I am 30yrs old and both my husband and I are not ready to have a child. He comes from a big family and played the role of parent to 3 of his siblings since he was 12 and stiil is at times since his dad is 73 and his mom works all the time. Secondly I have Endometriosis and don't want to go back to the pain I had before I was on the pill. I want to adopt later,mabe 35ish and have my marriage first and pay stuff off. My sister in law recently had a baby and is bugging me to get pregnant,she doesn't get it when i tell her 'not ready and can't',even when I tell her that I want to adopt she says 'There's nothing better then having your own'. That really hurts me because I know I can love an adopted child as much if I had my own. She even keeps telling me 'go for surgery' for my endometriosis. The point is I DON'T want to have my own,I choose to adopt and give the chance of a good life to another. How do I get it through her selfish head that it's not my time or choice to be pregnant?
2006-09-02 07:39:20 · 24 answers · asked by nobody's hero 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
talk to her seriously in private and tell her that you are hurt that she keeps telling you to have a baby , when she knows that you cant and your not ready..let her know that is really bringing you down.. tell her that it is not her decision and she cant make you do anything..tell her that she just had a baby and her mind and opinions should be set on her family not you and her brother. let her know that she should be supporting you on your plan of adoption...and since you dont want that surgery and you considering adoption...thats a WONDERFUL thing... you are giving a child a chance for a good life...i think that is your calling..GOD didnt want you to have babies of your own for a reason.. its a blessing NOT A FAILING...so TAKE IT AS YOUR BLESSING and do as you planned ..it doesnt matter what she thinks or anyone else thinks. pass your blessings on to those innocent children..you would make their whole lives a blessing...and when you do, in GODS eyes and in their innocent eyes you are the MOTHER.
2006-09-02 08:02:46 · answer #1 · answered by LoVeLy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told that you cant, have children of your own? And why? And if you have done that then I would tell her that is your and husband decision and to kindly back off. That you and your husband have decide to adopt a child who wants a happy home. And she should consider how grateful she should be to have her own children, and to understand that you cant . And to respect the decision that you have made.
2006-09-02 07:49:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot change her mind but you do not have to listin to her. tell her that you cannot have a child of your own and that you plan to adopt later. tell her that you and your husband have decided to live your lives this way and tell her you will no longer discuss your choice with her. your adopted baby will be very lucky because he or she will know that they were picked by you because you loved it.I have 3 children of my own,one which lives in Heaven now but I always dreamed of adopting but it just never worked out that way. Good luck in your marriage,with your health and with your future children.
2006-09-02 07:47:05 · answer #3 · answered by mama bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk on your husband appropriate to the area. tell him precisely the way you experience and ask him to place a end to the flaws you do unlike. actually a touch flavor of something won't turn him right into a junk foodstuff junkie, yet tell your husband which you need they grant him a chew of banana or the such. to this point as your sister in regulation kissing the toddler contained in the mouth, she rather shouldn't try this. Ask your husband to tell her to kiss the toddler on the cheek somewhat. that's not undemanding to set your very own policies once you reside with the in rules, yet perchance your husband can nonetheless get by to them.
2016-09-30 06:51:23 · answer #4 · answered by wheelwright 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she needs to get it thru her head that you are not ready and you dont want to go thru the pain of having a child. And if she cant understand that again, then just stay away from her.
2006-09-02 08:26:53 · answer #5 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you need to get a tee shirt that says just that would rather adopt then she can read that. maybe since she can not listen maybe she can read. get the message one way or the other good luck to you. how about on that says BACK OFF SISTER INLAW that would be funny but she will get the idea
2006-09-02 07:47:53 · answer #6 · answered by medicdebbie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your predicament .
Is there no one close to both of you that can speak to her .
Perhaps make her realise that she is being insensitive
I guess the only other solution is to tell her if it doesn't stop it will put too much strain on family relationship.
Try if you can to avoid being in the same place as her if you can for a while.
2006-09-02 07:45:25 · answer #7 · answered by witchfromoz2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her know its none of her bees-wax and you made your decision and your husbands if you're not ready you're ready. it's not true that you cant love them like your own. the only problem is that the child is going to think you hate them by keeping it a secret from them. you have a child when you want. let your sister in law know just because she had a baby you have to have one too.if you cant have let her know maybe she'll understand. if she doent to the hell with what she thinks.
2006-09-02 07:51:37 · answer #8 · answered by brooklynchick147 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to stay out of it.. just adopt 1.. if u cant have 1
2006-09-02 07:58:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to f uck off- i trully mean it. why do u even care about what she says? u should be proud of yrself that u have the emotional capability to adopt and be so positive about it. it's yr life+u and yr husband should decide. stick to yr beliefs and really..next time she starts again try the f uck off thing.
2006-09-02 07:44:56 · answer #10 · answered by disco ball 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋