my parents are negative and critical?

Question

all my life they put me down and make me feel worthless.they are in their 70's,ive been very forgiving up to 3 years ago.they will even be manipulators and lie,,but they call them selves christian,i havent talked to them in 2 years and i have stayed sober with out AA..recently i found out i have breast cancer,,and they want back in my life..but i told them mabey after i totally recover,cuz i need to hang around only positive people and not negative people...so WAS I WRONG?? AM I STILL CARRING A RESENTMENT?

Answer 1

You're definitely still carrying around a lot of resentment. You know when my Father was first diagnosed with Cancer one of the first things he did was forgive everyone in his life to remove any burdens off his shoulders, he was then able to be as strong as possible to fight the cancer, and survive his treatments.

My question to you is, your parents are in their 70s and you have already lost 2 years with part of your Family.
If something happened to you or them would you have wished that you made peace with these issues before it was to late?

So, my only advice is to just suck up your resentment for now.

You're gonna need them more than you know and they're gonna need you more than you know. So why not make peace while you can?

Answer 2

Are you blaming your parents for the situation you are in? You are the cause of your destiny. So set your mind to change and improve, by thinking the positive. If you set your mind to it, nothing is impossible!
In the meantime, I suggest you do not neglect your parents. Why do you need to do so until you recover? You can still visit them while hanging around positive people. If your mind is set why let negative people influence you?
You can show to your parents that you are a changed person for the better. This will make them happier for you. They will then be more positive towards you. You control the situation b4 its too late and you may regret not seeing them!

Answer 3

You are probably still carrying a resentment and i'm not surprised at that.Maybe one day you need to have an open and honest discussion with your parents in order to start again if thats what you want!

I am sorry to hear you have breast cancer and I do believe you need to be around positive people at this time in your life. I also think you are absolutely right to say to them 'maybe after you recover'
So you look after yourself and don't worry I think you have made the right decision

Answer 4

I'll just say you've been a little too harsh on them too. You know with parents like this, all you have to do is to pray for them ernestly and believe that God would change them. Right now maybe they've changed and since they want you back i'll advice you go back to them. You need there love and prayers in this critical moment of yours. But if you find out that the are still unchanged then you can leave them and go to a church or a charity home. I advice you plz don't keep malice with them. Show them you are different from them and that may make them change their attitutude. I wish you quick recovery and remember something I love you but GOD LOVES YOU ALWAYS.

Answer 5

They are still your parents...no matter how negative or bad they are. You said you have an illness.....don't you think you'll be needing them more now than ever....don't you think you'll recover faster if the people around you, are the people you love. And I dont believe that they told all of those negative things to you because they want you to be ashamed of yourself. Make it a challenge. Some parents use that kind of talking to their daughter or son....to make them brave and challenged to prove themselves. Your parents love you so much....they want to be with your side....they want to live their life with you until they are still breathing. Treasure them....and love them more....before you regret everything in the end. If they can't show you how they really care about you....be the one to show them that you love them so much. They are not negative..they are just afraid to what might happen...and you should help them to be brave. Your parents love you, remember that...

Answer 6

Adopted 1
Forgiveness is a powerful medicine! I understand your hurt, I have been there. Everyone is where they are for a reason even though we may not know it. Perhaps this is your mission especially now that you are ill. Forgiving them and letting them in your life may help heal you emotionally and in return may help in your physical recovery. This may be what they too need in their lives to help them let go of whatever has made them so negative. Good Luck and my prayers are with you. Keep being strong!

Answer 7

People can be poisonous as well.

Don't risk your sobriety for people who mistreat you. If they can change then that's one thing but don't keep banging your head against that wall out of guilt or obligation... You will be able to tell...

And you might still be resentful but I think that's healthy. You were wronged and they have not apologized or made amends...

Good luck with your health.

Answer 8

Hey, stick to what you feel is right for YOU. haven't talked to my parents in 15 yrs. I'm 51 now. Just gotta make piece with it in you re own head. You'll do just fine. Stay on the path ur on.

Stay smooth
prettycoolguy50

Answer 9

Your reaction is totally understandable and normal. NO one wants to be around with people like your parents. My mother is like at times, and I really resent it too. You've spent too much time with your parents, so it's normal for you to carry a resentment. I do, too.

Answer 10

I want to help you but I am only 12 years old .