I want to stop child support and ask the non-custodial parent to relenquish his rights. Today, my children met their father for the first time in 2 years (he was incarcerated). He brought his girlfriend with him and she tried to start a confrontation with me. He did not say much during this visit. Then she told my daughter that after she straightens the mess out (talking about me) they will get her and her brother really soon. She bragged about her home with three acres and the baby she is carrying. I feel as if she is the one who is going to put me through a lot of drama. My ex-is a drug user, woman beater, criminal, and he manipulates situations to his advantage. I think if he cared about the children he would have came by himself, but he brought the MOUTHPIECE instead. I need some advice. Oh, they threw the holier than thou routine on me, too. He has been running in and out of their lives and I just want to stop the madness for their sake. HELP!
2006-09-02 19:04:55 · 13 answers · asked by Safire 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
In this situation, many people put on an act. Should he and his new girlfriend desire to legally seek custody, immediately secure a good lawyer...also, consider hiring a private investigator to randomly check his habits. (late nights out, frequent trips to liquor store, 'visiting' known drug pushers, etc. )
I assume no legal responsibility for this information.
Also, should he decide to seek custody it is HIS obligation to prove without a doubt that you are an unfit parent and your children are in danger....be careful...he will attempt to anything and everything including framing you and creating lies to prove his worth to a judge.
I wouldn't fear the situation because he has several strikes against him: 1) his known prior drug habit 2) if he is living with her, until he marries his girlfriend...most courts call it 'shacking up' and deem it an unsound moral environment for children 3) he has an undisputable criminal history 4) HE has to prove he will be the better parent, and the children will have better living conditions, medical care, and a better educational opportunity with him.
Go purchase a small, handheld recorder and carry it with you for each and every encouner you know you will have with him and record every conversation with a date and time stamp. Also, keep a journal of every encounter you have with them, include some type of time/date stamp. NEVER raise your voice to him or her...this will anger him and/or her into a peace disturbance display. NEVER lose your cool and strike at either of them....this is exactly what they want you to do. If possible, have a friend or family member accompany you on each encounter with him such as custody exchanges....this is your credible witness, and a deterrent for him to stir trouble with you.
These are just a few of the things you can do, and you should speak with a lawyer (usually the first visit is free) about the situation and see what else he recommends.
2006-09-02 19:33:48 · answer #1 · answered by IndecisiveProcrastinator 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he served his criminal sentence doesn't mean the family court judge won't take note of his crimes. Odds are if you asked for him to be placed on supervised visitation, the judge would grant it.
That said, terminating parental rights (which is what you're seeking) is rarely granted since you have a constitutional right to see your children. Allowing him to stop child support just hurts you.
Don't run out and hire an attorney just yet. Wait and see what he does. He'll need the best attorney in town to avoid being laughed out of court. I'd be curious to see if can come up with a retainer. If he walked into my office, I'd want $7500 up front.
To give an opinion if you stand a shot at terminating his parental rights, here's what I would need to know:
1) What was he incarcerated for?
2) Was he ever convicted or found to have committed domestic violence? (I know you said he did, but do you hav proof?)
3) Is there a court order in place right now? If so, what are his visitation rights?
4) Were you married to him?
(I'll check back later to see if you've added to your question.)
2006-09-03 02:10:34 · answer #2 · answered by Pepper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she's really what I think she is. She's all talk and no action! The courts will not give the children to a parent with a drug problem or history of physical spouse abuse. If you don't have any history of jail time or drugs ect. Then you have no worries. If she tried to start an argument with you in front of your children then it's called child abuse! He's probably told her all kinds of nonsense but it won't take long for the real him to come shining thru! It does sound like getting a lawyer and changing his visitation rights might be in order. Since he isn't married to this woman, you don't have to allow her to see your children. If your financial situation isn't real strong you can get a legal aid. One should be available thru your local city or county Government!
2006-09-03 02:22:50 · answer #3 · answered by Carolyn T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an attorney fast. If you can't afford one, go to the Legal Aid office in your county or city. In the meantime, if he actually has a visitation order, it is for him alone and no where does it say you have to allow his girlfriend access to your home, or your children. Good luck to you.
2006-09-03 11:52:56 · answer #4 · answered by Renae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think they have a case against you but to be on the safe side get a good lawyer. Also note anything that your kids tell you that daddy or his girlfriend say. You might need it in court. Good Luck!
2006-09-05 03:56:53 · answer #5 · answered by BONNI 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think there is a way that you can do that but you cannot make him give up his parental rights thats something he will have to do on his own and you are right you may have to deal w/drama w/his sig other but you can try what I do kill her with kindness or just explain to him that she isnt welcome to your home but you must try and give him the benefit of the doubt that he will at least do right by his kids this time around.
2006-09-03 02:09:10 · answer #6 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let them get to you. I would do everything I could to get a good lawyer, who can help you navigate the visitation and support issues. Keep being a good mom, get a lawyer, and forget what the girl said completely.
2006-09-03 02:13:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the family court and file an order to cease it. They usually cease child support immediately the same day you filed it. Then, file another order so that he can pay you.
2006-09-03 02:21:38 · answer #8 · answered by Lavina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can get sole custody and a restraining order, and you can probably stop child support if your both in agreement. you are right by keeping your kids away from him and i can't see a judge taking his side.
2006-09-03 02:14:49 · answer #9 · answered by Mitch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let them faze you. Just keep being a good mom to your kids and the judge will see it in court.
2006-09-03 02:08:45 · answer #10 · answered by catmoosebear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋