How old is too old to be a virgin and should one give up at a certain age?

Question

I'm 26 and a few months shy of 27.

I'm abnormally shy, have a severe fear of rejection, have major self worth issues, clinical depression.. no self confidence.... and tend to hibernate in my house.

it's no wonder why I'm still a virgin.My biggest fear isn't even never losing my virginity, it's actually dying alone. The two tend to go be related in alot of ways though.

As of now.. I realize I need to get my mental outlook in order and although it sounds like one giant cliche, learn to care about myself, before I can expect someone else to.

My two part question is below

Simply put have things like my depression and my negative self outlook, already sealed the deal? Am I likely to spend my days alone and virgin at this point? (things like paying are out)I will go without, before resorting to that). and I'm not capable of sex with just anyone. Has to be a real bond.

Also is 30 a fair cutoff point? Meaning if thing's haven't happened by then, should I give up?

Feel the need to mention this... I'm male. Not sure where you all got that I was female.

Feel the need to mention this... I'm male. Not sure where you all got that I was female.

This makes it even worse though, as males are almost 'expected' by their peers to 'score' by the time they are in their mid teens

Feel the need to mention this... I'm male. Not sure where you all got that I was female.

Thanks for all the answers thus far and sorry for repeating the same details so many times.

Didn't look like my computer was going to post it, so had to keep on trying....

I guess it's more common for females to stress over things like remaining alone, so I'll forgive you all for assuming I was a woman haha

Answer 1

You're never too old to be a virgin! You shouldn't just have sex to get it over and done with. Maybe you should seek help with a therapist or medicine with your depression...work on your bigger problems so that you may conquer your smaller ones.

Answer 2

You need to deal with your depression and self-image first, because having a sexual realationship will not solve these things. A sexual relationship is so much more than the physical, it's an emotional and spiritual relationship as well. Are you on any kind of medication? Are you in any sort of therapy? I don't ask these questions lightly either, I am also clinically depressed, and I know these can help!

I can understand your fear of being alone. I was the same way at your age. It seemed like everyone in my life was with someone. In fact my two younger siblings were married with kids before me. Talk about being the freak at family parties! I struggled for many years and thru many failed and very bad relationships, trying to find the right one, and trying to make bad realtionships work just so I would not be alone. I finally came to a point where I realized that I had to be content with my situation and I had to find who I was, as a single person. When I decided to be happy, and it was not easy, I found what I had been searching for all those years.

Even now I have to decide to be happy and to try and fix the things I don't like about myself. It's an on going struggle. And there are some days when I am better at it than others. As for being a virgin at 26. I know our sex-obsessed society would have you think that you are weird for still being a virgin, but you are not. There are many people who are in the their 20s and 30s and even older who are still virgins. I was a virgin when I married at 30, as was my husband. I don't regret this at all! Nor should you. As for being shy, I suggest, finding a good group of friends, perhaps thru your church or thru people you know and become comfortable with them. You might meet people that way that you would not have other wise, and if you are in a comfrotable social situation, the prospect and pressure of a realtionship is not so overwhelming.

Answer 3

first I say what could have ever caused you to feel worthless or afraid of rejection? sounds like you might need more then help with your love life. I think you should probably see a Psychologist. Depression is a disorder and I am married to a person who suffers from Severe Depression. I will being by saying it can be very devastating to anyone it affects. Depression affects so much more then just your state of mind. Try some counseling sessions or maybe even treatment with a depression medication that is non addictive such as Zoloft or WellButrin. Once your mental state is more stable you will then be able to focus on caring more for your self and going out more and maybe even trying to socializ with others in a group setting. You are a woman don't be afraid of rejection. If you want something go out and get it. What do you have to lose? There's no deadline to losing your virginity but it should be with someone you care about and trust. Keep your head up and go get em!

Answer 4

Here's the deal.

When people are skinny and have no fat, people in society look at that as attractive. People are superficial to an extent. Because of your busy schedule or the environment that you are in, you don't have the people around you that share the same values and share the sense of importance that you have of your body.

You and I were raised watching movies that gave grandiose love stories and love affairs that are only real in the land of make believe. When we think of resorting to casual sex to fill the void within us, it insults our way of thinking.

Change your outlook in life. Realize that there is something bigger than yourself and respect life for what it is: beautiful.

Don't cut off your hope of finding a soulmate when people have found their life's love when they were in their 40's or 50's. Do you want to regret your actions after you find the love of your life and that person has to deal with your STD's or your child support issues?

Personally, I have found that when I had nobody to turn to for love, I remembered that God made me. God made Eve for Adam, and they wound up loving nobody else! They had a pretty close relationship. When God is in control of your love life, and you live your life with faith that there will be a heavenly matchmaker working hard for your sake, your life will not only be fulfilling, but it will be an example for others.

Here in America where there is a fifty percent divorce rate, don't take advice from the fifty percent that tell you that sex with different people is okay. With people dedicated to faithfullness and dignity, there is a chance for a better America, and a better world.

Answer 5

1st - I recommend you see a counselor, ideally a psychiatrist. Depression can very well be a chemical imbalance or the result of a traumatic childhood event. The fact that you are a virgin can be a terrific gift to your future mate. No one to live up to & disease free! You are a unique person & there is no one like you in the entire world. That makes you special & worth the effort to get out there & get better! Make a list of your special traits & of the people who love you & concentrate on that! You deserve happiness, so get out of the house & get some help.
Tomorrow - take a walk in the neighborhood, look around you & say 'Hi" to someone. Good luck & God bless!

Answer 6

Why are you writing your self off?!!!

You are fine! You will one day meet and delight the person for you when you tell them that you are a very RARE and limited edition Virgin!

In these sad and desolate days, it's Very rare to have somebody who actually is a virgin, especially past even the teen years!

I'd suggest getting on anti-depressants, looking in the mirror at the good person that you are and doing excercise.

You'll come out of all this one day! Just remember Not to compromise!!!

Answer 7

You can't base your self worth on when you lose your virginity. Talk to a counselor about your depression and self worth issues before you hop in the sack with someone.

Chances are, jumpin into bed with someone to make yourself feel more worthy will only make you feel worse afterwards. YOu'll feel used and violated...lonely and more confused than ever...especially if there are no real feelings involved between you and your bed partner.

One step at a time and when you're ready to loose your virginity with someone special, you'll know it.

Answer 8

nah. you'll eventually find someone who will knock your socks off. maybe you should be a little more social, and find people who can put a smile on your face.

your depression and negative self outlook doesnt seal the deal. i have friends who have the same things going on in their head and are actually seeing psychiatrists and lo and behold, one of them is getting married!

actually, you already answered your question yourself. try building friendships with your preferred partner and eventually things will happen. go out on dates and have fun. have fun with your friends and have fun with your friends' friends.

try to have a more sunny disposition. i noticed that i get more positive responses just by smiling... and if someone smiles at you, smile back.

you sound like an intelligent person to me -- and believe me when i say this, the better partners are the one who have brains on top of their list, not the size of their boobs or their wallet.

Answer 9

You are never too old to be a virgin.You need to see a christian counselor, start getting out a Little at a time,make some lady friends, who will introduce you to a good man.Don't be shy you are good as anybody and no better than anybody. God bless and good luck.
By the way I think it's good you are a virgin try to stay that way "till married.

Answer 10

no

there is no cut off point

having sex in a situation that you are not proud of will only make everything worse

keep working on that mental outlook
recognise that your are a decent valuable person
there is a decent valuable person out there somewhere that would make a good match

get out there and look for him
stretch that outlook, push yourself

get married
have great sex
feel good

good luck