I have a bf, we have been together for 8 motnhs. but i have certaint hings i don't like in his character, first proudness of himself... Now we had an argument bcos he is lazy and does not want to go out on weekends, until i leave work bcos i work on sundays till 10pm only for 2 weeks. and we used to go out at 9pm to 2am, and he doesn't want me to work. so he told me he does not want to go out. i was going to leave him, but he is forcing me to be with him again. waht would you do?? please help i am worried i love him but i am angry about him about certain things n his character, and himself. and everytime i go out i end up most of the angry for him, but i don't show him.
2006-09-02 09:58:03 · 8 answers · asked by Who knows ????????? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no ones perfect even if we love someone everyone has traits that are dislikable. you need to talk and come to an agreement. relationships are about excepting each others differences and trying to reach an amicable agreement
2006-09-02 10:07:26 · answer #1 · answered by cleo the pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you two need to talk. It sounds like he needs to lighten up a bit and be more flexible. I'm sure if you tell him how this hurts you he will lighten up. And if this is the same guy you asked about in Men's Health (I hope it is, anyway), I think you two will need to have a long talk.
You say he has character problems . . . well, I have to tell you that character problems are easy to solve if the afflicted person is open-minded enough. Most character flaws have some cause that is rooted in reality. Perhaps this guy is lazy because he's depressed. Or maybe he seems proud because deep down he has a need to prove himself and to get approval from those around him. From my experience, there are few people that are really stuck on themselves and there are many people who feel like others won't accept them the way they really are (as opposed to the larger-than-life image they try to project). These problems are easy to fix with a little effort, but you needn't be this guy's psychologist unless you really love him.
Now, as to what you should do about this, that is up to you. I am as confused about your situation as you are because you say that you wanted to leave him but you still love him. Do you really love him? Do you care about him a lot? Do you like to do things for him? Also, does he love you? You two are having problems, but can they be fixed? It sounds like he's being selfish without realizing it, but this might all be half of the story. Maybe you are doing something wrong and he doesn't like it. It sounds like bad communication all around. But if you really want to fix it and make it right, I think it is still possible at this point if you are both willing. But if you don't want to fix it or don't think you can fix it, you should break up with him. These are all things you'll have to consider. Once again, good luck!
2006-09-02 11:46:39 · answer #2 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him control what you do with your life - especially telling you not to work (nasty!). Be assertive and make it clear he can't mess you around anymore.
I would be careful - you say you're still in love with him but if he is treating you this bad then I would cut him off completely for a while (i.e. tell him you want a break, don't answer his calls or ring him), and after a little while see how you feel - if you still really love him and miss him then talk to him and take it from there.
But the most important thing is to make him realise he can't mess you around. Make sure you have good friends in your life to be there for you and protect you, too.
2006-09-02 10:05:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out with your friends and have a good time. If you are in love with him and don't want to break up with him just go out on your own and leave him at home. He is being selfish for wanting to stay at home all the time, it is your turn to be selfish. Another plus of this plan is that you will never be together and you will never fight. You can continue to love each other but you won't have to put up with all of his bull.
2006-09-02 10:04:31 · answer #4 · answered by BLANK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is not going to do any good telling you to leave him, because if you have put up with it this long, you probably are going to put up[ with it for a lot longer "because you love him". That is how abused women always excuse that type of behavior.
How is he "forcing" you to be with him? When you finally get sick of being treated that way, you will find the strength, Believe me.
2006-09-02 10:02:39 · answer #5 · answered by Selkie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don`t be his rug- someone to lie down on and roll around. He sounds very immature and the "I want, I want, I want" phase should have ended when he was about 8 years old. Tell him that you need to work as you need the money, if he doesn`t like it, it`s his hard cheese.
2006-09-02 10:10:31 · answer #6 · answered by dnlrawson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be hooked on him, but you don't really respect his ways. You don't even like him. He is a habit and therefore difficult to give up. You are afraid of him And afraid of being lonely.
Get out, or get him out, and get a life.
It ain't easy, but you can do it.
2006-09-02 10:08:30 · answer #7 · answered by mutaali t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a dork.
NO one can force you and you know it.
2006-09-02 10:55:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋