What's a good way to introduce myself to a woman, say at the grocery story or some other public place?

Question

After being married for so long and now single I've lost some people skills. I'd like to show my interest to some attractive ladies but don't want to feel like a complete idiot. I do ok at bars but I'd like to meet some other types of ladies where drinking isn't their favorite thing in the world...

Answer 1

I've been subject to all kinds of grocery-shopping/bookstore/campus/workplace come-ons, and I can say right now that the best ones are just casual questions. I don't mean purposely-interesting questions like "What do you think of Bush?" or "I'd just like to ask you a question...do you think women like shoes like these?". I mean gentle, non-intrusive questions, like "Sorry, do you have any idea where the basil is in this place? I can't seem to track down an employee...thanks, thanks for your help...I'm so lost in grocery stores, I (blah blah blah)."

This way, if the woman is interested, she can continue the conversation ("You aren't here often? Don't you have a wife to shop for you?") or she can just as easily wander away. If she seems shy, you can also then run into her "accidentally" the next aisle down, and make another light comment, ("Hey! Are you following me?") without there being a huge blustering awkwardness because your first pick-up line de jour was poorly received.

In other words, put your focus on initiating, rather than forcing. You'd be surprised how many people you can meet just by starting a casual conversation based on a tentative information-seeking query, and after getting an answer, immediately following up with a light joke or comment related to the subject.

Practice makes perfect, but these are the kind of guys I usually like meeting.

Another option is to go to the bars, but find a female who looks like she isn't having much fun. Ask her if she's having a good time, and if she says she isn't, sympathize with her. Draw her into a nice, totally non-flirtacious conversation so that she doesn't feel like she has to get rid of you. Then, if it works out - try to talk about intelligent things - ask her if she'd like to go somewhere quieter - but close & public, like a Starbucks down the street.

Finally, hang out and get more involved in your interests - films, sports, sidewalk chalk, whatever - and you'll have a better chance of meeting someone with instant common ground.

Best of luck & happy browsing!

Answer 2

I wonder about you guys... no offense. I'm still a young man. I don't know what to tell you really. It's not any different than it was before. Except you're more experienced, more mature, and probably/hopefully more successful. You could always hook up with a few slutty 19/20 year olds if you need to build your confidence but...don't be that guy. Don't get taken for you're money either. That's who you're going to meet. Immature women, and women who want your money. It's not worth buying her time just to steal kisses (©2006)

If you see a woman you like, more than likely you'll find something to compliment her on. Her shoes, dress, hair, eyes, etc. It works best if it's a genuine compliment. Even if I like your dress really means, "I like the way that dress fits on your nice body". Women aren't stupid.

From there, if she reacts right, introduce yourself or just start a conversation. If it goes bad, who cares. If it goes good, well, just make sure you get the number. I've let far too many slip away because I didn't get the number. Of course at my age (24) it's hard to tell. Sometimes a girl could be 16-17 and look 20. Sometimes she could be 21 and look 16. You never know.

Women in their 30's are easy. Just be nice to 'em, don't pressure them too much, and take your time. I know because I meet women in their thirties all the time and get along with them real well. I've had my fair share of oppurtunities. I would imagine it would be even easier if I were an older man. However, me, pulling a 34 year old... It'd just be about the sex.

Answer 3

Brother, if there was one sure fire way life would be so much easier. I think the first thing you have to assess is realistically, does it look like you have a screaming chance in hell of having this girl want to talk to you. Women will smile to be pleasant and the dude will think that's green light on a drag racing strip. My rule is, unless I get mutual eye contact and a little "moment" when it looks like she's open to that, I get my eggs and go home. Maybe the same girl will appreciate that you didn't do what so many others try to, like use some corny line. If those kind of lines work, it's probably not on the kind of girl you want anyway. If you are lucky enough to see the same girl on more than one occasion AND she sees you, your odds improve greatly. My best contacts used to be after the woman does the approaching.

Answer 4

At the grocery you can begin by chatting about the freshness of the veggies or fruit or something. At the gas station you could offer to pump gas for a lady or check her oil, if you have seen her several times before. Don't come on to a total stranger, though. Just smile at her the first time. The next time you might say hello. and the third time start a conversation.

Answer 5

If your in the grocery store you can always go up and their opinion of something as an ice breaker. You'll know what to ask when you see the women you want to speak to, she could be in the coffee isle and you could get her to recommend a good coffee, and then if things seem to go smoothly ask her if she would like to grab a cup after shopping. There are alot of scenarios in the grocery store you could use just be creative, we know when your just trying to talk to us anyway why not make it creative. And the same goes for other places use the place your in as a guide if your in a clothing store you could ask their opinion on a color, or style. I myself loved it when guys came up and try to pretend that they needed help, it's cute. Good Luck Sweetie, I know that it can be tough coming out of a marriage, I've been there, but just get back in there and you'll find somebody.

Answer 6

Just smile at them and maybe ask a question...women love a guy who needs help at the grocery store. Just promise me, for Pete's sake, you won't say something like "how firm are the melons supposed to be?" The double entendre stuff is only funny from an existing boyfriend...not some guy you've never met :)

Good luck. I'm sure you'll do fine.

I just noticed somebody else already covered the "melons" concept. Dag nab it ! I'm never quick enough.

Answer 7

Whatever you do.. don't use cheesy lines. I had a guy at the gym try to use the "Do I know you from somewhere" crap. I wasn't impressed. Comment on something she's buying. For instance, if she has a yummy looking food, say "hey that looks good, what aisle did you get that from?". Or something like that. Just make sure you don't comment on her tampons or something embarrassing. Perhaps the commenting on her awesome choice of food will spark a conversation..

Answer 8

Well definitely check for a ring or kids near by first. ha.

Once that is clear, notice something about her/what she is doing. Like for instance, you are in a food isle and a lady who has caught your eye is picking out pasta. Go up to her and say "I noticed you are buying pasta! What do you like to make with it?" If she is friendly she will respond with a recipe and then you can respond back with "I make a great [insert pasta dish here]! Everyone loves it. [ continue making conversation about various things so that she becomes comfortable] "At the end say "hey I really enjoyed chatting with you. Do you think you would like to join me for some of my pasta next week?" Then you guys can proceed to exchange phone numbers.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 9

It's pretty tough. First look for a wedding ring b/f you do anything. If she does not look you in the eyes for longer than 15 seconds - don't bother. If she seems to be hanging around you then you can talk. If she pays no attention to you she's not interested. It's pretty tough for guys. Girls are sick of being hit on, oggled and you will seem desperate. Stick to bars and blind dates.

Answer 10

The grocer may not be the best place because people are usually there for a reason. Get involved in clubs: art music, sports, etc. Stop calling them "ladies". People sound pathetically single when they do this. Women, miss, ma'am, yadda yadda. "How's it going ladies?" sounds like a 1980s pimp.

Start getting yourself involved in club activities.