2006-09-02 14:58:15 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can give him the chance if you wish, but remember this once a cheater always a cheater. that he did it once, he just may do it again. You can also do the same to him but you'd be no better than him.
Or you could cut him loose, and find someone else.
I was also in the same position, married to a woman who cheated on me in fact, after the first time she cheated (which nothing really happened.) I let her slide, but with the provision that If I found out or even heard that she cheated on me again, it would be over between us, and unfortunately she thought I was joking and cheated again, this time she actually slept with the guy.
So I cut her loose, divorce and all; but for a whole year after that, she tried to get back together with me (rather desperate and more of a sorry act than actual remorse in my book) thinking that I'd take her back again; but I was always reminded of that second chance that I gave her and how she threw it away thinking I wasn't serious, and never allowed her the third chance she thought I'd give her. whether or not she truly had changed was a risk that I wasn't going to take anymore.
So you can give him the second chance, it's really up to you, and if he does it again, cut him loose; but be ready for him to try and worm his way back into your good graces. and you have to communicate that and make sure he knows that you're not gonna deal with that kinda BS and you have to communicate about any problems that you may be having in your relationship, and he has to be willing to do the same or else it's no good trying to continue the relationship.
because it's likely he will try that angle and you have to watch out for all the angles he'll try to use to do it: "I love you", "I'll never do it again, "you're the only one for me", "I missed you", "what would you do without me?" "I'm seeing someone else, does that make you jealous?" that kind of crap, just be ready for what he might say.
good luck in whatever your decision and I hope you don't get burned again.
2006-09-03 06:28:49 · answer #1 · answered by quiksilver8676 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the situation and what was said. Did he give a reason? Was the reason something that can be changed or something within himself? Alot of times people cheat because of insecurity on their own part which is his own issue and you cannot hope to fix that. Sometimes, its because they were unsatisfied and not getting what they need out of their current relationship and didn't know how to communicate it to their partner/communication was ignored so they went elsewhere to get what they needed. Example: you aren't around and can't spend enough time with him, he felt rejected, didn't tell you he needed more time with you, but went and hung out with a girl instead and things happened. Another harsher but just as valid example: he needs sex more than you, he expressed that to you, but you 'had a headache' or 'didn't feel like it' and it was consistently happening... If its something where he wasn't getting something from you , you guys should discuss it, learn to communicate with eachother. And if you can have open lines of communication about issues I think its worth giving him another chance.
If his reason is: "She initiated it" "I was drunk" ditch him. It takes two to find an isolated spot, take off all your clothes, slap on a condom (if he did that even), get all worked up, and than ****... you don't fall naked on someone else and start convulsing until you ***, ya know??
And as for 'promises'... nothing is for sure... not even marriage. But if you guys can communicate and you can forgive him, and truly believe he feels bad about it- give him another chance.... if he doesn't sound sorry at all and there isn't anything you two can change to make your relationship satisfying enough for him not to stray than leave. Don't look back.
2006-09-02 15:09:10 · answer #2 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all - i'm on melancholy medicine... and it would not supply me the perfect to handle my husband like a punching bag. Having melancholy problems isn't an "excuse" to be a terrible individual. Her melancholy has no longer MADE her act this sort. comfortably, she is in basic terms a bad individual. end of tale. a solid individual would not do any of the failings your spouse has executed. you're a great individual to place up with all of this for this long. She has been very fortunate - yet i think of that's approximately time that her luck runs out. She isn't being basic to you - - - who cares if that's sexual or emotional... i might actually extremely them have a sexual affair, because of the fact an emotional affair is a lot extra very own. they're the two incorrect nonetheless - you could desire to do top by ability of you and your toddlers, and get out of the marriage. and that's fairly useful to get some DNA checking out executed on those toddlers...
2016-11-06 07:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wasn't his being 'your guy" a promise he wouldn't cheat?
Didn't he break that promise???
Do you really think he wouldn't do it again since you "let" him get away with it the first time?
Give him the boot and get on with your life, life is to short to waste on losers that lie and cheat!
2006-09-02 15:03:03 · answer #4 · answered by xqzme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That would depend on the person. People can realize their errors and change. His trust would have to be earned again, not blindly given. I would say give him a chance to earn your trust.
2006-09-02 15:02:12 · answer #5 · answered by DaProfessor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no way - once a cheater always a cheater. Every guy is capable of it but few are able to restrain themselves, but a large part of the resposability also falls on the gf/wife (not very fare).
2006-09-02 15:10:12 · answer #6 · answered by 10 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you are suppose to forgive but forgettin is one thing i think it would be hard to carry out a decent relationship when u r always on the look out of if your mate is messin aroundl. and for the promising thing, promises are made to be broken
2006-09-02 15:01:02 · answer #7 · answered by caramel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the situation.
I say, give him a second chance, but not a third. If he f*cks up again it's history in my book.
2006-09-02 15:02:25 · answer #8 · answered by Emily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would someone what to cheat? Why would you want to take him back? I guess he knows you are a sure thing that would always give it up and take him back.
2006-09-02 15:05:57 · answer #9 · answered by Grandpa Shark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he promises that he won't , he will. Talk means nothing. Let him show you that he won't do it again. If he can't, NO, don't give him another chance.
2006-09-02 15:03:53 · answer #10 · answered by lone wolf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋