I am 28. I've been married almost 6 years. My husband and I decided to renew our vows and have a wedding. Its a year away(10-20-07-we wanted to take our time, plan it right and not go broke) . My question is since we have decided to do this, it seems that almost my every waking thought has been "wedding". Is this normal?
I just want to make sure i am not going crazy or turn everything into a disaster by obsessing over every little detail.
(a side note. We did not have a wedding when we first got married. We eloped. So i never got to do any of this the first time.)
2006-09-02 11:21:36 · 27 answers · asked by Tammy M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Please make sure you read the entire question.
1. we *never* had a wedding. we eloped.
2. we are not "fishing" for gifts
to say anything else is just...mean and in bad taste.
And seriously aren't all wedding in a sense...vain?
There are etiquette books out there specifically written for re-affirmation/re-newing vows.
If any one needs the book. Its called
Renewing your wedding vows: A complete planning guide to saying i still do.
By Sharon Naylor.
2006-09-03 03:51:08 · update #1
Awww, you and I have the same wedding date! Fabulous. I felt compelled to answer you. Yes, I feel like if I don't get my mind off it I'm going to crack. AND IT'S SO FAR AWAY! I MEAN OVER A YEAR, COME ON! I admire what you're doing, I totally feel ya. And every now and then get out of the house and try your hardest to think about something else. ANYTHING else. Good luck baby!
2006-09-03 05:03:33 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa H 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I got married almost 3 years ago. We just had our wedding Aug 5th of this year. It was a blast we had so much fun. I think you should go all out and have a fun wedding. But don't drive yourself crazy. Just remember, something always goes wrong no matter what. So just enjoy the time and don't drive your husband and the people around you crazy. I was so care free when planning mine. It was like a week before the wedding before I hired someone to merry us and sing at the wedding. I still didn't stress about it. I know that everything would work out in the end. And it did, we had so much fun.
P.S. I also had to plan my whole wedding for Japan (my husband is in the air force so we live over seas). So I planned it from Japan and we had it in Indiana. It was crazy, I went home a month early to get last minute things together. So if you need any help, feel free to e-mail me. I've learned a lot from it.
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/dohm84/album?.dir=9f70scd&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/dohm84/my_photos
2006-09-02 14:33:29 · answer #2 · answered by dohm84 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sence you didn't do this when you first got married, its no surprise that now that your renewing yoru vows you are now getting the chance to be the bridezilla that just about everyone woman truns into when they are faced with putting together a wedding. Dont sweat it. Its very common for women to get a little nuts when they have so much to do and only a year to do it in. Good luck!
2006-09-02 11:27:05 · answer #3 · answered by purple_bird2001 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's normal.. I had an 18 month engagement before I got married and most waking thoughts were of the wedding.. I will say that that is something I will never do again because by the end you feel almost insane.
2006-09-02 11:23:49 · answer #4 · answered by genaddt 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is very normal. Planning a wedding is very time consuming. Just don't obsess on things being perfect. A friend once told me that "If everything goes perfect on that day, somethings wrong." I always took that to heart.
Good luck! I think it's great that after 6 years of marriage you and your husband are doing this. I think it's great.
2006-09-02 11:32:35 · answer #5 · answered by net_grl79 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please do not throw a re-run wedding. That would be in very poor taste.
Regardless of what type of ceremony you originally had, that was the wedding ceremony you chose. Married people do not have weddings!
If you want to renew your vows semi-privately and follow it with a big anniversary banquet or dinner-dance so you can celebrate with others, that would be a much more appropriate option. But throwing a real wedding for yourself with all the trimmings is going to make you look like you're doing it for attention, for your own vanity, or, worst of all, like your fishing for gifts.
Plus, it makes you look like you didn't take your original vows seriously, because you're treating the wedding ceremony like show biz that you can repeat and take on the road.
Etiquette advisors really do frown on this sort of thing. I urge you not to take this road.
You get one wedding per marriage.
EDIT:
I received your email, and hon, you DID have a wedding!
You ARE married, are you not? You got married in a Wedding Ceremony. You exhcanged Wedding Vows.
Married people do not have weddings.
I saw your little refernece to the book you own. These days, any fool can throw together a few paragraphs and call it a book and get it published. There is PLENTY of bad advice floating around out there. The established, actual etiquette authorities in our country have written that they do NOT approve of this sort of thing. Have you read Judith Martin? Letitia Baldridge? Emily Post?
I am not being rude to you-- I'm trying to keep you from looking foolish, with some honest advice. Even if it's not what you want to hear.
Tone down your vow renewal, and have a nice festive anniversary party. That is my (and others') advice.
2006-09-02 17:30:51 · answer #6 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Yes it is normal because i'm planing a wedding right now.and every waking moment i'm thinking of things i need to do and get for my wedding thats happing next year in 2007 good luck
2006-09-02 12:45:24 · answer #7 · answered by Angel sent from heaven 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's normal... but not healthy.......... don't let it overtake your life. You have a whole YEAR. Try to break it apart into steps. Plan the location one month......... the catering the next.........the guest list the next................ one thing at a time........no need to rush. Your husband will go crazy if you obsess about this for one year. And if you don't slow down, you'll both be too stressed out by then to actually enjoy it. It's a happy time for you, dont' ruin it by rushing into every detail. Enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
2006-09-02 11:25:13 · answer #8 · answered by silverbunney 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm getting married in October 2007 also, and I am obsessed with everything wedding related right now! I think its quite normal.
2006-09-02 16:28:10 · answer #9 · answered by mrs.dennis.10.6.07 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You had the wedding you chose, so you should not be having a "wedding" at your anniversary. Have a vow renewal if you wish, but don't turn it into a wedding - that is just wrong. Have a small family dinner or something so your family and friends can be with you. But don't go after the wedding you didn't have - enjoy your marriage and be happy with what you have.
2006-09-02 22:58:08 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 4⤋