Should I move from Brazil and leave three kids that I love?

Question

I live in Brazil since I was 3 but I am from Uruguay, I like Brazil but I always missed my country.
Here in Brazil I have a pretty miserable job, no friends at all but there are 3 kids that I love, my 4 years old godson his 13 years old sister and 12 years old brother, I know them for ever, since the girl wasnt even born, I am their 2nd mom, always be there for them.
They are very poor so I try to help their mom as much as I can because their dad died, but I do more than just help, I prepare their birthday, take them to fun places, so if I move I am afreid that they are really going to miss me, what should I do? I am not happy here, I really would like to go back to Uruguay.

No, no way I can take them with me, their mom will never allow that and she wont move.

Answer 1

I have lived in 5 different countries in my life span and visited more than 10. I always wondered what the best out of those were. Of course it is not a matter of which one had the highest GDP or the highest standard living but which one is the best as us individuals? Which country can I really call home? The answer to that is simple. It is not necessarily the country you were born in or the place you spent the longest time but where you had (or most likely to have) your best experiences and the nicest memories. So think through it carefully, where would that be for you?

Answer 2

This is a tough situation. Do you put your own happiness or the happiness of these three children (that are not yours), first?

How about getting a new job and making some friends in Brazil? Is there a group of people from Uraguay in Brazil somewhere so that you could make friends with people from your country of origin?

Why does your friend want to stay in Brazil? It sounds like her life is not an easy one. Could you convince her that she and her children will have a better life in Uruguay? Are you sure they will (I don't know what the economy or job market is like in Uruguay).

I suppose if all else fails, you could move to Uruguay and send money back to help her with the children but it really sounds like they would suffer if you did.

The other option would be to go to Uruguay and test it out for a while. If you have not been back since you were 3, there is no guarantee you will want to stay either.

Life is short. When you are on your death bed someday, which would you regret more...not moving to Uraguay or not helping these kids?

Answer 3

You did not mention your age.
If you are young and want to move to improve your life, you will have to weigh it against leaving the children. But, how do you know that life in Uruguay will be better ?
Do you have a job lined up ? Do you have friends there ? Do you have a place to stay ? Do you have enough money to last until you get a job ?
The children have already lost their dad, so I'm sure that they have separation anxiety. This will get worse when you leave.
Have you thought about looking for a better job where you are?
Have you tried attending a local church ? This will help you spiritually and introduce you to people.
I know that this is lengthy but please bear with me.

There was a preacher that evangelized. After he and his wife had a son, he began to change things to keep a balance. He would go off and preach for a week then he would be home for a week. This worked well until one day, when his son became a teenager, his wife called him. She told him that she was having a problem with their son, she could not make him mind (unbeknown to them, their son had picked up anothe phone and was listening). The preacher said okay, cancelled the remaining revival, and returned home immediately. He cancelled the rest of his meeting for the year. He put his home up for sale. Shortly thereafter, they moved to another town to pastor a small church. There the preacher stayed, spending every possible moment with his son. After his son went off to college, the preacher tried to go back to evangelizing, but some of the pastors had retired or moved to another church. So, he remained where he was.
It seems like quite a sacrifice for the preacher ....... until you realize that this preacher's son is Dr James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family.
The effort and attention you give to children is what makes them who they are.

Because you are now in their lives, what you do affects them.

Prayers to you, and God bless.

Answer 4

For those of you who are saying "you should never leave your children! That is wrong! They are your responsibility!"...you people need to READ. She stated that these are not her "real" children, but her god son and his siblings. While she may be a second mother figure in their lives, they are not biological, therefore not her responsibility unless she is their legal guardian.

These aren't the dark ages, it is 2006...there are plenty of ways to help them from Uruguay...we have a mail system, phone lines, western union, internet, etc. While they may be poor and may not have a computer or a phone, they are NOT unreachable from another country. You can still send them money, you can send them letters and pictures and you can still visit them. You can send them phone cards to use at payphones to call you.

I say move. You need to do what is best for you right now, not someone else's children. You are unhappy, do something about it! Of course they are going to miss you. That is only natural. But they will not forget you love them. Nor do I think their real mother would let them forget you.

Answer 5

I understand the concern. But maybe you can find a way to help them from Uruguay. You have to do what is best for you. You can better yourself now and in a couple of years you can maybe take them to Uruguay with u

Answer 6

Is there any way that you can take them with you? Because from what you are saying, you're not going to be happy if you go back to Uruguay because you'll miss your kids.

Answer 7

That would be a tough choice to make. Isn't there a way that you can get the family over to Uruguay to be with you?

Answer 8

Eu acho que eles entenderao a sua situacao em querem voltar p/ o Uruguay. Explique para eles sobre seus sentimentos e fale que eles poderao te visitar sempre que quiserem!
Boa sorte.

Answer 9

They are not your children. I understand families have hardships and real family and friends do help. You have your own life to live and someone that cares would understand that. Move back home. And keep in touch with the family to let them know they are not forgotten.

If they appreciate what you have done. They will understand

Answer 10

ask the whole family to follow u in Uragua. since Brazil is not really working for any of u, move all together.