My son is almost 2. My dad thinks I let him get away with too much. I tell him "no" all the time when he does wrong (like touch things he's not supposed to), but my dad thinks I need to slap his hand or punish him. Usually i try to remove him from the situation. I feel he does not understand time outs yet. Does anyone have similar problem with your own parents? How do you handle it?
2006-09-02 15:59:09 · 19 answers · asked by Becca 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I think my parents are showing their own regrets and insecurities when they criticize my parenting skills.
My mom has this whole "Well I've been a mother for 30+ years and you've been a parent for one, so clearly I know 30 times more than you about every parenting situation" (even though she does not know any other babies or small children!)
Try to keep your cool and come up with a one liner you can constantly repeat to your dad such as
"Thank you for your concern, but I disagree"
"I know what is best for my child"
"It is not ok for you to talk to me like that"
2006-09-02 17:40:48 · answer #1 · answered by Katherine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is to address your parents that you and your child need to recognize that you are the parent in this situation and that you make the disciplinary decisions. The most important role for you is to make sure you follow through with your threats of punishment.. even though he is only two, these years shape the way he respects you for the rest of his life, so make sure you establish who is the parent and tell your father that if he thinks he can do it better then to step up and take your son for the week.. if your father wants to play the role tell him to take the whole thing or nothing. Also on your part just ignore your parents have confidence this will also show your little one that you are boss and that will give him confidence as well. Good luck
2006-09-02 23:49:28 · answer #2 · answered by trurasta420 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the age of two they understand a whole lot more then you think they do, I'd start the 1-2-3 system if he disobeys then on the third one spank him...if you do not get a handle on the disobedience not it will get out of hand, and remember you parents have been there and are just trying to advise...
2006-09-02 23:20:12 · answer #3 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant know you, your son, or your father. I dont know who, if any of you are right. I can, however, tell you about my experiences.
When my sister and her two kids stayed with us she was too lenient in my opinion. I established specific do nots, and specfic consequences. There would be one test on their part, and once I showed I was consistent the war was won. My sister yelled long and loud and angry and they ignore her because she is all bark and no bite. They have no respect.
When your son is a teen, if you have not solidly earned his respect, you might not get it for the rest of your life.
Children grow. Their behavior grows over time. If your son will hit you now, he will punch you later. He may do something terrible to a girl when he is much older. Spanking at an early acting out of violent intentions, may prevent later acting outs.
Girls speak in the language of cherish, but boys do not. They speak and their heart works primarily in the language of honor. You can speak as long as you want as loud as you can in cherish, and still be heard less in the economy of your sons heart than one who whispers in the language of honor.
Now that my sister is on her own, she fights new battles every day in wars that I had fully won with the same kids when they lived in my home. Those kids are going to become teenagers, and they are going to hate her, and walk all over her.
2006-09-02 23:13:40 · answer #4 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll let you know in a couple years... right now I am still pregnant with my first. My husband and I still live with my parents (grr...) and I KNOW if I stay here, I am going to have major problems with my father. He used to spank me with a thick leather belt on my bare rear end as a child and I don't believe in spankings. Plus, whenever my little cousins come and stay for a week or so, he is always yelling at them and fighting with them and it completely makes him look like a child when he is argueing with a 12 year old about the television remote. I am BEGGING my husband to save up his money (he loves to spend it on useless CRAP) so that we can get our own place. I am currently not working because of being pregnant and having my own complications. I just really don't want my father EVER punishing my child they way he always punished me for EVERYTHING when I was growing up.
Good luck though. Just keep on doing what you are doing, I am sure you are a great parent.
Oh... and to the people that said spanking teaches your child to respect you. BULL CRAP. I don't respect my father one bit.... and quite honestly... everything he spanked me for, I completely rebelled against and did it TEN TIMES WORSE as I grew up... and I am learning how to deal with my own anger management issues I learned from my father. If I got hit for doing bad, that really only taught me that when someone does something bad - hit them.
2006-09-02 23:21:55 · answer #5 · answered by Ashley P 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation. Sometimes I just listen, pretend to agree, then still do my own thing. Mostly I just say that even though they have an impressive parenting resume, this is a different job, and that they should mind their own business.
2006-09-02 23:26:56 · answer #6 · answered by mikowensmom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain that you would like to try it your own way it IS your child but please remember a "problem" child that he may develop into later in life becomes EVERYONE'S problems so i dont think your dad is all the way wrong but he has to gve u a chance to develope your parental skills!
Hopefully it wont be too late where the child starts hitting u or talking back!! I think u maybe ok!
GoodLuck!
2006-09-02 23:04:54 · answer #7 · answered by elmsity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect your parents, the way you want your child to respect you when he grows up. Remember what they say: grandparents love their grandchildren more, so maybe your dad is scared you might spoil your kid... So as long as he doesn't take authority from you in front of your child, just let it go... and if he does, then talk to him that he's sending your kid mixed messages that he should tell you things in private and that he should respect your way of raising your child.
2006-09-03 00:43:24 · answer #8 · answered by C a R L i T a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bet is that you have parents who have never been very happy with the way you do things, especially when it is not THEIR way of doing things. This is just a further continuation of that.
Life is too short to live like that. So ignore them when possible. And tell them to butt out when not.
2006-09-02 23:08:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i really dont think they understand time outs yet but they do know no so i would just not let your parents bother you about you not doing it right well plus its your son and you can let him get away with as much as you want not say you do or anything but i would cont with what you are doing
2006-09-02 23:07:43 · answer #10 · answered by holly k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋