How can I stop my 10 year old child from lying????

Question

He is a good boy don't get me wrong. He does great in school and does his chores her at home. But I can't get him to stop lying, I don't like it one bit. I don't know when he is telling the truth or when his not. I want to be able to believe my child when he tells me something but I just cant. Please anyone give me advice??

Answer 1

what's he lying about? Is he afraid that if he tells the truth he will be in trouble? is he trying to protect someone? Is he embarrassed about something? Does he want more attention? Try to figure out what is causing him to lie. Then you should talk to him at his level with words he will understand and explain how important it is for him to tell the truth. Use examples of why it can be dangerous to lie about things. When he does tell the truth show him how happy you are that he told the truth no matter what the situation is. If you catch him in a lie then give him the opportunity to come forward on his own. When he does be proud of him. You can also use a situation where you are lying to him that would make him really upset. To show him that it doesn't feel good to be lied to. It might also just be a phase that will pass. All kids lie from time to time. Put yourself in his shoes. Do you remember lying to your parents. It's most likely the same scenario.

Answer 2

Better question... How do you stop yourself from lying? The thing you have to understand and maybe this is what your child is trying to teach you is that inorder to not lie you'd have to know the full truth. And I doubt you know the full truth about almost everything. So basicaly learn to accept lies and how to turn them into truths is your best bet. Say your child tells you a lie like momy I wasnt outside playing in the rain... When it is so obvs that they have been playing in the rain. Just look at it as a game and go along with it and tell your child ok and say you love them no matter what. This is really a boundry issue your kid is testing you to see how wise you are and its a battle you're bound to lose because your child is bound to be smarter then you its just how having children works. Teach your child how to learn and love and they will probably try to lie alot less. OF course once your child learns how to learn expect there grades to start droping fast because they will have learned what a joke school is along with alot of other things. Basicaly you have to decide do you want a slave or a free thinker. If you try to make a child into a slave they will probably one day realize what you have done and there may be some resentment in there heart. But if you try to make the child a free thinker and they realize they are still just your slave there will also probably be resentment. So I cant tell you what way is truely better but I know I would rather be a free thinking slave then a slave master *free thinker* who donest realize what freedom means. So basicaly you are doing a good job raise'n your child the way they are ment to be raised but that doesnt mean you cant change the way you treat them and teach them and still be doing a good job.

Answer 3

My son is 8 and tries getting away with lying occasionaly. This may sound mean but I sat him down and explained that people don't like liars. If one of my friends lied to me I would know longer be friends with them. Then I asked if he would want to be friends with someone he couldn't trust. In the end I explained to him that no matter how much fun he was he wouldn't have any friends if he continued to lie to people. This worked for the most part. I do still encounter lying every once in a great while and I either take the Playstation away for a week or make him go to bed an hour early. He hates the going to bed early because his sister gets to stay up and he's afraid he's missing out on something. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Answer 4

Children lie. That is a fact most parents would attest to. They don't seem to need instruction on lying; they don't need encouragement to do so. They just do. Children exaggerate, twist the truth, hide the facts, manufacture stories, and deny the obvious.

Lying ought to concern us. Yet what concerns us most is when a child lies compulsively. By that we mean that a child lies frequently or for no apparent reason. Parents subject to compulsive lying become suspicious and distrustful of their children, and the children conversely become more unruly and more dishonest. Once the cycle of lying and distrust is in full swing, it is difficult to find a single way in which the cycle may be stopped. That is the primary purpose of this pamphlet: to initiate a process of thinking through why a child lies, and then find the help necessary in discontinuing the behaviour.

Answer 5

Not sure my method will work on a 10 yr old but it works fine on my 6 yr old. I told him that a friend of mine taught me how to see a red light in his eyes everytime he lied to me. Once I told him that, every time I thought he may be lying but wasn't sure, I'd look deep in his eyes close up and ask him a question, reminding him that I was looking for the red light. Every single time I've caught him out because his body language changes dramatically, probably down to the fact I'm right at his eye level and making unbroken eye contact without raising my voice. Not sure if this'll help you but 5 other Mums I know use this way (oldest child is nearly 9) and all of us found it works! Good luck

Answer 6

If you want your child to stop lying

o stop lying to your child, or to other people when your child can see what's going on

o talk with your child so they know that lying is an unacceptable behaviour

o set up consequences - if your child lies, they will have to spend some time in time-out ... they may well lose toys or priviledges

o stick to the rules - you have to be rock-solid in your integrity or you are giving your child a mixed message

Answer 7

The best way that I know possible to stop a child from lying is to explain to them that it's wrong. I know that is typical advice but having your parents drill it into your head does help. Every time my parents caught my sister of I lying they would take something of importance away from us. But what is even harder to handle is when you catch your kid in the act in the actual lie and let me tell you it only makes us feel even worse than we already did for lying to you.

Answer 8

That is a very hard bad habit to break, but like in most things, consistency is the key, every time he lies give him a punishment and follow it thru, it does not matter if he pleads with those puppy eyes, keep your position, start from limiting stuff he likes to taking it all away, making him do extra chores around the house, you be the judge of adapting the punishment but like I told you before and I have to stress it, be consistent, he will come around.

Answer 9

Lying is a a triat that all people have, you cannot make it go away you cannot change it. If you do not like your child lying, then you will have to get over it. Im sure you lie and I know I do, but if he takes it too far, show him the effects of what lying can do.

Answer 10

That's a very bad habit, u have to stop him.
Tell him this story, it's a good story.

"Long time ago in a small village, live a boy with his parents. He always lying. One day, he told his parents and neighbor there is a wolf would came to attack their village, everybody very scary heard it, they ran out of the village. But later they knew that boy said was not true, he was lied.
Since that time all people in that village never trust him anymore, even his parents. One day, when he was playing outside his home, there was a wolf attacked him. He scream and asked for help, but no one help him because all people though he's lying.
And that boy was death because of his lying. If he never lie, of course people will help him when he was attacked by the wolf."

I hope this story will help u to teach your son to stop lying.
Good luck..............