i live in a muslim community, my family is muslim though not religious, im an atheist,i don't pray or practice religion as my family doesn't force me but they are still not so open minded as to accept the idea of my atheism..so i just kept it to myself.
now i will move to live and study in a european country, which is like a huge opportunity for me to be the person i truly am (as an open minded free spirit atheist) but the problem is..that i will leave in this octobre which happens to be Ramadan in the islamic calender (the month muslims fast in from sunrise to sunset) i've never ever fasted in my whole life or been a good muslim and i wasnt planning on fasting, until one of the muslim friends from my nationality called me yesterday to gather with other students and decide where to eat at sunset .
it seems that she wants us to fast and eat together and maybe even pray together.. and i dont want to pretend..something that im not anymore and if i don't go to eat with them,
2006-09-01 21:23:28 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
they will start looking at it as "oh she left her country and now she's being a total bi*tch and this is a chance to be a bad person..she thinks "allah" doesn't see her if she move to another country" etc etc etc..
i feel torn, a part of me sees this chance as a way to get out and stop pretending to be amuslim, coz i was never a muslim and i am NOT a muslim.. and this girl from my nationality as i said and i know girls from my country gossip and talk too much.. and a part of me doesn't want to be isolated and doesn't want to risk being in religious problems.. as ive got plenty already and honestly scared of their comments etc etc..
i can't also avoid the students from my home country because i will be a stranger in a new country and will need company and friends..
what should i do?
2006-09-01 21:26:30 · update #1
For GOD so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believe in him, shall not perish, but have eternal life.
2006-09-01 21:27:12 · answer #1 · answered by Kenny 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're at the beginning of a new life. I think you shouldn't start that of with a lie. If you're an atheist, don't pretend to be something else. Just tell your Muslim friends you don't fast. If they don't want to hang out with you for that reason, well, then they don't like you for who you are anyway, so maybe you're better off without them. I don't see why you couldn't eat with them. I'm not a Muslim, but I've shared meals with Muslims after sunset. If your friends really don't want to hang out with you if you don't want to fast or pray, then it's time to make new friends. I'm sure you'll get plenty of opportunity to make new friends once you start you study. It may be a bit scary and lonely at first, but starting a new life often is. You wont be the only one starting a new life and other people will need to make new friends to. I think you should make friends with people who accept you for who and what you are, otherwise you'll be living a lie and that's just about the loneliest life there is. Good luck on finding friends and good luck on you studies.
2006-09-02 04:44:48 · answer #2 · answered by chocolatebunny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see the difficulty of your situation. I would recommend that you pretend at the beginning. If you go a few times but say you have other plans for the other days then you will not be isolated from these girls but will still have more freedom. However as you spend more time in France you will make new friends and will be able to move away from this group if you still want to. I understand how you feel I have felt the pressure to conform (i was brought up Catholic) and understand how difficult the issue of faith and expectations can be. However its probably worth pretending to be religious to have some contacts in france at the beginning. Sometimes we have to pretend to get by in life. However it wont be forever.
2006-09-04 19:31:14 · answer #3 · answered by IwishicoulddeleteYahooAnswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is always a risk when it comes to living speaking your own truth. no, not everyone will like it and you may lose some people because of it. no, it isn't fun to be rejected, but do you really want friends that don't love you for who you are? you could let them know that you are atheist and still would like to be friends and interact with them outside of religious ceremonies or you could still share the tradition time with them (i am not christian, but i do gather sometimes with my family at christmas just to see them) but that doesn't mean you can't be open about who you are and your beliefs too...does it? love isn't confined by religion, so i just don't get why it still exists today as an issue. if it turns out you have the courage to go head long into experiencing your freedom at the risk of being cast out, i can tell you from having been a solo traveler, it is much easier to meet new people when you are alone and it can open you up to finding like-minded ones too. every risk i have taken has been worth trip...there are a lot of beautiful things to be had out there if you can get past the fear.
2006-09-02 04:54:51 · answer #4 · answered by curious1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are lying then who are you fooling but yourself. Allah knows you are lying and other people will to. Never be afraid to be yourself. If the religion of your family is not your choice then at least be adult enough to stop pretending. If your friends cannot accept you are you are, then find new ones.
Now, big point here. Even if you stop pretending that does not give you license to be disrespectful of your parents religion. Use wisdom in how you share it. As for being Atheist, that is standard at your age, so why not say you are exploring, which really you are.
You have to know why you believe as you do, so that you are not ashamed to stand behind it. Right now, you are not sure, as evidenced by your hiding it.
You can tell your friends no. That is a great word. And don't tell them why, but that you choose not to, but wish them well.
Diplomatic but firm.
2006-09-02 04:34:53 · answer #5 · answered by delzakiya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went to high school with a girl who grew up in the Arab world in a Christian family. When she would go visit family in Egypt during Ramadan, she would observe fasting as a cultural custom, although it is not part of being a Christian.
I would tell your new friends the truth about your beliefs. If they have been in western culture long enough, they may be okay with your feelings.
2006-09-02 04:29:26 · answer #6 · answered by Tina K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the very best person you can be without even trying and really succeeding at it is yourself. besides the fact that not believing in spirituality is not explainable, islam does not do it for you. have you ever seen a magic show? well, that is spiritual, something that the physical world cannot explain. there is something beyond this world that we see. you may not think it is Allah, you may not think it is Buddah, you may not think it is jehovah or even Satan, but it exists and is beyond what we see and can know scientifically. be the person you can be comfortable being. believe in something you can be comfortable believing in and don't pretend it because of any human being.
2006-09-02 04:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by leslie g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were to fast that one day, not for religious reasons but so you could share an experience with friends, you would not have to pretend anything.
If people ask anything about your Ramadan experience, you could tell them that you don't practice Islam, but you respect it. If they don't accept that, then just go on with your life.
Good luck in Europe!
2006-09-02 04:39:40 · answer #8 · answered by beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force yourself to be a Muslim or any other faith whatsoever if your heart doesn't belong to it. Being yourself has consequences but if by being yourself gives you the most precious freedom to be truly who you are to what you gonna be in the future then consequences is a small price to pay. Have faith even as an atheist.
2006-09-02 04:30:59 · answer #9 · answered by Frontal Lobe 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should never have to pretend to be something that you are not. if they are your friends they will respect this. if they do not respect your choices then prehaps you need to make some new friends.
i am pagan i have friends of every faith that i can think of...i lost a few christian friends when i started openly wearing a pentagram.
but i figure that if something as stupid as what god i believe in can c hange their ideas about me then they are not friends.
2006-09-02 05:01:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes , OK, first yes I would not attend, but second come on man look a little deeper there is a God and this and you and me are his creation and children. Everything from the DNA screams there has to be a creator. OK now that that is said, I know him personally and his name is Jesus! It is by that name you gain the HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD HIMSELF TO LIVE INSIDE OF YOU
1 Then he blesses you all your days with his leadings and guidings and his wisdom living inside of you, ready and waiting for you to call upon it, and then the holy spirit living in you will bring all things to your remembrance! And you can pray and see the sick healed. Jesus is the name in which demons flee from you and every curse is broken and every promise God has for us is yes, in JESUS NAME! that ABOUT ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW! FOR TODAY!
2006-09-02 04:31:02 · answer #11 · answered by bungyow 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋