How did you fail when you tried to kill yourself?

Question

I mean I am guessing if your reading my question then you failed like me,, you know it really makes you question your worth when you can't even kill yourself right? Or was it fate or destiny that kept you alive? Do you think you will try again? was it the 1st time you tried? Do you feel better about yourself now?? What helped? what made things worse??
Tell me your story....

I guess it's unfair to ask this question and not tell you some of my story too huh? Sorry wasn't thinking,, I have tried more than a few times,, some where real attempts,, some were calls for help or attention,, which ever you choose to believe. This spring I had my most serious attempt and if at the last min my hubby hadn't figured out what I had done I wouldn't have woken up. ( sleeping pills should have went with the second bottle). Woke up in ICU with no idea what happened.
To answer just a couple people about what the people you leave behind have to deal with,,I am all too familar with that I have a brother who killed himself when I was 16. I know the pain I went through but now I know his pain was worse.

thank you all for being so honest and helpful!!

Answer 1

First and foremost, I'm glad you are alive.
As a veteran in this area, I've learned there is a scale used by the professionals. It works from 1 to 10. 10 is dead. The feeling occurs in most people from time to time. You are not alone.
Visualization of a method and actual preparation are signs you are moving up the scale.
Most of us, barring serious illness or injury, don't want to die, we just want the pain to stop.
Psychiatrists can prescribe some potent stuff that works under 4 minutes. HELPFUL.
Another help is contracts with as many people as you can that you will not kill yourself. As strange as that seems, its kept me from power sawing off my wrist numerous times.
Fate? Destiny? I think life calls to life. If we are honest, the pain that causes death seems infinitely worth than the pain of dying. LAUGH. It works just the opposite. Dying is an ugh, suicidal thoughts are ouch.
Oh - bag the guilt about trying. Unless you hurt someone else, you are a winner. You survived and are seeking answers.

Answer 2

I was being treated for Depression, Bi=Polar, and Anxiety. I said to myself" enough is enough". I was feeling so hopeless and misunderstood. The signs were all there, and even though I would say that I felt unstable, I was not admitted into a hospital. I took a new Rx of seraquel, a bottle of lexapro, trazadone and a Rx for my heart which was tenormin. My husband tried waking me up the next morning and he said when he smelled urine, he knew something was wrong. He called 911, and I was in a coma for 4 days. I did not fail at my attempt. God had other plans for me and I am grateful. Things are much better and I never allow myself to get that low. Things always are better if you just give it time.

Answer 3

The first and only time I really made the attempt, I swallowed two bottles of sleeping pills. Then I went to sleep. I woke up twice, sleepily thought, 'oh, i'm dying,' but then went back to sleep.

The third time I woke up, I was really hyped up. I've since heard, when you take too many of these pills, it has the opposite effect.

I like my life, and myself, much more now. Now I see it as just one more life experience that enriches my life, if life is measured by experiences.

What helped me say yes more to my life? Lots of spiritual work, questioning my conditioned thoughts, walking towards that which I fear. Trusting that when things look bad, maybe there's some ultimate purpose that's meant to help me.

It helped me some too, when I heard this-

That suicide isn't about giving up, it's actually the ultimate attempt to control life. Well, I've found I can't control life. I can't. And when I try to, I get frustrated. So I let go more.

Trust the current knows where it's taking you.

Answer 4

One time I took my diabetic pills and took half a bottle I was hoping that they would drop my insulin in my body so much that I would go in to a shock and die, didn't work must have not been enough.

I cut my wrists more times then i can count and yes up the river not across. I scars to prove that.

I would drink vodka with a hand full of aspirin.

I was diagnosed with bipolar, borderline personally disorder, OCD, and major depression in 2001 when i was 16. I was hospitalized for suicide attempts and self mutilation the same year. Year later was hospitalized again for sever depression. I was picked on in school for being fat, being different, dressing like oddly. I had been messed with my whole life as long as i can remember. I had been self mutilating since i was in preschool, biting myself, hitting walls. I was in therapy for all my high school years, now I just go see a psychiatrist for medications.

Answer 5

I tried to kill myself one time 18 year ago in my mom's car with a hose to the window. My friend found me and at that point I was just asleep. She woke me up and pulled me out the car. I didn't feel the best but other than that I was fine. I thought about it alot after that cause I really hated myself but never tried again. Anyway, that was a long time ago but hte aweful feeling lasted till about 6 years ago, when I was saved. I have God in my life now and that makes all the difference. He gave me the strength I needed to get the help I needed. I pray that the same happens for you.

Answer 6

I did try three times since four years ago,every time I stopped at the last second when I heard voices from my kids"Daddy,don't go away ,stay with us".Reason why I was trying to kill myself?There were multiple reasons: my health,my wife,my family,my depression,my hallucinations,my behaviours.
My children are the main reason I'm still alive.
One more reason, I don't think you'll believe it ,.is "Yahoo Answer"
since joined this web.I feel fine and I spend long hours by reading most of the questions and answers,that's really helping me during the most difficult time.

Answer 7

I really never took it that far to be honest. I wanted to go that far at times...i nkow that it hurts you know....life can be so painful and hard to deal with. I was told once that we seek out relief in order to cope with the pain....but relief is a feeling and we can't feel once we are dead...we are just dead. I am readina really good book.....it is called The Feeling Good Handbook and it really helps me to feel better. If you want to it only costs 22 bucks at books a million. I hope that you are okay now and that you are being safe...why let others have so much power over us?

Answer 8

I never tried. Things weren't always peaches & cream growing up, but I always knew suicide wasn't the answer. I had a few close friends succeed & all that was left behind were unanswered questions, lots of blame & confusion. That may be why I didn't attempt it myself. I consider myself one of the lucky few who hasn't tried to commit suicide.

Answer 9

I was 15, and home alone... I slit my arms and neck... I didn't cut deep enough... What could have killed me was my over dose on 4 bottles of tylenol... What went wrong was, I did it too early in the evening and my parents came home and found me....

Answer 10

YOU WILL NEVER GET BACK AT THE PEOPLE YOU ARE TRYING TO PUNIISH BY CAUSING YOUR OWN DEATH. IT NEVER WORKS. THEY JUST PITY YOU FOR BEING SO UNSTABLE. THEY THINK YOU ARE A LOSER.
YOU REALLY WANT A GOOD WAY TO GET BACK AT THEM? TRY CUTTING THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE, NEVER LOOKING BACK, AND IMPROVING YOUR LIFE WITHOUT THEM. MAKE IT SO MUCH BETTER THAN WHEN THEY WERE IN IT.
YOU CAN ALSO GET BACK AT PEOPLE BY NOT LETTING THEM DESTROY YOU, OR DROPPING OFF THE BAGGAGE THEY PAWN OFF ON YOU.
YOU BUILD YOURSELF UP FROM THE INSIDE OUT. YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN FEELINGS. NO ONE ELSE WANTS THAT KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY. IT'S YOUR JOB, ANYWAY.
YOU GET BUSY AND MASTER SOME SKILLS AND TEACH THEM TO OTHERS. YOU GET GOOD AT THINGS AND MAKE ACCOMPLISHMENTS. YOU CHOOSE NOT TO BE A PROFESSIONAL VICTIM, BUT RATHER A SURVIVOR.
YOU DO NOT INVEST ANY OF YOUR ENERGY IN PAIN, SPITE, AND BITTERNESS. YOU INVEST THAT ENERGY IN ENJOYING LIFE RATHER THAN WORRYING ABOUT IT.
YOU TRUST YOURSELF TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE WHAT COMES YOUR WAY. YOU GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO MESS UP, BECAUSE MISTAKES ONLY SHOW YOU WHAT DOESN'T WORK, AND THEY DO NOT DETRACT FROM YOUR QUALITY AS A PERSON. YOU SEEK WISDOM FROM LEARNING WHAT DOESN'T WORK.
YOU START TO SEE OBSTACLES AS CHALLENGES, AND OPPORTUNITIES TO LEARN, OVERCOME, AND IMPROVE YOURSELF. YOU REALIZE THAT MOST OF THE OBSTACLES YOU FACE, YOU PUT THERE YOURSELF. YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THAT, AND QUIT BLAMNG OTHERS.
YOU LEARN TO QUIT BEING SO SELF-ABSORBED, AND FOCUSING ON YOU YOU YOU ALL THE TIME. NO ONE CARES. YOU FOCUS ON OTHERS AND GIVE THEM WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO GIVE YOU.
YOU GIVE THEM YOUR TIME, ATTENTION, PARISE, ADMIRATION, ACCEPTANCE, VALIDATION, CONSIDERATION, EMAPTHY, AND COMPASSION.
YOU MAKE YOURSELF MORE POPULAR BY NOTICING THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE, AND TELLING THEM. YOU INSPIRE OTHERS TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES, AND THEY WILL DEFINITELY WANT YOU AROUND.
SOON, YOU WILL BEGIN TO FEEL WHAT OTHERS SEE IN YOU. YOU WILL FEEL MORE WELCOME AND WANTED WHEN YOU GIVE THAT TO OTHERS....
YOU FAILED AT IT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO. WHETHER YOU THINK YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE/ DEATH OR NOT, YOU WILL BE RIGHT.....