He don't act like he appreciates it. After 30 years of marriage to a man who flirted with women all through their marriage, even in front of her. I know she is unhappy living like this. Every other year he has to leave for three months so he can find out who he is. They were married so young and he tells her that he doesn't have another woman and that he has never had another woman. Sometimes he says he don't know if he loves her or not. She has dark circles under her eyes all the time. Everytime I see her it upsets me to see how my brother in law treats her. He is gone now and her birthday and aniversary has passed again. She says there will never be another man for her. If she could understand how sickening this looks for her to put him on a pedestal. She says she has to be strong it will all work out. To me this is nothing but abuse. He has done this to her about several times now this last 8 years of their marriage. He always says it is her fault. Why don't he just get a divorce?
2006-09-02 13:45:20 · 14 answers · asked by Busy Lady 2010 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She is leaving the divorce up to him. She don't want to lose him! I know it's none of my business but she is wasting her life with this guy.
2006-09-02 13:59:07 · update #1
Her children have even told her it would be better for her to go on with her life. They even see how sad she is. It's because she is a christian too that she won't get a divorce.
2006-09-02 14:01:33 · update #2
She says he works hard and he is always going thru things. I asked her what about how hard she works? What about her life? I wish she would divorce him. I would kick him to the curb.
2006-09-02 14:05:44 · update #3
I would have to say that he is cheating on the side. I don't think her being a virgin has anything to with it, it is him. What I would do is change the locks on the doors and windows, so when he comes home, he can't get in. Then tell him I need to find out who I am and to check back with me in 3 months.
I would call this emotional abuse and it is very hard to prove in a court of law. However, your sister has to be the one to make the move, because why should he? HE has got it good. Perhaps she is afraid of being on her own. Perhaps he has told her something like my ex did me, that if I left he would make sure I got nothing. Then to find out California is a community property state and he couldn't do that, but I was too naive when younger to know.
Your sister has to be the one to decide if she is happy. It doesn't matter what we say, it all comes back to her. YOU can offer your support. Tell her you love her no matter what she decides and will support her. Help her to find out about the laws in your state. Maybe figure out where he goes. Does he use the credit card or what does he do for money while he is gone? I wish her luck and the strength to deal with this, but it really does sound like he is cheating.
2006-09-02 14:06:36 · answer #1 · answered by msfyrebyrd 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is a weak woman who seriously needs to put her big girl panties on and get her life together. She needs to change the locks on the house and initiate divorce proceedings. He will probably come back, say all the things that have made her put up with his garbage for 3 decades, and then turn right back around and do it again next year. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and this guy is an idiot. There is nothing quite as sad as a woman's life and spirit wasted on a man. Your family needs to circle the wagons, give her lots of support and understanding while she is making these changes.
2006-09-02 13:55:30 · answer #2 · answered by TXChristDem 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think being a virgin has anything to do with it . . being in a happy relationship is dependent on the 2 people making each other happy . . and if that doesn't happen, then it won't work . . .
on the contrast, some people just can't be pleased, no matter what you do . . . being in relationships involves taking risks . . sometimes you get hurt . . sometimes you find love . . . just depends on the situation . . .
your sister's situation may be hard for you to understand from the outside looking in . . . but you don't know what goes on behind closed doors . . you don't know what problems they may be having . . you just don't know . . and frankly, it's not your business . . . you can give her advice, but she's only going to do what she wants to . . .
2006-09-02 13:53:50 · answer #3 · answered by ♥LoisLane♥ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Ebonee Beautee. Is nice you are trying to help, but is up to her.
If she want to hold him even knowing everthing you said is because she want to.
There is always a second chance for everybody and I am sure if she can hold that men.... she can make happy any other one.
The key is she have to said Enought is Enought and dont be afraid there is help and a lot organizations that can help her as long she want.
2006-09-02 14:09:15 · answer #4 · answered by Soyam I 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i sure don't beleive that he has not another woman out there. Wake up and smell the coffee. I hope your sister sees all these answers. There is a good man out there for her that would appreciate her more than this guy.
2006-09-02 13:51:28 · answer #5 · answered by gert14 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's an abusive fu**. what a jerk she needs to really get some motivation to open her eyes . and the lack of dating she did before she even got with him is probably a big reason why she feels she won't be able to find some one else for her . just be sensitive and let her know your there for her . try to find some materials to read on this subject it just might open her eyes to what is going on.
2006-09-02 13:54:30 · answer #6 · answered by LA BORIQUA 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to have his cake and eat it too. She needs to dump his *** and find a real man that will love her, and only her. She's being an enabler by letting it happen again and again.
2006-09-02 13:49:18 · answer #7 · answered by Lindsey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone can keep telling her that he isn't treating her right but her love for him is overpowering the sight of it all, she'll have to come to see it on her own most likely....
2006-09-02 13:54:01 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Butterfly Kisses♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He knows his wife is loyal to their marriage and she isn't going anywhere, thereofre he's taking advantage fo that.
2006-09-02 13:54:39 · answer #9 · answered by lynnette210 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a fat-a**, she's a dipsh*t, and the whole marriage is f*cked up. yer d*mn right she wasting her life.
2006-09-02 14:04:40 · answer #10 · answered by 12-Pack 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋