Is it solely my responsibility to pay for my own birthcontrol?

Question

I just got a pay cut at work. So money will be tight. And I am a single parent of two. My boyfriend stays here 6 days a week. He won't officially move in becsause he doesn't want to be serious or commited. Previously, I have asked him not to stay here that much but it goes in one ear and out the other. I have even asked him to give me 30 a week (roughly 1/5th of the food, utilities, rent). He had no response and hasn't paid me.Well, now that I got a pay cut, I have asked that he pay for my birthcontrol at least until I find a second job. It is approximately $40 for a three month supply. His response was that birthcontrol was my responsibilty and so we should either abstain from sex or I should buy condoms instead of refilling my birthcontrol. Isn't birthcontrol a shared responsibility for a couple? I am a hard working factory worker. He has no kids. He makes more money than me. He always brags about how he has a at least 300 to 400 hundred a month to save. And so much in the bank.

Answer 1

Every time you have sex charge him $2.00 for the pill, even if it's oral sex.

P.S. Don't you REALLY think it's time to dump and kick this BUM out of your life? You would be doing better if he wasn't in your life.

IT'S A NO BRAIN-ER!

Answer 2

GO back and read your question. He stays with you 6 days a week but won't move in because he doesn't want to commit. You are being used. Tell him, no sex. no more staying at your place. Relationships are a two way street, and you've been doing it all way too long. He's already moved in, he's just denying it. I would say,

KICK HIM TO THE CuRB.

I would be willing to bet that if you stop birth control and tell him no sex, that he will find someone else to share a bed with. You mean nothing to him. I love the way you use the word responsibility and try to include him. He hasn't taken responsibility for anything...his share of your residential upkeep, his share of food, his share of birth control...etc......as far as I'm concerned, he should be gone.

(I know, you won't be able to find another man who'll stay with you since you have children.......nonsense).

Is he the father of either of your children. Are you getting child support? If he's not, is the father paying? If not why not? Let's talk responsibility for the lives of his children.


Good Luck

Answer 3

Got a real gem living there, don't ya? He won't officially move in because HE doesn't want a serious commitment (makes me wonder if he has someone else on the side, as well). First off, all he is using you for is: a roof over his head, food/drink and sex. Now, honestly, is that any kind of a relationship to have around your other kids?? What's that teaching them? You need to order him to get out and never come back! The bum wants his cake and eat it, too, free of charge, basically. You are struggling to make ends meet as it is. Think of yourself and your two children FIRST!!!! Without the moocher, I'll bet you'd do just fine.....and to the 2nd part of your question, yes, it is your responsibility to pay for birth control. Look at your question, hon....HIS response was abstain from sex or YOU buy the condoms...not him...and in that case, that's HIS responsibility.

Do you truly want this kind of a relationship? I sure as hell wouldn't! My kid always came first. As for his bragging, I'd seriously question that, as well.

Ok, I'll step down from my soap box....I could go on....

Answer 4

Maybe you should start thinking of how to get rid of your boyfriend - he's being rude and inconsiderate towards you and your feelings. Just think of all the money you'd save if he wasn't there eating your food while you're at work!

Asking for a little help isn't always easy, nor is it anything that he shouldn't be willing to give to you. People in serious relationships often times split the cost of contraception. I bet if you told him your plans were to abstain from sex, after a week he'd be buying your pills. You deserve better than him.
Good luck!

Answer 5

Birth control should be a shared responsibility under the circumstances. However given what you have said above how about you just ditch the moron altogether? He obviously has no intention of committing to you at any point. And if you do decide to stay with him I suggest you take him up on his other offer - use condoms because goodness knows what he is up to when you are off at the factory!! Protect yourself, it's a cost well worth investing in.

Answer 6

Personally, this guy with a "better job" and who is "saving money" sounds like a freeloader. You haven't given him any consequences for his lack of contribution to your household, so he won't listen and will continue to suck you down financially until you put your foot down.

This situation smacks of more than just who is responsible for birth control (which by the way, is the responsibility of BOTH people in the relationship. It takes two people to make a baby). I would never have put up with a guy like that, and if you won't think of yourself, think of your kids. If he's not interested in being a committed husband AND father, he needs to go. Why would you even consider a guy who takes food and clothing from your CHILDREN???

His complete lack of empathy and generosity when his financial situation is better than yours shows a significant lack of maturity and compassion AND love/care for you. Though he says he'll just abstain from sex, my feeling is that he will use it as an excuse to break up with YOU unless you cave (yet again) and buy birth control.

Please don't be gullible and, frankly, stupid, about this. Find someone better who will treat you right. Even better, if you get rid of him and focus on yourself and your kids, you won't need to pay out money for birth control anyway!

Answer 7

Your boyfriend is a pig - dump him!!!!

Geez, birth control is *both* people's responsibility, since it takes two to make a baby. Since he offered abstinence as a solution, I suggest you take him up on that. And tell him not to come over just to "spend the night" since abstinence is rarely possible in those circumstances.

Are one of your children a girl? Not to go all Dr. Laura on you, but are you sure what you are modeling to your children by having this loser-dude come over several times a week to f*** mommy but not provide her any commitment or concern is a message you really want to send to your children? If you have a daughter, you are tellling her it is OK to let a man use her like this. If you have a son, you are telling him this is how a man treats a woman. Do you really want that for your kids?

Dump this loser, and find someone who really cares about YOU the person, not you the sperm receptacle.

((hugs))

Answer 8

This guy sounds like a real jerk. My boyfriend has always paid for birth control. Traditionally guys buy condoms. Quit your birth control and don't buy condoms and see how quick he buys them. He is using your own ultimatums against you. Forty dollars for three months is very inexpensive. He is your boyfriend. Why is he having such a hard time taking care of you? That may be the real issue. Sounds like he takes advantage of you because he can. Whatever you decide to do good luck!

Answer 9

Id tell this guy to get out of your sight I mean come on girl, If he is like this now how is he going to be when or if you get marriade. Come on seems to me like he has you around his finger and having you pay for everything if he is staying there then he has to have the responsibilty of paying too. But he only comes off and on then you need to stop that cause seems to me like hes only there to have sex and get his pleasure and run off. That is not a strong relationship and should be noticed and stoped immediatly!! I mean and if he wont help you out with birth control and such then that goes to tell you he has no care whats so ever about you. and thats not a good sign!!

Get rid of him girl, and Get rid of him soon,
I mean you got kids,Not only do it for yourself but for your kids! Even though they may to young to understand this think of the future that this will bring, Will it be healthy for your family? or unhealthy. Think about this. and not wanting to commit to you but yet haveing intamacy is terrible. Making love is practicaly making a commitment. Hes a player How do you not know that he isnt with other girls at this time.

Do you have the trust that you need ??
Can you fully trust him I mean come on.
If hes not willing to help you, or do anything for you then tell him your breaking up and finding someone else who is more of a gentlmen then he could ever become!

You deserve better don't ever let your guard down and want less then you first wanted when you where young and had your first date. It should be the same even now. Think about it.

Best of luck!

Answer 10

through fact the others have mentioned, she's already broken the strains of etiquette, so which you have each and every precise to act although you like. If I have been on your place, nevertheless, right here is what i could do: First, take a seat with the different MOH. Ask her how she feels approximately this complete element, money and all. You 2 might desire to return up with a cohesive plan. Then, you the two might desire to take a seat with the bride. i could precise tell her, "in case you like Vegas, we are going to do each and every thing we are able to to make it great, yet we in simple terms won't be able to discover the money for to pay to your trip expenses. in case you fairly need Vegas, you will might desire to pay for that your self, and you will might desire to settle for that rather some the folk you may prefer to attend won't have the potential to discover the money for to return and don't have the potential to take that plenty time without work of artwork." i could additionally furnish her an determination. you reside in long island. there is plenty stuff to do there! arise with a place of birth plan. If she rather needs some thing diverse, arise with a plan to bypass to Boston or DC, someplace nearer and extra obtainable. with a bit of luck, she'll understand and be prepared to pay for herself. I easily wish everybody who could baldly ask that would desire to be arranged to attain this. If not, or if she throws a extra healthful, then she will close up and be glad about the extra genuine looking party you're waiting to throw, or she will whine and not have a bachelorette.

Answer 11

I say you cut the sex off from him and see if he pays. If you would have full say so over the birth of a child then you should have full responsibility of the B/C. If he brags and thinks he's that good it's time to cut him down to size.