how can anyone think its ok?

Question

in asked a question on hitting kids and most people were in aggrement with me that it was wrong but the odd one said that whenever they show there child a belt they shut up on other questions there was stuff like hitting there kids with wooden paddles ok im not tottaly against lighty reinforcing "no" but how can you say belting a child is not the same as beating them
if im wrong please tell me so

Answer 1

some people are just downright evil. How can anyone want to physically harm another human much less their own child. Sickening

Answer 2

I spanked my children. I never beat them. I used a small paddle on the butt when needed and one swat is all it took. I always made them bend over and grab their ankles so I could have proper aim as not to hit them any where else. I learned this in grade school. When I went to school we got swats when we misbehaved. There is a difference in a beating and a spanking. You can beat a child with your hand just as easily as you can with an object such as a paddle. A spanking is never ever a full force blow. A beating is repeated forceful blows. The worse mistake any one can make is the use of a belt. You can't aim properly with a belt and can cause bodily harm. Same with a switch. When I was a child, my Dad beat me with his belt. I had many belt buckle marks on my body. Not because he planned to use the belt buckle end, but because the belt would slip and the belt buckle would get me. And, he used switches cut from a tree which use to cut into my skin something awful. I know the difference in a beating and a spanking.

I started disciplining my children when they were young. When they were crawling and pulling themselves up. Their arms were twice as long as their body -lol- they got their little hands smacked with a firm "NO" when they would reach for or grab something they shouldn't. As toddlers, they got a swift swat on the butt with my hand, yeah like it really hurt on padded diapers -lol- but they new they were being punished. Once they were passed toddler age, and smart enough to be potty trained, they were old enough to comprehend verbal discipline, and if it didn't work they got the paddle. By the time my children were 10 - 12 years old I never had to swat them again. Just a sharp look and firm voice took care of the situation. sometimes a serious "grounding" would work too, but the spankings came to an end at this age. Only because they new better. All due to their early childhood training. It was a blessing for me as well as for them.

My children are grown now and are thankful I taught them disciplin. They were never in trouble at school or with the law. They have good jobs and are wonderful parents to their children.

Nothing irritates me more than to hear parents cry out loud that they did all they could for their children and yet they turned out to be delinquents and hell raisers. True they may have done every thing they could for their children, but they forgot one important thing, "Discipline".

Answer 3

This answer will please no one, but your basic question is how can one say that 'belting' a child is not the same as beating them.

I can tell you that, although neither one are acceptable, there is a world of difference.

To receive a 'lick' or two with a belt, paddle or what ever is quite different from the severe, bone breaking, flesh tearing, coma causing beatings that children receive every day.

Quite different.

I do not say that you are wrong but I can say that you have never been beaten; and for that I thank God on your behalf.

Answer 4

I think that belting/beating [I think that they are the same thing] children is wrong. It just teaches them that it is ok to belt others including their own children, when they get older.
I admit I have smacked my children on their hands [not hard slaps] as they have got older, grounding, and making them stay in their rooms worked for me. now [my older 2 are 17 and 14 my youngest 3] I only have to look at my older children for them to behave, or they know however old they are or however big they are [they are both taller than me, my daughter by 7ins and my son by 5ins] that I will ground them,
A smack on the hand had done them no harm, they are great kids, I rarely have to tell them off or ground them nowadays, the most I get is a little bit of cheek and attitude which I ignore to a point then I just give "the look". They know they have pushed their luck and behave.
My youngest has started to recognise "the look" or I will say "excuse me?" and she will usually stop what she is doing and behave, if not after telling her twice she sits on the chair for 5mins in time out, she does not like this, sometimes the threat of making her sit on the chair makes her behave. I did try the stairs for the time out but she used to peel the wallpaper, so now we use a chair, its in the living room where we are, but it is the fact that she is not allowed to wander around and play with her toys that teaches her to behave.

There are many ways to discipline children without resorting to beating or belting them, I was beaten as a child, and I always vowed never to do that to my children, now matter how angry I was or what they had done, and I never have.

Answer 5

Your not wrong honey. Yes it's true there is a fine line between beating and spanking a child but beating, to me, is defined as hitting even after they have gotten the point. Spanking, wether it be with a belt, paddle, shoe, switch off the tree, ect., is two or three pretty hard hits on the butt to get your point across. Sometimes parents, especially single parents, have to reinforce a "no". It's alot easier to spank them a couple of times than it is to tell them no constantly for the next 20 or 30 minutes.

Answer 6

I have to agree with you on that one. I do believe in giving a child a smack on the bottom or the top of the hand if they do something wrong as long as its not hard enough to leave welts or bruises. By law though it if touch your child with anything other then an open had it is child abuse. Its a fine line dealing with a step parent who used to beat me I learned all about what was appropriate but more in the for of "i can hit you all i want as long as my hand is open"....Which is why my personal believe is that only a child's Legal parents should be able to discipline them

Answer 7

Belts, paddles, hickory sticks...all wrong things to use on a child.

The best thing to use on a kid is psychology, but, now and then, a light swat on the backside is needed (I don't mean putting the kid over your knee and whaling away at him).

Bear in mind that I never raised any children, so I could be completely wrong, but I happen to agree with you that belts, paddles, bats, straps, or 2 by 4s are weapons, and should never be used to discipline a child.

Now, taking away his electronic games...that's better!

Answer 8

Well that is ok to talk to them and punish by putting in corners or in the room for a time out, but I think that if something is really necessary a small smack on the butt will not do any harm. Just the threat of it usually keeps kids in line. I grew up in the 60s when they had paddles in the schools. Just the fear of feeling that paddle on my butt was enough for me to stay on the straight and narrow in school.

But hitting in excess is abuse and should not be tollerated

Answer 9

i want to start by saying in no way shape or form do i condone hitting a child. but i do believe there is a difference in spanking the bottom (with your hand only) and hitting or child abuse. it seems to me about the time that the ten commandments got taken off the walls of public buildings, the word God was not to be spoken in schools, and it was frowned upon to spank your child for misbehaving is about the same time that kids started running amok. school violence started going on the rise with all the school shootings and drug problems among younger children became the norm. just makes me wonder.

Answer 10

Hitting a child with anything is hitting a child. Those who believe that it is a valid way to raise their kids usually have serious problems in their past, where they were abused. It's never a good idea to teach through violence. If you don't want the responsibility that comes with having a child, don't have kids or give them up for adoption so that they can be raised by loving parents...

Answer 11

Belting a child is beating them, I should know, it happened to me as a child. I've used a wooden spoon on my kids but more as a tap to warn them than anything else. I don't like spanking my kids at all. some times you need to but overall I look for other forms of punishment. Revocation of privileges, things like that.