I got a problem with my church?

Question

My wife is the teacher in junior church, she did a series on the ten commandments, I did the summary of how the ten commandments are ties together, break one break them all. My pastor got upset because I did the summary, I struggle with alcoholism and he feels it wasn't appropriate to teach the kids although he admitted I am a very good teacher. My view is this, everyone has a sin they struggle with in thier life, through thought, action or deed. I'm upset with his statement to me, and now he asks if he can use our conversation in his sermon! We have people who are self righteous, self involved, come to church once in a while, etc. But I get singled out because I have a drink now and then, no I am not a drunkard, I work hard, pay my bills and my family is wanting for nothing. I'm trying to not let this bug me, but it is. I didn't satnd in front of the kids and tell them it's ok to drink, and if they had asked me about it I would have told them frankly that I do have a problem and pray.

Answer 1

I'm sorry you are going through this. I have seen a lot of alcoholics and recovering alcoholics treated very much like second class citizens in the church.

My suggestion would be to move to a different church, one where you can get a fresh start. That way you can keep your recovery issues to yourself and those who understand recovery issues. Very few people who do not have substance issues or a great deal of education about them have any idea how to deal with them or support people who are.

Peace,
Pabs

Pabs

Answer 2

I am definitely opposed to getting drunk for Christians
I think you would be hard pressed to prove having a drink is a sin

Christians have MANY problems, and hardly limited to drinking... but its hard to say how big a problem from your note... you describe it as a problem so I'll take your would for it

I also do not see a problem with an approved main teacher allowing someone to do a portion of a lesson under their supervision where the supervised person may not be approved for the whole lesson depending on hoe serious the problem and how public or provate it is

so... I think I'm not sure I would agree with the pastor... except in the sense that if you belong to a church that advocates not a drop of alcohol ever... out of respect for their rules and consideration of them you should go along with it ... definitely remmember being a pastor is a hard job and cut him some slack
he may make some decisions you dont like but you can be a teacher by modeling maturity and accepting them

I also tend to think a pastor should generally avoid using private conversations in sermons... of course he is asking permission... so he's right on in that regard

there are many issues to be sensitive to on both sides... it is also an issue if its a widely known problem or private.. and the more public the problem and the more serious the problem, the more being an example for children is an issue but its hard to tell from what you wrote

I would not consider occasionally having wine at dinner a problem, I do not like alcohol myself , I would consider letting yourself be controlled by an addiction to be a problem

Answer 3

When you love the Lord do not let anything to hinder your relationship with your God.
I do not know what was the situation really, but what about if you went to talk with that pastor in person.
When you are a teacher, it is very important that your walk with Christ is proper. We all fall short from the glory of God. The teachers should be the examples, so a llittle bit more is expected from them.
What about if you asked next time a permission to teach. Talk about the subject. Then you will not have to go through this again.
If you want to serve the Lord as a teacher, do not drink. My church has given an adwice to all ministrs not to drink anything with alcohol if just possible. Even if you drink only a glass of wine, people do not know how many glasses you have taken.

When you are the teacher, or leader of the group...you are called to serve with the higher standard.

Answer 4

I think your intentions are Great. But if you are a drinker and continue to drink then you should continue on with your beliefs and church life. The pastor sounds a little Judgemental. So if he has an attitude about you, then find out why . If you have stopped drinking then you should not be singled out. If you continue to drink. Then you need to refrain from teaching the children. Sounds to me as if a parent has complained about you to the pastor. Some people and pastors are against a man/women who drinks alcahol. So you are admitting that you have a problem. Good idea to keep on praying. But if you do have a problem, that most likely the pastor see's , then you need to not teach the children at church. STOP DRINKING !

Answer 5

Unfortunately that is the problems with so many "churches" today. We tend to forget we are a "hospital" for the sick. If we were all perfect, there would be no need for the churches.

Matthew 9: 12. But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.
13. But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

It sounds like your Pastor is concerned about appearances.
He apparently appreciates your insight, but is concerned about the impression it could make on someone else. Perhaps he needs to be gently reminded that Jesus was not concerned about what people thought. He talked to everyone from the lepers(outcasts) to the Pharisees and Sadducee's (self-righteous). He spent most of His time with the average people who had questions and problems.

Answer 6

You do need help. Yes I think the pastor was a bit harsh and no I would not give him permission to use you as an example in the sermon.

But you do need to submit your life to someone who does hold you accountable for your actions. It sounds to me like you have a problem saying

"I am an Alcoholic" Cause first you said you struggle with alcoholism and then you said you only take a few drinks.

Alcoholics cannot drink at all. So the pastor may see how you are not facing your problem and is trying to help you and your family. You are hurting them if you take even one drink.

Answer 7

It sounds to me your pastor, or his wife has the problem. If he wants to preach on the Ten Commandments, then he should involve the whole church, starting with himself. He acts as if he has never sin, and we know that isn't true. God said ALL have sinned, therefore before he can't start with you he must clean his own act up.

Jesus never got the message across in His sermons, by making another person the scapegoat. I think you need a new church.

After all the church belongs to God, we are just servants there including your pastor, he doesn't own the church, GOD DOES

Good luck in your endeavor, and May God Bless you.
Keep your faith up and don't others bring you down, because God loves you, and He will help you.

Answer 8

You are right that everyone has a struggle with sin in their life. Was he upset that you did the summary or that your wife was the teacher, and expected her to do it and no one informed him that there was a slight change. In any case, God knows every area we need help in, if he intends to mention details that would let the congragation know it was you in particular then I can understand your disagreement to that. Don't leave just yet, but watch as well as pray, and if you don't notice changes in you and the tolerances of your church then I say find another one.

Answer 9

So you're struggling w/drink . . . First, I think you should be above reproach before presenting yourself to kids in a formal setting. Informally, your words and example are just as powerful, after all, you're expounding on and quoting the word of God. Second, Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine (when it ran out at a wedding). They said it was the best wine, why was it saved 'till last ! ! ! Didn't Paul advise young Timothy to take a little wine for his stomach? It's not wrong to drink. We know it can be a problem, tho'. If you want others to benefit from your resources, let the guy use your material. People will be blessed, no matter what the avenue of dispensation. Guard your faith in God, do your utmost to please him as your conscience dictates, and continue to ask him to guide your thinking and decisions. Be patient with your pastor, maybe his struggle is wielding authority over the flock (it's hard to lead God's sheep). Best of luck. (Col. 3:13; Pr. 14:29;)

Answer 10

So which one of the ten commandments says "Thou shalt not drink alcoholic beverages"???? When you find it, let me know, will you, please?

Your pastor sounds like a shitheel control freak who needs to lose his entire congregation because he's being an *** towards them! Specifically you, but I guarantee he's messing with other peoples' heads, too!!!

There is nothing in the bible that says not to drink alcohol. There is one verse, I forget where, says "drink not wherein is excess", or however your translation puts it. Basically means don't get drunk and make an *** of yourself. Jesus drank wine. Moses drank wine. And everybody in between did, too! Maybe your pastor is better than GOD?? Makes his own rules?

My recommendation is to get out of there, go someplace that actually teaches bible, maybe even christianity. Stay away from churchianity, it has nought to do with God, really.

Answer 11

Nothing is wrong with drinking.

Teaching the 10 commandments is another story...

Ephesians 2:15 Through his body on the cross, Christ put an end to the law with all its commands and rules. He wanted to create one new group of people out of the two. He wanted to make peace between them.

Galatians 2:16 We know that no one is made right with God by obeying the law. It is by believing in Jesus Christ. So we too have put our faith in Christ Jesus. That is so we can be made right with God by believing in Christ, not by obeying the law. No one can be made right with God by obeying the law.

Galatians 2:21 I do not get rid of the grace of God. What if a person could become right with God by obeying the law? Then Christ died for nothing!

Galatians 5:4 Some of you are trying to be made right with God by obeying the law. You have been separated from Christ. You have fallen away from God’s grace.

Jesus said he didn’t come to destroy the law, but to fulfill it. (Matt 5:17) The effect was the same. Look at the next verse: 18 What I’m about to tell you is true. Heaven and earth will disappear before the smallest letter disappears from the Law. Not even the smallest stroke of a pen will disappear from the Law until everything is completed.

With Jesus' resurrection, everything WAS COMPLETED!

The 10 commandments along with the rest of the law were "set aside" when they were fulfilled or completed at Jesus' resurrection.