He does have some good qualities, but he doesn't know how to do the little things that women love. I have cheated on him, & he forgave me but he has cheated so many times. We dont have the same morals. my older daughter wants us to stay together as long as we dont quarrel, what should i do
2006-09-02 05:06:38 · 32 answers · asked by tess2die4 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be scared, and run. Honey, please don't keep you and your children in this kind of situation. Things only get worse. I don't care if he has some good qualities or not. If he has hit in then it is time to move on. You decide your future not your daughter. Besides you are teach your daughter it is okay to be abused and if you have little boys you are teaching them how NOT to treat a lady. For your safety and the future of your children, MOVE OUT and MOVE ON...
I don't want to read about you ending up in the hospital or worse yet the morgue. My first husband was very abusive, I would defend him, he landed me in the hospital with several broken bones. Please be careful and start looking for a better future for you and your children. You have an opportunity to stop this cycle of madness in your family.
Good Luck and God Bless
2006-09-02 05:13:05 · answer #1 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your oldest daughter of course she wants you guys to stay together but it's not right; if he is abusing you in front of the children then it's time to go, Your children do not need to see that at all and or hear the arguments.. I beleive when your children get older ( if you have a boy) that he will think it is ok to hit women cause he has seen his Dad do it to his Mom???
My Advice is to leave him as soon as you can, and teach your kids not to hit women or men???
2006-09-02 05:13:44 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Daisy_Duke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you what I think from a man's perspective. I am married to a woman who was abused in another marriage before me.
There are more fish in the sea and to stay with a man because he is the father of your children is not only detrimental to you but also to see that is hurting your children as well.
I have four children and my oldest remembers the abuse my wife suffered at the hands of her father. That is something she will carry her whole life. Get out with the children and start over.
My wife did it when she was pregnant with her second child..just broke off relations with the guy and never looked back. You can do it.
2006-09-02 05:12:58 · answer #3 · answered by MJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first things first... I don't think anything justifies physical abuse (hitting, etc). A person who is not in control of his physical action certainly needs to put that in order first. Second, you cannot let this trickle down to your children. Their minds are sensitive and what they see now is what they learn. So, if you must quarrel... do it outside. Also, try to explain to your children that sometimes people don't like each other and that's okay. Everything can be sorted out by a persistent dialogue and supportive action. All the best.
2006-09-02 05:12:07 · answer #4 · answered by thepsychologist 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he hit you once, he will do it again, get out of their, If he does not have the same morals, that is more reason for you to be out of their. You cannot make a guarantee to your daughter that you and her dad, will not quarrel, or fight. you have no control over that. he has no respect for you if he hits you in front of your children. Make a life for you and your children, and be at peace.
2006-09-02 05:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter seems to be more responsible that the two of you.
You have both cheated on each other, he forgot he was a family man, but you forgot you were a mother. " We don't have the same morals." what are morals"? You have to first understand what morals is, when you learn that, I assure you things are going to turn around for you.
I suggest you make some changes before you try to change him. Ask yourself what am I doing wrong? meditate on it. Be a good mother and raise those kids with good examples.
2006-09-02 05:14:33 · answer #6 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to think about what is right for you as well as the children. They will grow up and move away and will remember all that went on and could well think it is ok for a man to hit a woman.Your oldest child will always love you both but the longer you stay together the more damage could be done.
2006-09-02 05:14:50 · answer #7 · answered by grovette22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. because it's more than just the little things, it's the really big ones... like not hitting you, especially in front of the children.
i'm speaking as a child who grew up in an incredibly abusive house-hold. my mother put up with my father's violence, and it tainted her. and let me tell you: i hold it against her, even to this day. and i almost certainly always will. he's only hitting you now... but what about later?
your older daughter is your inferior. you're the parent here. you don't need to ask her permission to leave someone, and you don't need to ask her permission to pursue someone else. she is not responsible for your relationships.
leave this man, before you get seriously injured, because it's only a matter of time if you stay.
2006-09-02 05:12:02 · answer #8 · answered by entropicflux 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if this is what u want to show ur kids thats its ok for daddy to hit mommy then sure go right ahead, but while doing so think about the nightmares those kids have and u know nothing about it... thats how we get serial killers cause the kids see things and dont know how to deal with it ... wake the fuc* up and treat ur self as if i love ur self and ur kids u dont have to ask if u should u already know that this is a non healthy realationship raise ur standards in life stop setteling for less cause u think no one will love u with kids.... food for thought if he hits u plus hits u around the kids.... im herer to tell u that is not love that is stupidity dont do it for u ddo it for the kids.. r u not tired of being afarid and hidding the marks
2006-09-02 05:12:16 · answer #9 · answered by 1plum 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its so easy for all of us to say "girl get the hell away from him" but it may not be that easy for you for whatever reason. It doesn't matter that he is the father of your children if he puts his hands on you. What matters is your life, health and saftey of you& your children ( besides kids don't ask to be born so they must be taken care of to the fullest right.) i know how it is they love their father but you have to let them know they can always see him as long as he not abusive to them.
but ask your self
How long have you been dealing with it?
How much longer are you willing to deal with it ?(even if the abuse and cheating is off &on)
How do feel about yourself ?
Do you realize what you are worth?
Have you ever seen a person dieing from AIDS ?
Do you think its not gonna happen to you ?cause he says hes protecting himself with condoms! etc
Is it worth that risk?
I think the foundation to these types of relationships is the victims self esteem. ONce you know your worth and what you deserve you won't take no chit period. I'm not saying you can't compromise but you won't be taken advantage of or treated badly ya know why? BECAUSE PEOPLE ONLY DO WHAT YOU ALLOW. So nip it in the bud so to speak and try not to repeat history when u get the balls to leave ur love and move on to the next ..
PS and most importantly.... talk with a support group online or go to one. I'm sure they can give advice and stuff too. Don't waste anymore time. We only live once. leave him asap don't worry yes you will miss him but with time you'll get ova it hun. ITS ONLY A FEELING, IT'LL GO AWAY. I always speak from experience. Maybe it'll snap sense into him after time goes by and maybe not but don't wait for him that is for sure move on. Let him see your serious. Actions speak louder than words Right! Hope i helped you hun.
2006-09-02 05:52:47 · answer #10 · answered by Thebronx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋