How do I rid myself of the pain and anger I am holding?

Question

It's killing me.

Answer 1

I'm sorry for your pain. I've felt similar feelings and asked myself the same question. What worked for me was to 1) make a commitment to LIVE, 2) look at the source(s) of my pain and anger, 3) make the decision to release the pain and anger from my mind, body and spirit through forgiveness, including forgiveness of myself when needed, 4) get help when I needed it - I'm part of a global community, SOMEbody had to have experienced similar feelings/situations/issues and probably had suggestions/information I could use. If not, at least I found a listening, non-judgemental ear. And finally, 5) Be Kind To YOU. Pain and Anger are like injuries to the soul. We treat most bumps and bruises with a certain amount of respect and kindness. Why not our psyche? :)

Answer 2

Hi Sharon, I understand your delimna, because I was the same way. A couple of months ago I visited a friend who said to me that I don't sound angry anymore, and two days later while visiting another friend, she said the exact same thing. It was such a gift to hear that. I even notice the difference in my voice and the way I think. My anger really was killing me also. It affected all my relationships, career, intimate, friends and family.

Try a form of therapy called Eye Movement Desentization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and read plenty of positive books. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers is good. Do daily affirmations and surround yourself with positive people.

Also, I rarely watch t.v. or lesson to negative music. I feel that my stress level is much lower than most people because I don't see the imagines or hear the words. They really do cause fear, anger and low self esteem. I listen to foreign music since I can't understand the words (they may be saying negative things, but I don't know), jazz and standards.

It really is a job to let go of the anger and takes time. I am able to breathe freely now, but for a 20+ years the anger was my worst enemy.

Answer 3

Psychologists say to look at it the other way around. The situation persists because it works for you on some level. Painting yourself as the victim of the process is a sort of double lock on the door to keep the behavior in place. Private pain and anger is distancing behavior. It works as a shield to withhold yourself. Many times this is a clumsy move to avoid rejection or failure. -- You can't lose if you don't play, right? True 'nuff, but ya gotta be in it to win it.

GOAL-ORIENTED counselling can help. Don't expect results from aimlessly exploring feelings. If you want different results, you have to run different choices. In the end, it's up to you.

Answer 4

My mother had the same problem and went to a therapist.
She had a lot of anger and frustration and pain from her childhood but would never cry or yell or anything. She was always kind of quiet and soft spoken.
her therapist told her she needed to cry... yell... hit something ( preferably something soft like a pillow or the mattress)
He told her when she was alone and thinking about what ever it was that was bothering her... to really think about it .. get upset over it , don't try and think about something else instead . that only pushes it down deeper. And don't try to hold back the tears . just cry about it , go into her room and put her face in a pillow if that made her feel more secure about doing it and just scream out whatever it was that she wanted to say ,and in her mind really be talking to the person (s) that had caused her so much grief. Punch the pillow or whatever . Just get it out...
She said that every time she did it she felt better.
She would yell out the questions she had wanted to ask this person her whole life and really say what she felt about them but could never say it out loud to them.
It really was a great release for her. And she says she feels so much better. I hope this helps you.

Answer 5

You should take up a new hobby. It should be a healty one and really active. It will take your mind off of whatever pain and anger your holding in and you will feel so much better and it realy isn't healthy to hold in anger and pain. Just don't take it out on anyone. If you don't have time for any hobbies maybe you should talk to someone about it.

Answer 6

A lot of times pain and anger can be disguised HURT trying to protect itself. Sometimes it helps me to admit that I am hurt and why I am feeling that way, just getting to the bottom of it helps me get clear. It helps me take more responsibility for my feelings and takes the power away from who or whatever I think I am anger at. And then I can focus on changing my actions or removing myself from a negative situation so I can get rid of the pain. Being as honest as possible about my feelings takes a huge load off of my chest and takes the anger away. Hope it helps you.

Answer 7

two things that help me:

*buy a punching bag. Whenever you feel the anger rise dangerously, go punch the bag until you feel too tired to continue.
*bury your head on a big pillow and scream until you have a sore throat.

And another thing. Pain and anger are two things that are powerful enough to give you the drive to reach whatever you want. So, set some goals for yourself, give yourself a reasonable deadline to finish them, and use all that bad energy that comes from your pain and anger to keep yourself going in pursuit of the established goal.

And I sincerely hope that things can be better for you than they are right now.

Answer 8

If you must, forgive the person you feel has caused this pain and anger.
We cannot proceed effectively in our life, if we hang onto this pain. I don't know why we do it, it is something I have asked myself so much.
Remember that God says, "Vengeance is mine, says the Lord."
The biggest thing you need to do is forgive. Even if you cannot do it in your heart, say it out loud. Then start to believe, start to let go, and trust that you really have forgiven this person or persons. Some people, this is all they know. And if we didn't hang onto this, we could be so much more happier. Most of the time, I think it is something that is unfinished in our lives. We have to find closure and then let it be done with.

Answer 9

forgiveness is a powerful thing love is another learn them both and you will live in harmony find the thing you love the most could be family life etc. and multiplied it by infinity and you will find peace, next time you getting angry go to that place right away next time you feel pain think of all the love you have and feel it that help me a lot. I recommend you also to read some of Deepak Chopra's books one of them is The seven spiritual laws of success

Answer 10

Pain and anger can also be a symptom of depression. You may want to speak to your doctor about how you are feeling.