Y is every men jealous of me that I get 72 virgins in heaven & they get none in hell?

Question

I am going to have a blast up there & u guys suffer in hell

Answer 1

You are no hero, and your bullshit is hurting your nation's image.------Carefully study the teachings of Islam and start showing respect for other religions because, beneath the surface, they are all the same.------I wish you well. May God/Allah grant you wisdom and understanding, and teach you to to be a true hero of your country.------You can begin your heroic phase immediately by withdrawing all your hate-filled questions, and apologising to us all. Allah will be pleased and teach you how to use Yahoo! Answers in the service of God and humanity.-----Best wishes. Philip

Answer 2

72 Questions on the 72 Virgins

By Martin M. Bodek
http://www.martinbodek.com/

Muslim fundamentalists believe that a "martyr" (shaheed) who dies while fighting in the holy war against the infidels (jihad) goes to paradise where he is given 72 beautiful virgins for wives plus a number of never aging boys for slaves (apparently, pedophilia is allowed in paradise as well as slavery and polygamy). This is the eternal bliss that the suicidal Islamic terrorists crave. In an interesting twist, if a woman dies as a martyr, she is rewarded with only one husband since women are supposed to stay monogamous even in heaven -- according to the same Islamic doctrine.

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1) What if the bomber wants girls with more experience?
2) What if one virgin is no good in bed? Does she get replaced or is he stuck with 71?
3) If he's gay, does he get male virgins?
4) What if he's celibate? What does he get?
5) What if he hasn't reached puberty yet? Does he get 72 Xboxes till he comes of age?
6) If he's bi, does he get 36 of each?
7) If he blows himself up while building the bomb, does he still get credit?
8) What do you call a relationship with 72 women, a menage-a-soixante-douze?
9) Are they like 72 wives or 1 wife and 71 concubines?
10) What if he's ugly or smells bad and the virgins don't want anything to do with him?
11) Is there viagra in paradise? Ya know, just in case?
12) Is there an age of consent?
13) When they're deflowered, do they get replaced by new virgins or are they "born again"?
14) Do they become his common-law wives eventually?
15) If he has a tryst with a 73rd virgin, do the others consider it cheating?
16) Do the virgins have a union? If so, can they strike if they're not satisfied?
17) Is there a temp agency that replaces virgins if they call in sick?
18) What if the bomber's into animals? Does he get accommodated?
19) Why 72? Is 71 too few? Is 73 too many?
20) If it was a female bomber, how do the male virgins prove their virginity?
21) What happens when paradise runs out of virgins?
22) Can a bomber make reservations on specific virgins before he blows himself up?
23) If there are no virgins available, is he put on a waiting list?
24) If he's a catholic priest, does he get 72 little boys?
25) Would you call a female bomber a bombshell?
26) Would you call a child bomber a bombino?
27) Is it not 73 out of respect for Barry Bond's home run record?
28) If the bomber previously dated one of the virgins, does it get awkward?
29) Do they have a bomb squad in paradise just in case one of the charges didn't go off?
30) Did they start using female bombers because they ran out of virgins for the guys?
31) If she's a lesbian, do they "convert" the virgins, or will straight girls suffice her?
32) Does a hermaphrodite bomber get hermaphrodite virgins?
33) If so, are there 72 available?
34) If they run out of virgins, do they get inflatable dolls till they find more?
35) If a bomber finds an infidel in paradise, can he blow him up and get 72 more virgins?
36) Could the Koran have had a typo and it actually provided just one 72 year old virgin?
37) Is Muslim hell being one of the 72 virgins?
38) Instead of 72 guys, would a female bomber settle for 1 man who does dishes and garbage?
39) Do the bombers go broke on Valentine's Day?
40) If he's monogamous, does he pick one of the 72 or does he get a supermodel?
41) What if he doesn't like either gender? Does he just klutz around in paradise?
42) Eternity is long, and eventually he'll grow bored of his 72 women. What happens then?
43) How does he pick the 72 to begin with? Lottery? Beauty pageant? Police lineup?
44) Is he allowed to covet his neighbor's virgins?
45) Do the virgins have agents and/or contracts?
46) If so, can a virgin request to be traded or put on waivers if she's unhappy?
47) What should he say if one of the virgins asks "Does this Burka make me look fat?"
48) If he gives the wrong answer, is he uh, screwed?
49) How is anyone expected to handle a catfight amongst 72 women?
50) Did the 9/11 hijackers who didn't know they were going to die get 72 virgins too?
51) Are scouts employed to find virgin talent?
52) Do the virgins ever retire, or do they remain virgins forever?
53) If they retire, what kind of pension plan do they get?
54) Wouldn't it be interesting if they're virgins because they're ugly?
55) So is it 72 Muslim girls or like 1 virgin from every culture?
56) Wouldn't it be sweet if Lorena Bobbit got hired as one of the virgins?
57) What does Gloria Steinem have to say about all this?
58) When he gets home, does he have to say "How was your day?" to all 72 virgins?
59) Do they have counseling for sexual addiction in paradise?
60) If the virgins start hogging the remote, is he in hell?
61) They must take up an entire theater when they go to the movies, huh?
62) Are there restaurants in paradise that can accommodate a reservation for 73?
63) If a virgin suffers from multiple personalities, is she considered two virgins?
64) Does he get all the virgins at once, or do they have an installment plan?
65) Is the bomber entitled to subsitutes, exchanges, or refunds?
66) What if all the king's horses and all the king's men can't put the bomber together again?
67) Is "not tonight, dear, I have a headache" a valid excuse in paradise?
68) Do the virgins come with a warranty?
69) If so, does paradise replace defective parts and provide on-site service?
70) What do you call a lifetime warranty if you're dead?
71) Do siamese twin bombers get 144 virgins?
72) Who gets to clean up all those nasty sheets?
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Answer 3

OK, Mr. "I think that 72 virgins in heaven is a good thing", here is a question. Why just 72, why not 100, or 7200, or 10,000? Is 72 some kind of magical muslim number? WELL, to be serious about this subject... if THATs ALL you get, then your religon just plain SUCKS!! Christians get ALL the women, in both heaven and hell - we get first choice - including your 72 virgins - and anything else we want. So, if those precious virgins is all you have to brag about - you need to convert to christianity. GOOD-BYE LOSER!!

Answer 4

1st of all u r not a muslim, becoz every muslim knows that suicide is haram or forbidden in Islam. a person comitting suicide will die all the time in his afterlife the same way.

also a true muslim very well knows that there are no 72 virgins waiting for cowards who kill others. there is only one for one man and one for every woman, one for each other until the rest of eternity. Allah's home - Heaven is not a place for sex, there is no sex and encounters there. there in Heaven u exist as souls and companions of each other. so keep ur dirty minded ideas too urself.

so stop faking it as a muslim, i can spot a real bad one from a distance. and try doing some good deeds in ur account.

Answer 5

That's bull crap! Muslims are the anti-Christ that are walking the Earth and us Christians need to help these evil people with prayer so this nonsense stops. Why have wars upon other religons when NO ONE knows the true religon out there!.. We'll all know the reality when we die! All our question will be answered. As far as the 72 virgins, that's another form of being degrating towards women in the Middle East and that pisses me off! Men always want power and to be honest, women are th strongest gender!!! Men in the middle East are SCUM!!!!!

Answer 6

72 what!!?? I don't know where you got this, and don't you ever tell me it's God's words. Just let you know, even those who go to hell have mates - that if you are referring to Quraan but only God knows what heaven really looks like definitely it will not be a prostitution house
Instead of dreaming of the group sex just remember God's mighty words which says if you kill one sole you killed the whole human beings. Good news for suicide-rs, destroyers of the pure Islamic values...72 devils are waiting for...

Answer 7

Two things. I'm not going to Hell. You're not getting 72 virgins.

Answer 8

Just a question - and I know it's a little inflammatory, but what are you going to do with 72 virgins? Would they be your wives?

Really, truely, just want clarification.

Answer 9

You got it wrong.....
You will meet 72 Virginians-George Washington, Andrew Jackson, Robert E. Lee,Thomas Jefferson, to name a few.

Answer 10

If you truly believe that, you're to be pitied. But to ask another question: What about the poor virgins? They have to spend eternity waiting on someone like you. What did they do to deserve that you poor fool?