Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
>A. Ruthless.
>
>Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
>A. German Shepherds.
>
>Q. Who was the greatest Financier in the Bible?
>A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone
>else was in liquidation.
>
>Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the
>Bible?
>A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of
>the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
>
>Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
>A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a
>Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
>Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were
>all in one Accord.
>
>Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
>A. Samson. He brought the house down.
>
>Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to
>why he no longer lived in Eden ?
>A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
>
>Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant
>lawbreaker in the Bible?
>A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
>
>Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
>A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always
>overflowing.
>
>Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the
>Bible?
>A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
>
>Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
>A. Joshua, son of Nun.
>
>Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
>A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
>(Groannn...)
>
>PS... Did you know it's wrong for a woman to make
>coffee?
>Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . . "Hebrews"
2006-09-02 14:04:59 · 13 answers · asked by basscatcher 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Cute! Gave me a chuckle. I'll probably tell them to my kids!
2006-09-02 14:10:12 · answer #1 · answered by Juliart 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pharaoh's daughter was the greatest female financier in the Bible. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
God bless!
2006-09-02 14:19:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a bit long, but I thought you'd appreciate it:
The Priest and His ***
A priest, who wanted to raise money for his church, was told there was a fortune in horse racing, and so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in some races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep that he decided to buy a donkey instead. Although he had some doubts, the priest figured that he might as well enter the animal in a race just to see how it would do. To his surprise the donkey came in second.
The next day the headlines read: PRIEST'S *** SHOWS
The priest was so pleased that he entered the animal in another race, and this time it won.
The headline read: PRIEST'S *** OUT IN FRONT
The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the priest not to enter the donkey in another race.
The new headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PRIEST'S ***
This was too much for the bishop, and he ordered the priest to get rid of the animal. The priest gave the donkey to a nun in a nearby convent.
The next day the headline read: NUN HAS BEST *** IN TOWN
The bishop fainted. He told the nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey. After several days, the nun finally sold the beast to a local farmer for $10.
The headline read: NUN PEDDLES *** FOR TEN BUCKS
They buried the bishop the next day.
2006-09-02 14:11:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How about this one?
Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home.. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver.
"You know" he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?"
The driver said, "No problem. Have at it."
Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap. The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone. The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and he got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure.
The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down, he was surprised to see who was driving.
He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor.
He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to enforce the law... But I also know that important people are given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person."
The supervisor asked, "Is it the governor?"
The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."
The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the president."
The young trooper said, "No, he's even more important than that."
The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?"
The young trooper said, "I think it's Jesus, because he's got Billy Graham for a chauffeur!"
2006-09-02 14:44:31 · answer #4 · answered by Buddelia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Where is baseball mentioned in the Bible?
"In the Big Inning" (groan).
2006-09-02 14:14:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of the those were cute:).....Who was the straightest man in the bible?.......It was Adam cuz God made him the ruler in the garden.....hahahaaaa
2006-09-02 14:14:43 · answer #6 · answered by Bethyboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. Here's one for you.
Adam and Eve ate an apple in a Garden 6000 years ago. And
8,000,000,000 today have to go to Hell for it!
Nobody gets it!
2006-09-02 14:10:30 · answer #7 · answered by Medicine Eddie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let me know when I should laugh, I didn't find any of these funny. They didn't even deserve a ha-ha or even a ha.
2006-09-02 14:20:08 · answer #8 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you know, people might get offended with "jokes:" like these how lame!!! it's so sad that you make fun of the Bible fyi it is God's word and mocking it won't get u any good!!
2006-09-02 14:09:54 · answer #9 · answered by grace_k 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Oh, that was really fun! Thank you for posting. You do realize, don't you, that someone will report you. Hope not. Thanks for the laughs.
2006-09-02 14:10:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋