we are renewing our vows in october and i was wanting to invite them and he is refusing to let me invite them due to their beliefs.
2006-09-02 04:32:34 · 12 answers · asked by atthean 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I understand your position, not wanting to hide your beliefs but in this case I would have to agree with your husband. It all depends on what kind of relationship you want with your husband's family in the future. If you know anything about Pentecostals, you should understand. Remember, He knows them very well. This isn't about honesty and openness, it's about getting along as a family and possibly saving your marriage.
2006-09-02 04:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by oldman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm... Pentacostals, eh? So they're bound to think that you're going straight to hell and they'll do whatever they can to keep you from dragging your husband and any children down with you.
I can see why your husband would want to avoid the conflict. I'm sure it will be painful, especially for him.
So it's a risk vs. benefit situation. What will you gain by coming out of the broom closet with your husband's family and what do you stand to lose? Because the issue is complicated, I'd sit down with hubby and write everything down, cons on one side of the paper, pros on the other. Then you can each score the items 1-5 to determine just how important each point is to each of you. You'll probably end up with different scores, but it will create an important dialogue and help you see each other's side of the issue.
Good Luck!!
2006-09-02 13:16:50 · answer #2 · answered by Kya Rose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As an open Pagan, one of the things I have to find balance within myself about is the decision between being open about my faith and completely antagonizing others who simply wouldn't understand.
We're getting married on Mabon. Most of my immediate family knows and accepts that I'm Pagan, though my aunts and uncles don't. And while I don't want to subvert any of my beliefs, I also don't see the point in being so "in your face" about it that it ends up making others uncomfortable.
So if you want to invite them because you're really close to them and you want them to share in your special day (in which case I wonder why they wouldn't already know?), that's one thing. If you're wanting to invite them so you can leap "out of the broom closet" at them when you know it will make them uncomfortable, IMHO you should probably re-think it.
Also consider how much grief they are likely to give your husband (and you) if they don't take it well...?
2006-09-02 13:48:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband accepts you for your pagan faith then his parents too will have to accept you. You accept them for their beliefs so nothing should stand in your way of renewing your vows. Are you having a Pagen ceremony? When my husband and I were married we went 'non-denominational' since his parents are Jehovah's witnesses and mine are Catholic. Sure they won't like the fact that you are Pagan,but that's what you believe and they should be honored to be at the ceremony. Stand up for your beliefs and be true to who you are not stand behind yourself. Don't preach it like JW's,lol,just don't hide it either. Good Luck!!!
2006-09-02 14:56:05 · answer #4 · answered by nobody's hero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's wrong I'm pegan my grandmother is penecostal and she knows about my beliefs,I got lucky enough to find a pegan man and we are going to have a wiccan wedding next year and invite alot of people that don't believe the same.However it is our day and our way,I think you should invite them anyway.No matter what I'm sure they will understand.
2006-09-02 11:40:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would approach your husband on how you feel about this.
They need to know the truth about your beliefs, even if they don't agree. Is he hiding your faith because of inhertance, or is it just because he wants to avoid the fight?
They are going to find out one way or another. I would suggest talking to your husband and pointing out that you are not ashamed, so why should he? Approach the issue as adults.
Good luck!
2006-09-02 11:38:10 · answer #6 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are the ones that are pagan and he is riding the fence on this to avoid exposing the truth. In this case renewing your vows is pointless because it is not truthful and done with a glad, open and true heart. Good luck!
2006-09-02 11:38:06 · answer #7 · answered by jodie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your husband and you should have settled the religion question well before you got married. Now you have to be sensitive to the feelings of others, and listen to your husband.
2006-09-03 06:00:52 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel strongly about this - invite them and tell them on the invite what type it is - go behind his back let them know, theyll be very interested. Your husband is concealing it from them because he is ASHAMED,
2006-09-05 17:05:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUNNNNNNN!!!!! pentecostals are holy rollin nuttso's
I went to pentecostal church in my teens and the preacher one sunday stood me up IN CHURCH and threw me out because i went to dinner and a movie with a guy that wasn't my husband. never stepped foot in a church since.
You have a right to believe anyway you want and if she is hiding you already what's next?
2006-09-02 17:26:02 · answer #10 · answered by Deb S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋