what do I do?

Question

I met a guy and I said I dont want to rush into anything just go with the flow he said ok he is cool with that, 3 monthsdown the line he is talking of marriage and kids and saying he loves me and where do we stand, I have told him I am a person who likes to build on a relationship and the ings he is saying are to soon, he understand why accept this, what do I do?

Answer 1

Remember that you aren't responsible for what he thinks or feels. What you are responsible for is being honest, and kind.

Ask yourself how you feel about him. If the answer is "I really like him, but I'm feeling cornered," tell him that. If you're ready for a more committed relationship, say so.

Ultimately, this is about two things - how you feel, and whether or not he's listening and respecting your boundaries.

Let him know that while you like him, you don't like feeling pressured - then see what he does. If he continues to pressure you, then he isn't listening to, or respecting, your point of view, and that's something you need to know.

Answer 2

Ok....first off, you sent the limits when you started dating this guy. It has only been three months and he's already giving you the altimatum? There's something wrong with this picture. If he respects you and your decisions, then he shouldn't be pushing you into thinking of marriage and children already. He should be letting the subject go and letting things flow as they should be this early in the dating game.
I've had this happen to me before and the guy kept pressuring me into giving him answers to where I stood. I eventually after a few weeks had enough and I left him. If you're looking to have a great time, build a relationship and getting to know each other, there's shouldn't be that kind of talk unless you know you're in love with him and you both feel the same. You don't seem to feel the same as he does. You need to tell him that and if it breaks you up, it's only for the best and there are more fish in the sea. It's not the end of the world.

Answer 3

it would have been nice 2 know your age and circumstances (whether you have past relationship baggage etc) but oh well...
if you're not ready then you're not ready. You've laid the ground rules. He has to take it or leave it. However - he is ready to move forward. If you don't feel at this stage you're willing to make the leap (like, you need more time to assess whether he's mr right or not) then level with him. Dont string him along. That is cruel and selfish. I was at the receiving end of a stringing along affair and i can tell you, it was not nice. (it dragged on and on and on... i wish i'd left sooner, looking back as i am now).
If you feel that he is right for you, remember, when u meet mr right its not necessarily fireworks and falling stars effects, sometimes its just a feeling of total comfortability with the other person, why? cause nothing in life is guaranteed. you could wait a lifetime looking around for mr right, even if you meet him, its not guaranteed things will "work out" between you after some time.
If you have to come on here to ask though, it concerns me because if you're ready, you will know.
I can only assume that you are not - however, a true test for yourself would be to not see your boyfriend for several weeks. If you can be without him and feel no difference, then, you're probably not at all ready for what he has suggested, if ever you will be (with him).
If however, you feel you don't want to be without him, then chances are, you're keeping him to fulfil a role, (i.e stringing him along for the sake of yourself not having to be lonely...until such time u meet the right person??) OR, on a positive note, he really is what you're looking for but you havent realized it just yet...life's like that

Answer 4

I am with a guy who is like that and I learned that when some people are like that it could end up bad. Meaning, in the beginning he wanted everything rushed and was overtly affectionate and then as a year passed things changed. I don't think that he was thinking right or was just so overwhelmed with the feeling of love. Just be careful and have fun with the relationship. Talk to him.

Answer 5

Go girl,

You are so sensible you are totally right. You said to this guy you want to slow things down. And after 3 months he's asking about marriage and kids. Stick to your guns. And take things slowly if he is still right for you he will wait until you are ready. There is no rush take your time and good luck.

Answer 6

You were straight with him from the start, if he agreed to go with the flow and take it slow, remind him of that. After only 3 months he's talking marriage, that's scary. Don't let him pressure you or make you do something you will regret. It's a lot harder to get out of marriage than to get into.

Answer 7

I am probably not the one to answer this, because we stated dating at 16, got married at 18. Still married, 30 years. But if both of you are sincere, then make the relationship work.

To do; never argue about money.
BOTH of you graduate from college so you can get good jobs.
We argued about money all the time.
Went to college at night, one class per semester. Took 9 years to get our degrees. We shared the same class so we had to buy only 1 book for each class.
Don't do that! It is really tough!!

Answer 8

Just remind him that you are a person that likes to take things slow and not rush into anything. Tell him that if he can't slow down....then he can't be with you......he has to abide by your wishes for lack of something else to say.....I mean he should respect your decision and understand not push the envelope....talk to him explain how you feel.

Answer 9

Some people are looking for a serious relationship, and at three months, he thinks to himself, "This is good. I want this." If you are not there yet, he may move on. He may have a time frame as to how long he will wait to find out. Good luck.

Answer 10

You told him where you stand what more can you do. What he's asking for is big stuff and he should be wanting to do it with someone who feels the same way, but 3 months seems insane. Good luck.