, but you do have to get out there again, be around people again and *get yourself OUT of your own head*.

You need to get busy so that you won't dwell so much on the pain and loss and negativity. If it doesn't feel good, *don't do it*. I know, much easier said than done, but it will be easier to start again now than it will be a year from now. You have to do this for your own self, even if you are just doing it for the social outing on a purely platonic, "for my amusement" level....

--You need to find a way to shift your thinking about your past. You need to stop thinking of your loss as a total loss, and start thinking of it as, "Well, *I did* have three good years...", and work from that. Three years is a good solid length of time, and shows that you were doing things right for the most part, most of that time.

Use your past, your memories, as something to cherish, and something to learn and grow from.....dig *under* that pain, the good stuff, the happy stuff is still there. Really, it is. :) There wouldn't *be* so much pain from it ending if there wasn't anything good going on at all in the first place.

--And please, whatever you do....take your time and do it on your own terms. Dating on the rebound doesn't do anyone any good, it only gives you a chance you *don't* need to repeat your recent mistakes. You don't want a repeat of your recent breakup....

So yeah....cut yourself some slack, and do your thing on your terms, and give yourself enough time, and enough *positive* social outings and experiences, to *get* your recent breakup and its mistakes, drama and negativity out of your system.

Really. You need to think about this in the long term, and see the breakup as a *blip*, a brief hitch in an otherwise excellent trend for you, that you find your loves and *get along well with them* for a good long time.

I hope this helps.....and I hope you do get out there and have some fun, positive experiences, even if they are just with regular, platonic friends of yours. Really, no need to date until being around *people* in general is fun again, you know?

Take care, and take it easy on yourself, ok? Know that you did well before and are going to get another chance to do well again.

Answer 2

it never do as a wound from the flesh may heal in week but that on the heart and soul would take years or even never but one can take the chance to find the healing touch that you needed from another girl or try to accept the love that maybe have given to you by someone close to you where she might have been waited for you all this time which you don't even try to notice and who know that the angel that you've been searching for so long, the very hope, trust, and love is already in your arms to be held.
P.S; i was 17 years old when i was jilted by my girlfriend for another guy and i've been down starting on that day onward and it have been 8 years since then, where i've been too "blind" to see the love and care that other girls try to show me, but it was on the day when i was heal as i saw this girl that give me the glittering hope that i can't see from other, and though it has been 9 and a half years i've been still thinking about my ex-girlfriend yet its not adultery when i'm doing so, as i make a promise to myself that i'll love this angel that have save me from my pain with her smile and i'll keep on trying.

Answer 3

It is different for everyone. It sounds like you are not yet over her. Have you tried writing about it in a private journal or talking to someone you trust? What about going out with friends, meeting new people, going on a blind date, using a dating service? Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and decide to move on. I know it is not that simple, but it does get easier. I can remember feeling like I would die without that person, but I am still breathing. Its going to be OK.

Answer 4

It can take a long time and it may never go away. What was the reason you broke up? Maybe you need some closure to help you move on. Have you thought about contacting her and asking her to meet you just for a chat so you can get some closure.

Answer 5

oo sorry. Do you still talk to her cause you never know she could still be thinking about you. You should give her a call if you havent already. Dont straight out ask her but see how she reacts to your call....but if you cant get a hold of her or think thats a bad idea then just keep yourself preoccupied with stuff you like to do. Make yourself hane a really buissy schedual so that you eventually think about her less and less......and whoa sorry i made this so long

Answer 6

It will be hard, 3 years is a very long time, you should try to meet new people, it will ease the pain a bit. but please don't sit around dreading your situation that's not healthy for you lad.Take care..

Answer 7

When u stick on with something and u don't wanna let it go... it hurts.
But if u let that thing go out of ur life, and accept that it no longer rules ur life, the pain really vanishes.

Answer 8

You will be alright buddy, the sea is filled with women. Remember, "Only time can mend a broken heart". Good luck.

Answer 9

I'm Gettin Careless!

Answer 10

it takes a long time... just be patient w/ yourself & dont rush into anything. it helps to stay busy w/ friends, sports, work etc...
and whan you are ready to date again- really try not to let past experiences mess w/ your new relationship. good luck-