I am 16 and have been seeing my boyfriend about 3 weeks, he's me asked to stay the night at his next week. I knew nothing would be happening between us as his brother shares a room with him and his mum would make him sleep in the living room anyway. But when i asked my mum if i could she said no, I really don't understand why though because i have explain to her i'm just staying the night and not sleeping with him and he'll be sleeping in the livin room. But she still said no. Do you think this is reasonable ? I dont' think it is can anyone give me advice to try and persuade my mum and show her that she can trust me
2006-09-02 01:43:41 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think your mum is remembering all the promises she once made to her mother.
2006-09-02 01:47:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You can say that nothing will happen, you can believe that nothing will happen and something can still happen! Your mum knows this from experience and she doesn't want to see you spoiling your young life by getting pregnant.
My dad wouldn't let my sister do that at 16, she was reminiscing the other day about this (shes 36 now). When she got upset and argued that her friends could do it so why couldn't she, he said 'some of your friends will be pregnant before long' - now she concedes he was right, looking back she counted four of her friends who were pregnant within a year or two! There's plenty of time for you to do all the things you want in your life. Just trust that your mum knows best and stay safe and happy. It's nice to have a boyfriend and learn about relationships - take it slow and enjoy.
2006-09-02 09:28:35 · answer #2 · answered by Mick H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing right about it. Your a 16 year old girl trying to sleep over at a boys house that you've been seeing for three weeks? No parent in there right mind would something that stupid. You are truly not old enough to handle the situation,and have no business even trying to do something this ignorant. I could see your point if you were trying to sleep over at a girlfriends house but a boy? The issue isn't about trust,it's about what's right and proper.Here's the advice : drop the subject cause your to young. This is why your not a adult,cause you haven't began to think this through,you'll be labeled a s l u t and your parents will be the laughing stock of the whole neighborhood if they let you do it.Wait till your 18 and on your own. See why kids need supervision?
2006-09-02 08:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you want to stay at your boyfriend's house and I'm sure that you feel that this is a perfectly reasonable request as I'm sure that you would be allowed to stay at a friends house and you trust yourself not to sleep with him. But i want you to ask yourself a few questions.
Has your mum had the chance to meet and get to know your boyfriend? Maybe she feels that three weeks is too short to make that sort of value judgement. You trust yourself but can you really trust him even in his parents home?You've seen the movies where lovers creep round the house at night in order to be closer to each other and so has your mum!
How do you really feel about him and how does he feel about you? If this is love then it will last and there will be lots of opportunity in the future to stay with each other. Your mum does love you, unconditionally. Is it worth upsetting her and losing her trust in order to push this issue?
It takes a lot of maturity to deal with a situation like this. Try to imagine that you have a 16 year old daughter asking the same of you. What would you really say?
Talk to your mum and ask her what she is worried about. It may not be just the one night away but coming to terms with the fact that her little girl is growing into a woman. Its a hard balance to strike between protecting you and allowing you to make your own decisions and leave her behind. Let your mum know that you love her and respect her and maybe try to find some sort of compromise. How would your mum feel if he was invited to stay at your house instead where she could keep more of an eye on things and get to know your boyfriend better?
Good luck and remember that either way, its only one night, and there will be plenty of others.
2006-09-02 09:10:07 · answer #4 · answered by honeybunchkaminski 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I would not try to get your mom to change her mind. Look at it this way you are only 16 and it seems your mother loves you enough and cares about you enough to say no to this.
I think your mother is a wise mother and wants the best for her daughter. Have a granddaughter right now who did not listen to her mother, did the same thing that you wish to do and is now pregnant.
No matter what this boy may tell you, things change and it might be an occasion you might end up with many regrets.
Be wise gal. I am a man yet, Boys and men cant always be trusted. Good grief, did I write that? Good luck, but serious consider what mom is saying to you. You have not known this boy long enough to even consider this. If he were my son, I would be saying no way will I allow this to take place in my home.
2006-09-02 08:54:47 · answer #5 · answered by apostle1938 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your mum! First of all 3 weeks are not much and you and mum might not know him enough that's why she won't let you. Make a little sacrifice for now and sleep at yours. And by the way the often you do it the less exciting it will be so wait until a little older!
2006-09-02 08:56:37 · answer #6 · answered by Rody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't believe that nothing will happen. She said no because it is a boys house. No one but you can persuade her to trust you. You have to earn her trust. You have to start by saying that you will be home by 12 and you HAVE to be home by 12 so that she can start trusting you. Don't go to his house even when your mom said no. She will never trust you again and you will be in so much trouble. Maybe ask your mom if he can sleep over your house. Your mom can check on you every once in awhile and she sees that nothing will happen then maybe next time she will let you sleep over your boyfriends house. Good Luck
2006-09-02 08:50:12 · answer #7 · answered by girlygirl274 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey
yeah i can understand why it is annoying
but your mum cares she don't want you getting hurt or pregnant even tho you are sleeping in different rooms. lad will be lads, and i am sure she knows of her own experiences.
all i can suggest to you, is go out with him a little longer,and show your mum he is a good lad, or if you both really want to have a sleepover ask if it would be better if other Friends slept over as well like a big sleepover at your house or etc am sure she would be more happier with that.
good luck x
2006-09-02 08:49:06 · answer #8 · answered by XxXxPinkPrincessxXxX 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all i give ur mum many props. way to go mum. i am a mum of 3 girls. and it will b over my dead body that at the age of 16 they will stay at all boys house or have any boys stay at our home. ur a child not an adult. u need to b thinking about ur education not sleeping at ur boyfriends house. that non-sense can wait until ur grown. and wake up call ur only 16. not 26,36,46, or 99 so keep ur place as a child and u will get along much better.
2006-09-02 08:49:21 · answer #9 · answered by brenda b 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
yep i do think she is being reasonable, you have been seeing him 3 weeks your mum doesnt know his family well enough to trust them with the sleeping arrangement.
what teenagers say and do are two different things and your mum is only looking out for you.
theres plenty of time to stay over give it a few months and your mum may be happy with you staying over there
2006-09-02 08:50:25 · answer #10 · answered by ♥fluffykins_69♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your mum cant be sure that what you say is going to happen.
she is worried about how fast you are growing up. you have only been with this guy 3 weeks so maybe you should wait a lil longer.
i know its hard for you coz i went thru it when i was your age but there really isnt anything that will make your mum change her mind.
maybe you should invite him round for tea at yours more so your mum can get to see what he is like so she will trust you more in the future.
2006-09-02 08:49:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋