where is the fine line between sticking up for yourself or looking defensive?

Question

i would like to be able to stick up for myself, but i would also not like to look defensive.. as this can look weak. Where do you think the fine line is between healthy sticking up for yourself and being overly defensive?

i would like to say that, i definitely stick up for myself, but sometimes it is overboard.. where it is making other people uncomfortable. do you think it is better to look like this, or to just take the verbal punch and let it go?

Answer 1

First, you are starting to learn for yourself what the fine line is...we all have our "lines", each of us at a different place. So continue to learn, keep a diary. In your diary, write down the event of the day where you felt you "stood up" for yourself or the time you were "defensive". At home, alone, review your notes, and ask yourself: " why did I feel this way, what was going on that I reacted so strongly?" Sometimes it is easier to look at it in peace and quiet and make your own judgments and corrections.
It may look like this:
My boss called me to the office today. He said he had to cut my hours, I became defensive and hurt. My boss looked puzzled. I feel bad.

So now you go over everything. Re-write the script.
After he said he'd cut my hours, I could have asked him for an elaboration. This would have allowed him to explain. It may not be a personal reason. Also, I should not be hurt. He may have acted due to business issues. Also I do have savings, and if need be I can find a new job. I am not in danger. I have strengths. I can make proper decisions if need be.

see?

Answer 2

The answer depends entirely on the specific situation. Also, it depends on the other person's perception. I would worry so much about looking defensive as picking which battles to fight and which to let go. If someone disagrees with your opinion on some political matter, I might let that one go. On the otherhand, if your boss thinks you made a mistake and you don't believe it was a mistake, you might want to have a discussion about that.

Answer 3

If some body is being a jerk then you have the right to stick up for yourself or even get defensive. its human nature.

Answer 4

I think sticking up for yourself is when what you did is true, just, right. And it is something that really does matter. Try to blow off fighting over spilled milk. It's unnecessary stress.

I think being defensive is when you are trying to justify something you did that may be wrong. Own up to your mistakes, and try to be open minded. :)

Answer 5

close them out of your ideas and your existence, overlook approximately them, scare them away, etc., otherwise that's barely a non everlasting answer to a controversy or undertaking that could or could no longer be no longer undemanding to you. If i desire to no longer become emotionally in contact with something, I could come to the top that no longer something I do or say will count after dealing with it head on...and then I circulate on....that's not that no longer undemanding. yet this might could be something unfavorable on your well-being or fantastically adverse to the part of insanity..

Answer 6

correcting others assumptions of you or accusations is not defensive unless you give excuses for yourself. be confident without being egotistical and argumentative talk clearly but do not shout and definitly do not clam up and take abuse for giving your opinion if your right explain why your right without patronising and being sacastic if you act confindent people will assume you are confident

Answer 7

the fine line is defending is after you are provoked[teased forced to do so] sticking up is like sencing danger and stopping it before it ends my definition

Answer 8

very good question but beside sticking up for self and bing call a crazy is another problem/ because i was and i hated it. yes you cab stay street smart

Answer 9

laugh rite back at them they wont bother you if you make them look stupid.be sarcastic complement them and stuff about what they say.