My bf and I are into s/m and bondage but he is usually the dominant one. I am quite shy and innocent and don't really know how to be dominant without him laughing at me! I've thought of a role play being a secretary and have bought a horse whip, but what can I do to beable to be dominant? And how can I play it off without crumbling down to laughter within the first 30 seconds? Somebody teach me to be dominant!! Thanks
2006-09-02 14:40:08 · 10 answers · asked by babyface 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To be dominant does not need to be painful, it means to be in a position of power. By taking away your b/f's power - you become dominant. Before he comes home, get the bedroom ready - take the sheets off and only have the restraints on the bed (open and ready). Tell him tonight it is your turn. Make it fun - have an "outfit" for him to wear (nothing takes away a man's power like a pink satin camisole and panties). Tie him down and blindfold his eyes. Use a silk scarf, tie a big knot in the middle, and gag him. Now lay there next to him and turn on the TV. Watch your favorite show and pay him no attention (maybe a quick rub of the panties during commercials). He will be pulling and mmmupf-ing trying to get free and satisify himself. You will be totally in control -only have sex when you are ready. It will be wonderful for both of you. Trust me after night like that - you will both enjoy sharing the dominant role.
2006-09-04 12:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by renegade13 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
One of the better things to do in this regard is to chat with female Dominants, either on-line or in person. There are lots of chat rooms that cater to the BDSM lifestyle (I think Yahoo have a couple), so pick one and start asking questions. In terms of in person, go to a BDSM munch and talk with Dommes there.
I suppose that what I could advise is that you need to have the image of invincibility. That is, you are always right, regardless of how silly it sounds, at least in the little stuff like bedroom activities (which I suppose you limit it to as the two of you switch). The big thing is to develop the mentality of a Dominant, and it does take practice. You could practice in daily life by doing normal things, such as killing spiders and reaching high shelves, but say it with authority instead of merely asking. (He probably should know that you are practicing and not being mean or anything like that.)
I hope that helps out. I wish the two of you well.
2006-09-02 16:21:56 · answer #2 · answered by Ѕємι~Мαđ ŠçїєŋŧιѕТ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you prefer the submissive role?
If you want to be dominant you have to take away the strenght of your boyfriend. Tie him up, blindfold him, gag him. There, now he is at your mercy, no longer he can physically or orally dominate you.
And now? Play tease and denial, explore his body, but avoid his most sensitive parts. Talk to him, show him you are the boss. After some while just stop, sit down and watch him squirm.
Can he do something about it? No.
See? It can be done.
2006-09-03 18:49:24 · answer #3 · answered by cordefr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are both laughing because he knows - and you know you are not taking it seriously enough... not everyone can assume a Dominant role / position... most people ( but not all ) do not switch ... they are either Dominant or submissive...perhaps you cannot act Dominant simply because you are not a Dominant person... yes you can learn to be ... but in reality... it has to be part of who you really are to be effective.... and to be taken seriously... so... though I could certainly teach you.. my suspicion is that you may be more comfortable in the submissive role... and if that is so.... there is nothing wrong with that, embrace it!
2006-09-02 20:32:27 · answer #4 · answered by Ms Fortune 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HE should be able to teach you...it is role playing after all. Personal lessons are available from folks who play this way all the time but it might be a little over your head, depending on your age.
2006-09-02 14:44:27 · answer #5 · answered by westgaliberty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dominate means control - if you don't know how to be dominate, you'll never be - you don't have to whip him or tie him up to be dominate - you initiate, you control what happens, the positions the tempo, everything and it'll be better than trying to role play
2006-09-02 15:38:39 · answer #6 · answered by Big Buddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have fun with it and just give it a try. It can't hurt to try. Practice makes perfect.
2006-09-02 14:47:52 · answer #7 · answered by Rainbrain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
write me and I will send you a story I wrote about my experience
2006-09-06 11:27:59 · answer #8 · answered by mikeallen555555 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a guy who wants to be dominated.
Of course that leaves me out. ;-)
2006-09-02 14:44:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
BUST OUT THE WHIP!!!!!!! YEEHAW!!!!!!
2006-09-02 14:47:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋