Grooms mother out of state and struggling financially.
Bride's mother and father are out of state and struggling financially.
2006-09-02 09:02:07 · 12 answers · asked by Chitea 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Don't bother them with that ... Do what my hubby of 36 years and I did ... ELOPE!!! We got married by a pastor in a church with only my sister and her boyfriend as witnesses. We got nice small bouquets for my sister and me, and boutineers for the guys. We dressed in our Sunday best, and had the church secretary take pictures for us with a little camera we bought on the way to the church!
If you'd like, tell both sets of parents that you are eloping, and invite them to join you to witness the ceremony. Afterwards, take everybody to a nice restaurant for dinner (as your "reception"). If you get lucky, one of the parents will pay for that ... if not, at least it doesn't cost you as much as a big wedding!
If you MUST have a "real" wedding, keep it small and simple, and pay for it yourselves! (Parents paying for the wedding of their children is just a tradition, not a legal requirement!) You can go for an inexpensive wedding dress, if you'd like ... check re-sale shops, thrift stores, want ads, etc. Or find a nice dress or suit that you will be able to wear for other occasions in the future. Also, just one or two attendants each are plenty! Instead of having your bridesmaids buy new matching dresses, shoes, etc., just tell them what color you'd like them to dress in ... pink, green, blue, etc. (something they've already got). You can check their choices ahead of time to be sure they don't clash. Use flowers from your or a friend's garden ... or use silk flowers. For candles, use only three, and do a Unity candle ceremony ... or skip the candles altogether and do a Unity ceremony using black sand, white sand, and a beautiful glass vase. Have an informal reception with just a small two-layer cake for you to cut, and serve the guests cupcakes and punch. Use a friend with a CD player and a stack of your favorite music CD's instead of a band or a hired DJ. Buy several disposable cameras and give them to friends or relatives ahead of time and let them take pictures throughout the reception, pose the wedding party for a few more formal pictures. Collect the cameras and have the film developed instead of hiring a professional photographer. In the long run, you'll be just as married, and you will have saved everybody lots of money!
If you are worried about a lack of wedding presents if you don't have a "real" wedding, it might not matter. People from my hubby's family and from mine both gave us showers after the fact, and we got plenty of gifts to help us set up housekeeping.
Remember ... what really counts is the marriage, not the wedding!!
Congratulations, and Best Wishes for a long and happy life together!
2006-09-02 09:47:01 · answer #1 · answered by baeb47 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the two of you are already living together, then I'd say the wedding is your responsibility.
If not, just think how much money you will be saving once you give up an apartment or sell a house. You should be able to afford the wedding yourselves on that alone.
It's pretty hard to plan weddings from far away. Maybe you just need to have something small and inexpensive, and be glad if they can afford a nice gift.
Ask them for a financial gift instead of a present.
2006-09-02 09:43:50 · answer #2 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why bother them if they are all in a financial struggle? I'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone came to you when you were broke and expected you to be financially responsible for their wedding. just go the Justice of the Peace. Why should your wedding be extravagant? That's all materialistic. All that should matter is that you two love each other.
2006-09-02 09:07:18 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep them involved by asking for their opinions. Let them help you choose patterns, colors, foods, wines, decor...
You can send them pictures from your camera phone or digital camera and see what they think.
If they are financially struggling, set aside part of your own budget and allow them to use the money for whatever you originally had planned... ie: tell your mom and dad you will give them $----.-- for church decorations. Give them some guidelines such as colors or types of flowers and let them use the money and do the work.
2006-09-02 09:08:39 · answer #4 · answered by ŧťŠ4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't. If they are distant reletives you have no right to ask them for help financially with your wedding.
You need to plan a wedding that you can afford.
Blessed Be.
2006-09-02 09:05:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you just want them to help plan or do you want them to help pay or both? Either way, it will be hard to get them to help if they don't want to. If you two are old enough to get married, you're old enough to plan and pay for your own wedding. A marriage is about the marriage anyway, not about the wedding. Have something small and intimate or elope.
2006-09-02 09:05:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask Them Very Nicely
2006-09-02 09:03:53 · answer #7 · answered by skettopolis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If They Are So Distant Why Do You Want There Help?
2006-09-02 09:06:41 · answer #8 · answered by mks 7-15-02 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they are struggling and you want to try to include them just try to ask their opinion about certain wedding plans or if they are wanting to try to find a way to help find something they can afford .
2006-09-02 09:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask them nicely
2006-09-02 09:03:27 · answer #10 · answered by ☼shine☼ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋