Can a 34M and a 20F have a relationship?

Question

I am a 34 divorce male who has two kids aged 10 and 6. I work for a vending company and have meet this beautiful girl at one of my stops. I am not a person who meets a lot of women. She is pretty shy and one of her coworkers came to me and said that (lets call her Jane) has the "hots" for me but she is shy and doesn't know what to say to me. So I went up to her introduced myself. We talked, I got her phone number and all was good. I called her a few times she called me a few times. blah blah blah. I didn't really think about how old she was because I was interested in her and she was interested in me. About a week ago she told me she is on my space and I told her so was I. I found her on there and that is when I found out how old she is. Man was I shocked. It didn't really change the way I felt about her, just that I was 14 years older than her. She knows how old I am. And evidently it doesn't bother her at all. Should I let it bother me? We are both happy.

Answer 1

Of course if you love each other

Answer 2

No it can't for so many reasons that are hard to enumerate here. 20 is an age that represents TREMENDOUS not just a lot or a little but TREMENDOUS change psychologically. You have older children and she'd be the babysitter just about. You represent stability for her and that's attractive at 20. Think about what most guys are doing at 20, right? So that's appealing. Find someone who has a similar lifestyle interest for any kind of a long term relationship. You're both happy now cuz it's really good sex - for now.......what's the impact to your children? They SHOULD come first.....how does this relationship impact them? Don't do that to your kids - seriously they deserve your love and protection. This thing w/20 year old is not going to last so don't crush their hopes and screw up their little impressionable minds. Cuz you know what? Kids remember.....believe me, they do!

Answer 3

No offense, but I had a relationship (sort of) with a 36 year old man when I was 21 and well it was great but it didnt work out. I think being a young woman and being able to date an older man gives the woman a boost of confidence and is a challenge. It could possibly work out my mom and dad are still married and they are 15 years apart in age. Good luck

Answer 4

I wouldn't let it bother you, but I would also be concious of the fact that you are dealing with a 20-year-old female. Many times girls this age have "big plans" for the future (I certainly do), and that may include moving somewhere, getting a job, going to college, or experiencing some things that you have already done. While she might be getting ready to go wild, you might be getting ready to settle down, so don't be hurt if and when she starts to get a little antsy. However, she might be the settling type or you might be the type to party, so maybe things will work out. Just be aware of her age in comparison with her feelings and future plans, and try to stay upbeat and light-hearted if things don't go your way.

Answer 5

I met my boyfriend 2 weeks before I turned 21. He was 34 at the time & we met while working together. We have been together almost 3 years now. There are ups & downs but I dont regret it. Just realize that you two will have grown up in different generations, so your tastes & childhood memories will differ. Also my boyfriend had no kids so just so long as you tell her about them right away (and realize shes a little young to be a mom) you should be fine!

Answer 6

34 yr old is an age that is matured n settle, while 20 yr old is more like rollercoaster, running to her future.
Well, LOVE can conquer all differences. I think the answer is in your heart, if u really love her, n have a faith that she is the right girl for you, then u shouldn't let it bother u. On the contrary, if u doubt ur faith on her, then u should consider that u might think she is not the one.

PS: hear n believe what ur heart is saying now... That voice never lie. It reflects ur deepest feeling.

Answer 7

No! Do yourself , your kids and her a favor and let this one go man. My sister married a guy 15yrs older and although they have 3 beautiful children together , it just didn't work out. At first it was OK ,but as they each got older, they slowly but surely drifted apart. He became more and more like a father figure to her and he found that he had less and less in common with her. Someone closer to your own age would have more in common with you and probably be better suited to handle you having children and an ex-wife. Next time ask (nicely) how old the lady is up front.

Answer 8

I was 31 and my husband 19 when we got together 3 years ago and it has worked out very well so far. I had many reservations the same as you just from experience of life, but then also I feel like you never know if you don't give it a shot. Good luck and take care.

Answer 9

I say go for it and see what happens. Some people are narrow minded and just stupid to let this bother them, and there will be some. Blow them off, tell them you must be doing something right to have a beautiful gf that is younger than you! My bro married 15 years his junior, I know how people are. Be happy man and love life cause you are living every 30 plus mans dream!!!!

Answer 10

Do not let it bother you. I myself am in a relationship with a man who is more than 15 years older than I am. I just want to love and be loved.

Answer 11

Of course you should let it bother you. SHE IS 20. I know they consider you an adult at 18 but where you really an adult then or are you still working on all of that ? She is just a child really. Its wrong and that's all I have to say and you should already know that. But then again your a 34 yr old man on my space.