complains too much and talks really disrespectfully to your dad and is annoyed by your children and wants to control everything that happens on the entire planet?
...just "hypothetically" wondering.... ;)
2006-09-02 11:05:09 · 14 answers · asked by Hot Lips 4077 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I feel the best way to handle that type of situation is to let her know as it happens how you feel abot the things she says and does. You are the only one that can stop her from doing those things to you. If she cant respect you as an adult then that means she really doesnt value the time she spends around you and your children. When my mom starts getting out of hand, I tell her right then that I dont like it, if it continues, I leave. Situations get out of hand when we dont address them right away. Hope that helps!
2006-09-02 11:11:51 · answer #1 · answered by Lou Lou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! And not only is there a nice way, but you are doing a disservice to her by not letting her know what is driving you away. Take a moment and say "Mom, I really want to talk to you about something that is bothering me." Get her alone and to a quiet place. Then very gently say, "I know I have been spending less time with you, and the reason is I feel uncomfortable around you lately. It really bothers me how negative you are to all of us. I am not sure what the answer to this situation is, but I don't want us to drift even further apart." Hopefully this will spark a healthy conversation without too much blaming. Of course if your mother is just a narcisistic hag, she could spin out of control and slap you for your impertinence.
2006-09-02 18:13:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This really is a problem, and I totally sympathize. My mother used to aggravate all of us in a similar way. And yet, there were times when she was totally charming! I think some of it had to do with the change of life. She was certainly a giving and caring person, just didn't have the right attitude sometimes.
A nice way to tell her? Well first, you probably should skip the first part... about not wanting to spend time with her... and just let her know that you love her but you wish that she could be more gracious, more respectful, and more tolerant, letting others do some things their own way.
If you put it in a positive way like that, instead of negative, it helps. If she doesn't really care what you think, and is very blunt about telling you so.... THEN you can tell her, "Well, until it is more pleasant to be with you, I'm afraid we aren't going to see you very often."
By the way, my Mom is 88 now and living in a nursing home. Her mind is almost competely gone; she is unable to care for herself, and doesn't even know our names when we go to see her. Believe it or not.... I miss being able to talk to her the way she was. God bless.
2006-09-02 18:16:02 · answer #3 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you actually tell her outright, then you could cause a big problem, which I'm sure you wouldn't want to deal with. When she calls just tell her that you are busy or have other plans. She might, after awhile, ask why you aren't spending as much with her as you were, so just explain to her what you wrote here, or that you don't think it's healthy for you to be around so much negativity.
You have children of your own; you are an adult. You can choose whom you want to spend time with, and how much or how little.
however, good luck, you'll probably need it.
2006-09-02 18:12:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there is always a nice way to tell people many things. However, it has been my experience that no matter how nice you may be, your mother will not find your comments kind or helpful. Better to just suffer in silence like the rest of us.
2006-09-02 18:31:36 · answer #5 · answered by angelofdreams19881 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No there isn't. At least not if you mean doing it without offending her or hurting her feelings because you will not be able to do that. Say it just like you wrote it and give her examples and take the tongue lashing that is sure to follow. Things may change as a result or they may not. They will never change if you don't say something about it.
2006-09-02 18:12:39 · answer #6 · answered by Robert P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you met MY Mom huh? Oh how I wish there were a nice way, but there isn't, you just have to try to be honest and as polite as possible, but do it over the phone to avoid all out war. GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-02 18:10:57 · answer #7 · answered by Daydream Believer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need a break from your Mother...
Your Mother sounds like a "Mother-load"...
Chances are you will not be able to tell her anything...
She is set in her ways.... good, bad, & ugly.
Just take a break from it & her when it gets to be too much.
2006-09-02 18:13:35 · answer #8 · answered by gurlyruby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just become too occupied in life to spend time with her.
2006-09-02 18:10:33 · answer #9 · answered by Wise ol' owl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost such a mother in nov. 05, and let me tell you I would give anything to have her back, even with all her faults, Enjoy her while you can,ignor her faults. You may be your mother someday
2006-09-02 18:20:47 · answer #10 · answered by inmate3685 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋