tell me a joke?

Question

tell me a good joke

Answer 1

1. Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look
at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other
problem can there be greater than this one?



2. Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.



3. Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrow! ed it. He wants to scare his parents."



4. Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a
millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before
you married her?"


Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

Answer 2

A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went.
She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went
dancing and drinking on Saturday nights. Whenever the woman went onto
the dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof
is
on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn!" The crowd on the dance floor would always
cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would

make the parrot yell even more and of course make the crowd go wild.
This
would go on all night long, everytime the parrot went out.

One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the
choir stand with her.

And when the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, "The roof, the
roof,

the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!

Burn, muthafukkah, burn! She embarrassingly corrected the parrot,

"No, you don't say that here!!"


The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same
muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!!!..

Answer 3

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 4

Nine friends went out for dinner.
There was a delicious desert with little cupcakes.
Ten cupcakes were on the plate.
Each person ate one and really like it and wanted some more.
But there was only one more left.
They were very humble and polite, so even though everyone was staring at the last cupcake and drooling, no one took it.
Suddenly, the power went out and they were surrounded by darkness.
Then, a scream came out from nowhere.
Right after, the light came back on.
And on the center of the table, on top of the cupcake, was eight forks stabbed onto a hand.
Get it?

Answer 5

A bear and a bunny rabbit live in the forest,they are good friends and hang around together.One day the bear says man I really need to take a $hit,the bunny says me too.So they go behind some trees and squat.The bear says,do you ever have a problem with $hit sticking to your fur? The bunny says,why no! So the bear picks up the bunny and wipes his azz !

Answer 6

1-A little boy wrote to Santa ...

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

2-Bush Visits a Nursing Home

President George W. Bush decides it is time to do some public relations at a local Washington DC nursing home.
The President begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn't seem to notice him.

Sensing this, President Bush backtracks to the resident and asks, "Do you know who I am?"

The little old man looks up from his walker and says, "No, but if you go to the front desk, they will tell you your name."

Answer 7

A guy walks into a bar, and he sees a chalkboard with a number 13 on it. He asks the bartender, "What's the 13 for"? The bartender said, "That's the most double shots of whiskey a man has drank here in one setting. Anyone who can beat that gets all his drinks for free". The guys said"Well, hell, I can beat that!", and sure enough, he drinks 14 double shots of whiskey, and staggers out of the bar. The next weekend the same guy walks into the same bar. He sees a number 15 on the chalkboard. Everyone in the bar recognizes him from last weekend. "He can do it! He beat the record last time!" they yelled. "Oh, no, last time I went home and blew chunks!" the guy said. "Oh, hell, no big deal!" they yelled. "No, you don't get it, I BLEW CHUNKS!" he shouted back. "We've all thrown up from too much whiskey, no big deal, dude!" they said. They guy said, "You don't understand, my dog is named Chunks!" Hope you got a chuckle!

Answer 8

What did the dyslexic anarchist wrote on the wall?
Santa is coming tonight!

Answer 9

A rather large woman walks into a bar carrying a dog under her arm. She walks up to the bar. The bartender says,"Hey, where did you get the pig"? The woman replies, "Excuse me, this is a dog"! The bartender replied, "No, Excuse me, I was talking TO the dog"!

Answer 10

a nun walks into a package store and orders a bottle of whiskey but the clerk being a good catholic says I shouldn't sell you this bottle
sister your being a nun and all. the Nun says that's all right it is for mother superiors constipation. So the clerk sells her the bottle
a few hours later the clerk closes up and starts to head home.
all of a sudden he sees the nun drunk in a alley way he says to her
sister I thought you told me the bottle was for mother superiors
constipation. She says it is when she shes me she is going to sh t