Is it better to "forgive and forget" or to hold a grudge? Why?

Question

Sometimes it is hard to forgive, but I believe it's better to forgive and move on.

Answer 1

Preface: You are not giving full info about what this regarding, so you have to be given a variety of answers.

1. If they deliberately hurt you, or did something they should've known better about, talk with them about it. If they don't get the point, move on.

2. If you are being over-sensitive about something not meant to hurt you, or was an accident, forget it and try to develop thicker skin.

3. Forgiving, forgetting and not holding grudges are healthy — it means you've let it go. You no longer dwell on them anymore. People who hold grudges rarely get the response they desire from the other person.

4. If this is a reoccurring theme in your life, then you have to own up to yourself, and make an honest effort to change your reactions.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Well, just to be different and throw something in from far left field, here's an answer I'll bet you hadn't thought of before:

"Forgive and forget" is probably best for most people because it requires no special intellectual gifts. Once a thing is "forgiven", then ideally, that's that. On the other hand, holding a grudge that simmers into hate is much more tricky. Hating requires MUCH more in the brains department than forgiveness. Hating wisely is an acquired skill that most people just don't learn. Those who DO learn it become very successful politicians, despots, and business executives. It requires finesse and grace. If these aren't your strengths, best to just forgive and forget.

Answer 3

I think its better to "forgive & forget". Holding a grudge just seems to turn you into an angry person b/c you can't let go & move on to better things in your life. Eventually all you do is sit around thinking of ways to seek revenge & all that negative emotion is very depressing. Besides forgiving & forgeting doesn't mean you let your guards down. Letting go of anger actually feels pretty good!. ."Keep your friends close but your enemies closer!"

Answer 4

Forgive and put it on the back burner! If you forgive and forget you may get hurt the same way again so be able to remember the situation and never get into it again.If you don't forgive you are stuck in a life with this person still in control of you. Forgiveness is what we as Christians are supposed to do and it also gives us the freedom to live without the control of someone over us.

Answer 5

Definitely better to forgive and forget. That's not to say you have to put your full trust in someone after they've done you wrong, but move on.

If you hold a grudge, you're just putting yourself at the mercy of your feelings about that particular event. No need to constantly relive the pain and let it torment you - show that person that you can be stronger than that and just get on with your life.

Answer 6

I would say forgive and forget because holding a grudge would just not go anywhere, it's better to move on.

Answer 7

I don't hold grudges, usually, so I think it's better to forgive. Forgetting might be difficult, depending on the magnitude of the insult or injury.

The exception would be victims of abuse, rape, etc. Too many counselors, etc., insist that forgiveness is the only path to healing. I disagree. If the victim CAN forgive, by all means, but sometimes, allowing yourself to hate someone who hurt you badly is empowering, I've read in many places. These people are exempt, IMO.

Answer 8

Men forget but never forgive. Women forgive but never forget. Only morons forgive and forget. Holding a grudge is bad for blood pressure, never do that. You must either a) forgive, or b) forget. Choose ONE and go with it. After that you're on your own. But just remember: Nobody ever forgets where they buried the axe!

Answer 9

You can choose to forgive but it can be hard to forget and trust someone again unless they earn your trust back.

Holding a grudge only keeps you a slave to the person that you are holding a grudge against and it only really makes you remain unhappy. Some people feel like this gives them a sense of control but it doesn't really.

Answer 10

Forgive and forget is hard to do. Try not obsessing about it, not to think about it at all and live your life a happy person. Holding a grudge means obsessing about the person' s actions towards you and that is bad for your health. Let it go and forget about it, be happy. For all you know the person who has done you wrong, is happily living his life and has no clue you are hurting so much about his actions.