I have grown up in a Christian family. I have been in the worship leading ministry playing keyboard and guitar sometimes since I was 10. When we moved to the city, I still got involved with the ministry where i met my first boyfriend. not that there is a second. he is the bass guitarist of the band. i admit we were fools who rushed in. we were both immature and selfish, insecure and really young and it didn't work out. It ended bitterly. He broke up with me. Said all the words that would make any human being feel unworthy of love. But i know that i have my mistakes also. After he broke up with me, he left the church without notice. It was hard to deal with but with God's help I was able to make it through but I still love him and I was unprepared for his coming back after a year (NOW). He came back at church and months later in the worship ministry and slowly had been trying to get back to me.
2006-09-02 00:28:34 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I have been changing numbers and running away until I thought maybe he's serious so I tried to be a friend but because of my paranoiam friendship seems impossible. And now i realized that he's still confused because he keeps standing me up on dates he would ask me to meet him. He's still an on and off church goer.
NOW.. I am personally a shipwreck. People around me are getting affected and hurt. Im thinking of vacationing from the ministry and the church to put myself together.
What can you say?
2006-09-02 00:28:52 · update #1
There are times that our personality style interacts with faith, relationships, and clear thinking. You seem like you could benefit from some counseling to determine what motivates your continued attraction to this gentleman (after a year and in spite of his disrespectful behavior) and the difficulty you have in creating space in your life for someone more suited to you.
Since he's coming back into the worship work, you may have a difficult time avoiding him at rehearsals and on Sundays, but until you know your own mind, it does not good for either of you to become entangled again outside of these times.
If you need to, ask a friend who is also involved in the worship to help you keep your distance from him until you know better what to do.
2006-09-02 00:43:36 · answer #1 · answered by NHBaritone 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, pray. I believe this guy doesn't really want to be with you. If he really wanted you, he wouldn't act this way. You may need to step back a ways and "re group". Maybe for the good of the worship team you may need to take a sabbatical. When in ministry, it can be draining and we need to get re-fired.
And it seems that Christians can be the most hurtful... I have been there. But whatever you, don't lose faith, because God does have someone out there for you. Time is sometimes part of the answer. We can't change the past, but we can learn from it.
2006-09-02 07:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by RB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say he is still trying to figure out who he is and you should do the same. Running away doesn't help and that is what your debating. Extend your hand and be thankful for what you had and have learned. Go find YOU! If there is more than just your past to the relationship, it will be there when the time is right. Let him know that too and explain your confusions inside and due to his actions also, then go GROW inside-that's what your supposed to be doing in church. The old "give it to God" is true-let it go and the answers will come. Good Luck!
2006-09-02 07:36:18 · answer #3 · answered by ARTmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God is not the author of confusion..... this guy is confused and double-minded and will do nothing but bring more chaos.....you sound talented... I would just associate with others more worthy of you, and if he wants to come around in a crowd or group, then ok.... but no private contact for now.. until you see him display a radical improvement in behavior
sometimes we love for a season for a purpose.... and other times we love forever....you have to be able to see if this was just for a season....give it some time... and do not be paranoid or nervous or upset.... just let things play themselves out....he will either improve...( and everyone will see that) or he will still be a mess....
If he is not right for you, someone better will come along. He is not the only fish in the sea...
2006-09-02 07:55:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, OK don't fall apart, if he stood you up since he is trying to get back, he's done! You are DONE with him! Here is your closeir, God wants to do exploits through single people and the devil will waist your time and energy with other people! People are the number one DISTRACTION FROM YOUR PURE DEVOTION TO CHRIST! So don't open no doors of possibilities for him or anyone else until Christ himself brings you prince charming that don't have all these weird feelings and freaking you and your family out. Its time to be single for a while and TRUST THE LORD , and in HIS time, you will get your mate! Singleness is a gift, for the one who can except it! Paul said remain as you were when you found Christ, if you were single ,stay single,I have been single now 12 years now and it is GREAT! I am free . Now girl FREE yourself!!!!! Go read your bible and stay away from boys this season!!!train the time is at hand! Don't be distracted from your Savior!
2006-09-02 07:40:12 · answer #5 · answered by bungyow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are both young and have a bright future. Only God knows if it is with each other.
I would say, get away from this enticement and get w/God in your closet. Maybe even find another church. Date others.
It is hard to make decisions with someone in your face who has hurt you.
Also satan is out to destroy you AND him so keep your guard up...you know the rules...just apply them.
You know, I Corin 13:1-13, that tells you what love is...always ask........does yours measure up to this?
People don't love people they hurt. That is not agape love.
God loves you just as you are and He is still working on you so do not put yourself down. You have a God, a name and a ministry to uphold.
Apparently he is not interested in serving God as he is in/out of Church. He can't make up his mind about God or the World so how can he make up your mind about him? or his about you?
2006-09-02 07:54:29 · answer #6 · answered by deed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bless him. Speak with him about the sermon or the bible study, but not about the two of you as a couple. Let him grow and heal without you so that you, too, may grow and heal. Be a friend and sister in Christ...but not a lover or girlfriend. Accept no dates UNLESS it is as a group (the bible study group is meeting for ice cream and you both go for the group and ice cream, not on a date).
2006-09-02 07:34:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that the this guy questions his own feelings. Go to God with this and wait for the answer. He will show you the way. In the meantime, don't wait for that phone call or invitation, get busy with other things. We are destined for heart breaks until we find the one who we want to live with the rest of our lives. I feel it's necessary to crawl before we can stand. Maturity answers alot of questions, let that come, things will be clearer for you. Understand that his maturity has not caught up with yours yet and may never. God Bless you that you are in the music ministry in your church. Praising God in that way is a Blessing to many who worship with you. Keep strong, God has a plan for you, and it may or may not be with this person. He will lead you.
2006-09-02 07:40:29 · answer #8 · answered by Barbara 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think that a vacation from the Church will help you. Your Christian faith is your biggest helper, so don't leave it!
And about that boy- I'm not sure if I can give you advices, but you probably should do what you think is right. But don't leave your faith!
2006-09-02 07:42:41 · answer #9 · answered by sdagdasuhaerhtbe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Numero Uno: Dump him.
Numero Dos: Take vacation to recover if really need.
Numero Tres: There are better men for you out there or in your church.
Numero Quatro: Sorry, I'm taken.
2006-09-02 07:33:06 · answer #10 · answered by Sick Puppy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋