due to the fact that during our first year together, I thought we were a couple (he was somewhat deceitful). He considered us to be dating and dated a few other women at the same time ( I didn't find out about this until a year later). As a result there is a major discrepency. I say we were together 3 years and he cheated. He says we have only been together for 2 years and he never cheated because we were only dating the first year. Now I am obsessed with what he's doing, where he's going , who he's with, are women going to be there, where he's been, what his plans are. I don't call often but I constantly think about calling. I spend hours going through cell phone bills and categorizing them according to the longest calls, the latest calls, and the most called numbers. From there I do internet searches to find name and make calls to find out which ones are women! Nothing has ever panned out. This obsession has consummed my time, thoughts and my life. What is this?
2006-09-02 08:46:07 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
You need psychotherapy. Get a life and stop all the head banging. 2 years, 3 years who cares. Does he treat you well? If so, then leave it alone. If you do not trust him, them dump him, but I can tell you now you will do the same thing over and over again, because you need help. Find a hobby.
2006-09-02 08:50:11 · answer #1 · answered by Richard B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are definately obsessive and need something else in your life. You would do well to get the therapy, as Richard suggests.
I can understand something of where you're coming from. But there is this: If he thought you were only friends, then he's not going to be thinking he has done anything wrong by having other friends. And if he is honest, he would not be upset with you having other friends either. If either of you tries to own the other, something is badly wrong.
When you both decide you wish to build a life together, then you have some claim. But until then, lighten up. You'll feel much better in the long run.
2006-09-02 08:56:50 · answer #2 · answered by Tigger 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship is about commitment. Commitment is based on trust. In a relationship - you need to trust until you have reason not to trust. If you choose not to trust, you cannot provide commitment. Why would you persist in the farce of a relationship yet choose not to be emotionally available - what with snooping and all?
O (C) D?? Nope - I't is low self esteem. Why else would settle for less than what you want? Been there done that
2006-09-02 09:28:52 · answer #3 · answered by hell_ZEN 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is such a thing in OCD known as 'Pure O'. I'm not sure whether this sounds like OCD, but I'll list some sites you can visit to ascertain what it might be, and I'd advise going to see somebody. Any behaviour that is disrupting your life is an illness.
2006-09-02 10:47:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are obsessed with him.im the same way with my boyfriend he cheated on me and i did the same thing such as checking phone bills,and checking his shirt for hairs and etc.all day long thinking about him doing something bad.i finally have stopped im not that bad now. just tell yourself if you cant trust him then why are you with him.
2006-09-02 19:33:08 · answer #5 · answered by hapi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES THIS IS A DISORDER, BUT YOU HAVE TO SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS. IT IS NOT HIM THAT YOU DON'T TRUST. IT IS YOURSELF THAT YOU DO NOT TRUST. YOU DO NOT TRUST YOURSELF TO HANDLE WHATEVER HAPPENS. YOU TRY TO REMAIN IN CONTROL OF THINGS. YOU ARE GETTING A PAYOFF, EACH TIME TRYING TO REASSURE YOURSELF THAT NOTHING IS GOING ON. YOU ARE NOT RESPECTING HIM OR YOURSELF. YOU ARE LETTING YOUR OWN INSECURITY PROJECT YOUR FEELINGS ONTO WHAT HE IS DOING OR NOT DOING. I IMAGINE THAT HE DOES NOT ENJOY BEING REGULATED, AND NEITHER WOULD YOU IF HE WERE IN YOUR SHOES. YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN AND STOP WORRYING ALL THE TIME. HE WILL DO WHATEVER HE IS GOING TO DO, AND YOU CAN'T STOP HIM. IF HE GIVES YOU REASON TO WORRY, THEN YOU NEED TO BREAK UP WITH HIM. WITH TRUE LOVE, YOU NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HOE THAT PERSON FEELS ABOUT YOU. YOU TRUST THEM AND ACCEPT THEM AS THEY ARE. YOU WOULD CHANGE NOTHING. YOU ARE RELAZED AND CONFIDENT THAT THEY HAVE UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD FOR YOU. YOU KNOW ALL OF THIS WITH THE SAME CERTAINTY THAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR OWN NAME IS. WHAT YOU HAVE NOW, IT IS NOT TRUE LOVE. IT IS BUILT ON GUILT, INSECURITY, FEAR, MISTRUST, AND OBSESSION. YOU NEED TO BUILD YOURSELF UP BY GETTING A HOBBY, MASTERING A SKILL, AND TEACHING IT TO SOMEONE. BE LESS AVAILABLE AND ACCESSIBLE TO HIM. GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO MISS YOU AND COME FIND YOU. YOU ARE SUFFOCATING HIM NOW, AND YOU WILL CHASE HIM AWAY. DO THINGS THAT DO NOT INCLUDE HIM. MAKE HIM SEEK AND TRY TO WIN YOU OVER.
2006-09-02 09:04:50 · answer #6 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Paranoia?
2006-09-02 08:51:37 · answer #7 · answered by Claire// 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
definite they could desire to. yet they are no longer "human beings of religion". As they declare to be. they are human beings of concern. they could desire to no longer insure their church homes and mosques the two. yet they do. back a coach of no faith.
2016-09-30 06:53:34 · answer #8 · answered by wheelwright 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bail out!
2006-09-02 08:51:51 · answer #9 · answered by sideways 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
could be
2006-09-02 09:10:58 · answer #10 · answered by braddingsarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋