I have been with my husband since we were 16, we are now 23. We have been married for 2 months. I love him to death and I am lucky to have him. I will and could never doubt how I feel for him. But then the next problem comes in I have this friend, we met when we were 13 and after and 8 year break of talking he contacted me and we have rekindled our friendship. I know that even though he has a girlfriend that he is in love with me. I cant say that I love him in a romantic way but I think about him all the time. I love talking to him some times avoiding my husband so I can talk to him. He lives in another country so we never see each other but I just feel so guilty having these thoughts and feelings, is this normal? Am I wrong?
2006-09-02 15:07:31 · 4 answers · asked by melty56 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well if you know deep down in your heart that you have an undieing love for your husband than you are ok. as long as you don't let your curiosity get the better of you. right now your thinking about someone you can't have and you fear that that is wrong, it's not wrong to want to have friendships outside your marriage, it is wrong to try and make something out of nothing because that'll only cause suspicion and curiosity on both your part and your husband. but like i said before, you have to be careful not to mix true love and curiosity, they seem the same, but are very much different. you're just curios and worried about a feeling that you don't have for that other person, but you know in your heart that you love your husband, don't forget that and you won't have nething to worry about. carrying on a conversation with someone is not a sin, liking to talk to someone is not unusual, but don't avoid your husband to do it. who knows, maybe your husband would get along pretty well with that guy, if you think he's fun to talk to, why shouldn't your husband.
Hope that helps!!!
Good Luck!!!!!!!
2006-09-02 15:22:29 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say the feelings you have a normal and it's also telling you that you may be attracted to him but in regards to ethics.........i'd say it's wrong. You may not see it as cheating but if you have to avoid your husband to talk to him, it means that you also think that this could cause a problem. I think right now, you should cut him off now before your feelings grow deeper or be open with your husband about him (meaning that if he calls when your husband is there you can still talking to him in the presence of your hubby and you'll both feel comfortable).
2006-09-02 15:14:42 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you dont have romantic feelings about him, why do you feel guilty? Thinking about someone and talking to them isnt either wrong or unethical unless you're lying to yourself and you actually DO have romantic feelings for him. If THATS the case, you need to have a heart to heart discussion with your husband and perhaps both of you should go to couples counseling. If you keep it to yourself, its a recipe for disaster.
2006-09-02 15:11:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, like you said,you even avoid your husband.This is an affair of the heart and its just as damaging as a physical affair.you are sharing you with someone else.You need to share yourself with your husband.You are suppose to be one.If either one of you drifts towards someone else,even emotionally,you drift apart.Don't let there become space between you and your husband.You feel guilty because you know its wrong.
2006-09-02 15:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by kelliekareen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋